So I guess he's just not that into me...


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dermit310 is offline dermit310 Post #1  May 6,2010, 5:14pm
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I was matched with this really amazing guy and we really hit it off over email and the one phone call we had. He called me and then I contacted him a few days later. He hasn't initiated anything since the phone call... except maybe a text. Now it's been over a week without anything from him.

I guess it's safe to assume he's moved on, right? lol! Fortunately he lives 16 hours away, so there's no chance of awkwardly bumping into him.

*sigh*

What a bummer man... it seemed to be going so well.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  May 6,2010, 5:26pm
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Have you initiated anything since the phone call?
 
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dermit310 is offline dermit310 Post #3  May 6,2010, 5:28pm
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
Have you initiated anything since the phone call?
Yeah, I sent him a text and he answered, but then he disappeared. So I figured he was just busy. Then I sent him an email the next day (just light and friendly). And he answered, but then disappeared again. (It's been about a week) I think since he hasn't initiated anything means he either expects me to do all the work, or he's extremely busy, or he's lost interest. (Am I right?)
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  May 6,2010, 5:45pm
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The magic eight ball says: It doesn't look good!
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #5  May 6,2010, 5:55pm
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dermit310 wrote :
Fortunately he lives 16 hours away....
16 hours away is a "fortunate" thing?!? That could be the very reason he cut communication.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #6  May 6,2010, 5:56pm
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dermit310 wrote :
Yeah, I sent him a text and he answered, but then he disappeared. So I figured he was just busy. Then I sent him an email the next day (just light and friendly). And he answered, but then disappeared again. (It's been about a week) I think since he hasn't initiated anything means he either expects me to do all the work, or he's extremely busy, or he's lost interest. (Am I right?)
Or.... because he answered he figures it's your turn.
 
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ravitaekwondo is offline ravitaekwondo Post #7  May 6,2010, 6:20pm
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Hey there dermit 310,

Hate to say it....you've probably lost him. From my experience, whenever anybody poofs like that, they become afraid of the realities of commitment and devotion.

It will hurt now, but believe me, the hurt would have been much worse had you guys invested more into your relationship and he poofed out then. It's much better to find out now.

Keep looking and remain optimistic...he's out there. It's just a matter of timing and having faith.

All the best!!! Let us know how things go!!!!
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #8  May 6,2010, 6:26pm
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dermit310 wrote :
Yeah, I sent him a text and he answered, but then he disappeared. So I figured he was just busy. Then I sent him an email the next day (just light and friendly). And he answered, but then disappeared again. (It's been about a week) I think since he hasn't initiated anything means he either expects me to do all the work, or he's extremely busy, or he's lost interest. (Am I right?)
Why do you keep accusing him of disappearing when it sounds like he replies to all your messages? How many messages would he have to send to satisfy you?

Have you tried picking up the phone and talking, rather than just typing?

How much do you expect to be chased by someone you apparently have never met? How much of his time do you feel entitled to?

Hint: if he had lost interest he would probably stop replying.
 
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dermit310 is offline dermit310 Post #9  May 6,2010, 7:02pm
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mrflyer wrote :
Why do you keep accusing him of disappearing when it sounds like he replies to all your messages? How many messages would he have to send to satisfy you?

Have you tried picking up the phone and talking, rather than just typing?

How much do you expect to be chased by someone you apparently have never met? How much of his time do you feel entitled to?

Hint: if he had lost interest he would probably stop replying.

I think you sound like a really mean person. I hope you're just having a bad day and you're not really that kind of man. Women don't find that attractive.

Speaking of women, It's not all on the lady to initiate contact. What is she supposed to think when all he does is reply and never does the contacting? It's not up to me to do all the work. It's give and take. That's how a successful relationship happens. Both parties need to be equally excited.

So Mr. Flyer, do I expect him the chase me down and confess his undying love for me? Obviously not. Do I assume if he's interested he'll, at the least, send me a text to ask me how my week is going? Absolutely. And if that's too much to ask or hope for, then I guess I'm out of luck.
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dermit310 is offline dermit310 Post #10  May 6,2010, 7:19pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Or.... because he answered he figures it's your turn.
It's definitely not my turn. He never answered my last message. If you have time to update your facebook status to something charming and witty, you have time to send someone a quick hello. And think of it the other way around... if he initiated contact with you twice and you never took the time to send him anything or call... don't you think he'd wonder if you were interested or not?

But listen, I don't want to sound bitter, because I'm honestly not. I really just wanted to see what other people thought. I think this whole thing is kind of fascinating in a way. Plus, in a couple weeks, the whole thing will just be an after thought. And I'll find someone else when the time is right. Being single just isn't that bad, lol
 
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