Hello Everyone! Could I get your Advice?


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Laura8 is offline Laura8 Post #1  May 10,2010, 1:34pm
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Hi Everyone!
I am new to the group and am glad to be here! I would like to run something by you all, not in great detail, because I do believe in some privacy, but, I would like some advice.
Roughly two weeks ago, I was matched with someone who I believe has alot of the same interests, wants/don't wants, (it's almost eery there are that many!) etc.. We also exchanged the open-ended questions. We are now at the e-mail stage of communication. I haven't heard from him. I do know that he has been viewing my Profile on a daily basis though. I thought that I would have received something, at least a hello by now. Within the past couple of weeks, I have sent an IB, and a Nudge. I keep thinking, is there something that I should be doing? Why hasn't he left anything? Am I missing something? I completely understand how busy we all get, but, its the not knowing how the open-ended questions were perceived. If we had been exchanging e-mails, I wouldn't be wondering..I just would like to begin to get to know this match because he does seem to be
a great match. Any ideas why I haven't heard anything? I believe that I will just continue to be pleased that he is viewing my Profile! Thanks for your imput! Laura8
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  May 10,2010, 1:37pm
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By any chance is it your turn to send the first e-mail? If so, he can't send one to you until you take this step and actually send him an e-mail.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  May 10,2010, 1:43pm
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Exactly what Dancing said. If it is your turn to start OC he can't send you anything until you do. Also, even if he sent you the first OC message, you have to send him one as well for the communication to be truly open.
 
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raerae178 is offline raerae178 Post #4  May 10,2010, 1:54pm
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This has happened to me before and - know its really frustrating when you can see that he is looking at your profile but doing nothing about it. Check into what dancing and andie said, it could have just been a small oversight on your part. If not you'll unfortunately have to just wait it out. if you already sent and IB and a nudge, I personally would wait it out another week and then close. But I'm a little impatient in those situations! LOL!

Good Luck! I hope he responds!
 
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Laura8 is offline Laura8 Post #5  May 10,2010, 5:08pm
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Thanks everyone!
I never thought that I would need to send an e-mail. The last thing that I sent were my answers to his questions..Well, this would explain why he keeps viewing it..hmm..I'll have to check! Where do I go to send an e-mail? I'll go check it out! I hope it is something silly like an oversite! Laura8
 
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Laura8 is offline Laura8 Post #6  May 10,2010, 5:29pm
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Well.. I tried every combination to try to send an e-mail, but to no avail. I do think that it is up to him to make any sort of communication. It looks promising, but, I just don't get it!?
Laura8
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #7  May 10,2010, 7:03pm
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Laura8 wrote :
Well.. I tried every combination to try to send an e-mail, but to no avail. I do think that it is up to him to make any sort of communication. It looks promising, but, I just don't get it!?
Laura8
Could be his subscription ran out and can no longer communicate. Dont close him until after the next free communication weekend.
Or he doesnt know the ball is in his court.
Doesnt hurt to leave it open.
Sorry, but your going to have to focus on new matches till then. O darn.
 
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Laura8 is offline Laura8 Post #8  May 11,2010, 12:59pm
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Hi Everyone!
Well, I have been tweaking my Preferences, so that I could receive more matches. I read somewhere that the success stories are as such because they left their matches open for along time. I think I'll do that, I do hope that I hear from him, that initial e-mail is such a challenge to wait patiently for! I do believe that he does know that it's up to him! All I can do is wait and communicate with others. Thanks!
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  May 11,2010, 1:53pm

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Hi Laura8,

I can appreciate that you’re bewildered by a match who has viewed you recently yet not responded yet. It’s true that communication can pick up again, so it’s a good idea to leave that match open for now, in my opinion.

It’s an excellent idea to open your settings so you can receive more matches! There are some articles on our Using eHarmony page written by our own Advice Host Renee that might give you some creative match setting ideas:

eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Distance
eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Personal Preferences
Using eHarmony: Exploring the 'No Way' Setting

Good luck!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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Laura8 is offline Laura8 Post #10  May 12,2010, 4:08pm
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Hi Everyone,
Well, I've been closed by the guy that I have been "waiting" for. (I haven't been waiting waiting as it sounds but, I was sure hoping that it would continue.)
Why? He was the one who initiated the original questions, he was the one who started it all. We "made it" all the way to the e-mails. He kept looking and looking and yet no e-mail. In meantime, I thought that I was supposed to be doing something, so I thought to add some more pictures. I think that today was the first day he saw the new ones. I can't help but be upset that one of the reasons why he started it all, was in part due to the pictures, and of course my Profile. Why else would he close it? My answers were "normal," and it all looked good. Is it crazy to be depressed? Laura8
 
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