Robinke1500 is offline Robinke1500 Post #1  May 9,2010, 3:23pm
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Ok, I've been using EH for a few months. I have had a few dates, but nothing really special. I see girls that I would like to talk to and find out who they are on the inside. I send a request for communication and nothing??? I thought at first maybe I was hitting users that didn't exist or something. I know my profile is ok and I'm not ugly so whats going on??? Seems like the only people that want to talk with me are freaks that won't post a photo or have in their profile they are a recovering alcoholic!! I do live in a rural area so I don't have the benefit of large city match pool but this is getting crazy! Any ideas???
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #2  May 9,2010, 5:20pm
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Have you tried posting your profile here to get some feedback?
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  May 9,2010, 5:21pm
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First I will recommend you take a look at your settings. See if you can be more flexible on the importance of any of them. It could be that perfect match is just a year younger or older than your stated preferences.

You say "freaks that won't post a photo". Well, some people are just a bit tech challenged or maybe a tab camera shy. You can always request their photos via the Photo Nudge.

What age range are you looking for? Based on what I read on this forum, the younger ages are less represented, but growing.

What rural area are you in? I'm in rural Northern California and have no problem receiving matches. My settings are a bit wide set, so that may be why I get more.

I'll encourage you to stay with it. It can take a while.

Oh, and put your height preference at the least important. I bet you will see a difference just by doing that (if you haven't already).
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #4  May 9,2010, 5:56pm
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Robinke1500 wrote :
Ok, I've been using EH for a few months. I have had a few dates, but nothing really special.
I know how you feel -- but a few dates in a few months isn't a bad result. I think I had two dates in 3 months from eH, although I had the attitude that meeting just ONE great guy was all I was looking for. Being off the beaten path, an hour from metropolitan area has made the geography a challenge for me too.

Be patient though, and the previous posters' advice is worth following. Good luck!
Last edited by lacedwithhope; May 9,2010 at 5:57pm. Reason: I don't like liver ... prefer ... well just about anything! ; )
 
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melman is offline melman Post #5  May 9,2010, 7:30pm
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Robinke1500 wrote :
I thought at first maybe I was hitting users that didn't exist or something. I know my profile is ok and I'm not ugly so whats going on???
lacedwithhope wrote :
I know how you feel -- but a few dates in a few months isn't a bad result. I think I had two dates in 3 months from eH
That's about what my experience was too. And that's living in a major city.

Estimates posted on these forums and elsewhere, suggest that 60 to 90% of your matches are Not Really There. They are members from years ago, or free members that never paid up. They will never view your profile or respond to any communication. So yes, OP, you are right - you're getting a lot of users that don't exist.

That's the reality of it. The commercials don't mention that, do that? Adjust your expectations. That's all you can do.
 
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suzyque is offline suzyque Post #6  May 9,2010, 7:52pm
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Eharmony sounds great and I think you get quality people who are serious about a relationship. However, when I was actively looking, I put myself on at least two different services at a time. I chose Yahoo and Match. If I go on again, I would choose Eharmony as one, based on the quality of people on this board. But I would still go with another - probably match. I know it is expensive, but perhaps try 2 services.
 
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bluskies4ever is offline bluskies4ever Post #7  May 9,2010, 11:57pm
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What's wrong with a recovered alcoholic? Better than a practicing alkie. Your recovered matches might very well have livers pure as the driven snow. More than one drink in a day, more than twice or thrice a week, puts a woman at a much greater risk of br e a st cancer.

Recovered alcoholics past and present:

Johnny Carson

Bruce Willis

Glen Campbell

Bill W.

Robert Young I'm not sure ever gave up the sauce, but he was an extremely sweet man (and shy too).
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #8  May 10,2010, 1:06am
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Some people actually like chopped liver.

I question their sanity, but ... they're out there ...
 
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loves2write is offline loves2write Post #9  May 12,2010, 6:35pm
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[quote=melman;974497] They are members from years ago, or free members that never paid up. They will never view your profile or respond to any communication. ]

Melman,

I knew that nonpaying members cannot respond to communications, but are you saying they can't view profiles either?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #10  May 12,2010, 7:19pm
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No, that's not what I'm saying. Anyone (paying or not) can be matched (if their matching is turned on), and can read communications. Non-paying members can't send any communications, and can't view pictures.

I'm saying that most ex-members never log into their accounts again, and that's why they will never view your profile.
 
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