Do you "acknowledge" closes from strong matches?


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123noname789 is offline 123noname789 Post #21  May 7,2010, 7:50am
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Nabaati wrote :
I just had an experience that may change your mind about reconsidering. I got through the first 2 stages of communication with a gal when she closed me out. We talked by email and it turns out that she took some things in my profile and must haves/can't stands not the way I meant (and in one case, the exact opposite of what I meant). We went out yesterday and looks like we're going to go out again. I don't know what's going to happen, but if I hadn't had an option to further communicate with her, she'd still have a skewed vision of me. People don't close each other out because they aren't interested in the match, they close each other out because they aren't interested in their PERCEPTION of the match. The option to reconsider can allow you to correct a false perception.
You are exactly correct, it is perception, and that IS how we WILL continued to be viewed, by how people perceive us. Is it always fair, right and so on ? No, but, Mom covered fair and life a long time ago, they could get married because they’re not related.

This is one of the reasons I’m not a big fan of profiles to begin with, which so many people parade before us, to a laundry list of opinions. Key words may mean a positive to you, a negative to someone else. But, it’s all we have. I am one of those people who have better luck when people get to know me rather than a first impression. But, the realist I am, I know, particularly through this kind of dating, or ‘introduction service,’ it is going to be the first impression and the words I use for which I’ll be judged via this form. I take my reality pills.
 
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123noname789 is offline 123noname789 Post #22  May 7,2010, 7:51am
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cal_dude wrote :
What Eharmony tools one used (or don't) it's up to an individual. One of my friends only uses direct email. But he doesn't lobby EH to remove the guided communication. Why many of us here are upset is that EH always asked to keep minds and avenues of communication open. And with this "upgrade" it shut off one of the tools to do just that.

I know a couple who met because of the final message months later. Life gets in the way, and certain things gets postponed, not necessarily canceled. I had such experiences too.

I’m sorry, but I still must disagree, on response times, interest, and attention. I find most of the excuses weak.
Sure, life happens to all of us. On my various stints on eHarmony I have been away on vacations, funerals, weddings, business trips and so on. Only recently have I gotten a private notebook. Yet before, I had no trouble getting logged on to eHarmony, at least every few days, to review matches, click a few answers/send questions. Lengthy answers to the last line of questions, e-mails and phone calls, no, I often waited until I got back home to get to that. But, why do I put the effort into it ? I’m serious, I’m picky and I’m paying for this service.

Sure, people don’t respond in a timely manner, the love of my life, my perfect match got busy. Possible. A terrorist event could have been responsible, it is possible. But, I’ll put odds on she found another match or matches that sparked more of her attention and time, or her interest in eHarmony, dating or me has dropped off. Nothing wrong in that. But the robotic line, ‘Awww shucks…I got busy,‘ is tired. Being closed by a really ’good’ match, or…rather ’strong’ match, yeah, it sucks, no doubt. But, we shall learn to love again.

OK…so a tool was taken away and I do see your point, that would be a shame. In my view, it was a distraction, which has never worked. In fact, I might go as far to say, in some wistful manner a touch of an insult, to waste my time more. I don’t like investing in someone who isn’t going to do the same for me. It isn’t that hard to get it together to follow through, at least most of this process. I grant, I’d rather meet all my matches in person for five minutes. I’d learn more and make far better decisions to follow through than what we do here. But, it’s what we have and in my view, the system does a reasonably respectable job.
 
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angloaustralian is offline angloaustralian Post #23  May 8,2010, 5:01am
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At risk of off-topic comment, yes of course I do. I assume that all my people am
matched with know what they want. When they close, I accept that it is genuine expression of their intent.
 
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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #24  May 10,2010, 6:59pm

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Plain and simple, the recent changes suck. I went away in March and came back in April, and the site is MUCH worse.

You SHOULD be able to send a final message.
 
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