shebears is offline shebears Post #1  May 8,2010, 2:36pm
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Hello, I'm a newbie, three weeks now. I get 3-6 matches sent to me everyday. Not to mention that it seems 50% of them have no photo (most likely non-members), only 1 per day view me. Even the profiles I send icebreakers to, don't view me. I'm starting to believe that even that many of the matches that have photos are non-members. Am I missing something here? I'm wondering if I am wasting my money. Looking for any feedback that will encourage me to stick with eHarmony.

Thanks
Sherbears
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  May 8,2010, 3:28pm
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Have you checked your anonymous view counter? It is at the bottom of the Who's Viewed Me tab. It should tell you how many anonymous people have looked at your profile in the last two weeks.

I wouldn't worry too much about who has viewed you as much as who is communicating with you.

Some people only check their eH accounts every few days or so. Some leave it for days, weeks, months, sometimes even years without turning off their matching. It would be nice if eH had an inactivity time out that would bump these people into the turned off matching mode. But, they don't, so we have to deal with a few dead profiles.

You might want to look at your settings. Your age (not just the age range you selected) can have an effect on the activity level of your matches.

I will say that many people won't have immediate success. Three weeks is not a lot of time for any dating site. It takes time and patience.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #3  May 8,2010, 3:29pm
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I would strongly advise you not to send icebreakers since that is the only form of communication that can be used by non-paying members. Just go ahead and send the five questions. I have yet to see a guy on here get worked up over a woman initiating. The response of that is nearly universally positive.

Incomplete profiles and no photos are usually telltale signs of a non-paying match. It isn't always true, but that's usually one of the biggest signs.

I don't pay any attention to the "who's viewed me tab." The only attention I care about on eHarmony is who is communicating with me.

Basically, you have to make your own breaks with eHarmony or any other online dating site for that matter. That means communicating with the people you're interested in and working toward meeting those people.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #4  May 8,2010, 4:33pm

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Hi shebears,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice and to our Singles service.

I would agree that, if you are interested in a match, instead of sending an icebreaker, the best use of your subscription time is to simply send your first questions.

Also, it can take new members a little time to get their profile in order and post a photo -- even subscribers. So if you're interested in a match based on their profile answers, we encourage you to initiate communication anyway.

However, if you're not open to doing so, we recommend that you to give your match a week or so to post a photo before you consider closing communication. You just never know. A match, for instance, may need someone to help them take more up-to-date photos, and your patience may be greatly rewarded once the photos are posted.

Speaking of patience, even though members are on eHarmony because they are serious about finding their soul mate, they are also living their lives out in the world. So as a new member, I also encourage you to be patient when awaiting a match's response.

If a match doesn't respond after a week, give them a nudge. Then, if still no response after a 2nd week, you may choose to close the match or leave it open if you are really interested in a match. Some eHarmony couples owe their success to one of the members being very patient when awaiting the other's response.

Also, just so you know, most successful members were on our site 3-6 months before they were successfully matched and not all of them had faith that they would find The One on eHarmony. But they stuck with it, and some of these members share how they "nearly gave up" on our Success Stories page: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/nearly-gave-up.

If you need inspiration to stick with eHarmony, I think reading these members stories will be very helpful. Also, I wrote an Advice article to help members have a positive, successful eHarmony experience. If you'd like to check it out, here's the link:
Using eHarmony: 5 Must Read Tips

All the best.

-Renee
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  May 9,2010, 8:00am
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As the others have said, don't send IceBreakers send First Questions.
 
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shebears is offline shebears Post #6  May 9,2010, 8:14am
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Thanks everyone for the advice. Good points!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  May 9,2010, 9:02am
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee wrote :
...
Also, just so you know, most successful members were on our site 3-6 months before they were successfully matched ...

All the best.

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
You keep saying this. So what does this make me since I have been on eHarmony over 2 years and have not been successfully matched?
 
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vax72 is offline vax72 Post #8  May 12,2010, 2:12pm
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I do use the 'who's viewed me' a lot.

I find that I can see those (who have not chosen to hide it) that have viewed me and not responded. I can then give them a nudge, wait a further 7 days then close if no reply, but at least I know that they are active on the site.

I wouldn't like to see this feature go IMO.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  May 12,2010, 2:34pm

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
You keep saying this. So what does this make me since I have been on eHarmony over 2 years and have not been successfully matched?
Hi Gr8guyn2008 -

This is an average out of thousands of people. So it’s not a value judgment or prediction on how long it takes anyone. I know many people who have been using the service for longer than you have and they found someone worth waiting for. I can understand you’re frustration at this number, though.

All the best,

~Kate
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Tank is online now Tank Post #10  May 12,2010, 7:22pm
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vax72 wrote :
I do use the 'who's viewed me' a lot.

I find that I can see those (who have not chosen to hide it) that have viewed me and not responded. I can then give them a nudge, wait a further 7 days then close if no reply, but at least I know that they are active on the site.

I wouldn't like to see this feature go IMO.
I agree, I use View Me to see that if I send a match Questions and they looked at my profile if they don't respond or close me out they are probably not paying members.
 
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