tooldforthis is offline tooldforthis Post #1  May 2,2010, 6:51pm
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Good day. Since I have not dated in quite some time, I would like to ask your opinion of something.

I received an eharmony email from one of my potential dates and all it said was: 'Want to go for a drink?'

I am probably too old fashioned for this but shouldn't we at least communicate a bit more first? At least that is what I have asked of him. It hasn't been long enough for him to reply to me yet.

What do you think? Am I being overly cautious?

Thanks for any replies.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  May 2,2010, 7:01pm
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Well, it depends on what his profiles says (is it completely filled out)? Have you communicated at all with this person besides this e-mail?

If you feel comfortable meeting him at a public place, go for it. If not, but want to get to know him, tell him that.
Last edited by AndieIsMe; May 2,2010 at 7:08pm.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  May 2,2010, 7:21pm
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Hummm, all of our matches are different. Some e-mail a long time. Some not so much.
This one may not like e-mail and wants to cut to the chase.
How eager are you to meet him? If he sounds like a good match. You might want to write him back and ask if you two could speak on the phone first and get to know each other a little better so you would feel more comfortable about meeting him for that drink.
 
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tooldforthis is offline tooldforthis Post #4  May 3,2010, 6:15am
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I don't this guy at all. The communication went from me sending questions - to him asking me if I want to meet for a drink. I think that's a bit fast or am I being old fashioned.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  May 3,2010, 6:45am
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tooldforthis wrote :
I don't this guy at all. The communication went from me sending questions - to him asking me if I want to meet for a drink. I think that's a bit fast or am I being old fashioned.
Some people immediately cut to the chase and want fast track or, something like what this guy said to you.
It's just a difference in preferences...not anything to do with being "old fashioned" or not....that phrase gets thrown around so much, I'm not sure anyone really knows what it means.

The bottom line is, if you're not comfortable with this, you could write back with something like: "Maybe...but first I'd like you to answer the questions I sent you, OK? You did get them didn't you?"
Or...
"Instead of just meeting quickly, I'd like to use the guided communication.."
If he doesn't "get that"...well, then I'd just move on.
Last edited by TheThinker; May 3,2010 at 6:47am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  May 3,2010, 9:54am
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The thing with the online thing is that it's merely an introduction to a person. The reality is that until you meet face to face, you have no idea who this person is, whether or not you'll really like each other, etc. no matter how long you e-mail back and forth. So people who have learned about that through experience, shy away from wasting time online and ask to meet sooner rather than later. There is nothing weird or wrong with that.

I'd just offer to meet in a nice public place and see how it goes if you are interested in him at all. It's nothing more than an hour of your time and some common sense in terms of driving yourself to the meeting place, public, don't get drunk, etc. Normal basic personal safety precautions. You'll either meet and like each other or not and that's that.
 
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