Asking for outside email address...


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Scout2 is offline Scout2 Post #1  May 1,2010, 8:42pm
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I have been getting request from a person that wants my outside email address, but he has not been very forthcoming in the EH communications. He just says, I hope to get to know you better, nice getting to know you on EH. Has this happened to anyone else?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  May 1,2010, 9:11pm
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What is your goal? If you think you may be interested in the guy, ask to meet him. And do so without giving away an outside email address or a phone number or anything else that you really need to keep private.

You say "he has not been very forthcoming". We don't know how much information you've asked for or what he has given. Regardless, spending lots of time in eH communications (in eH itself, or in email) is just "pretend". It's no substitute for interacting in person.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  May 2,2010, 12:22am
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You can always make an e-mail "throw away account" if you feel uneasy giving your matches your regular e-mail address. There are so many I'm sure you can locate one to open an e-dating only account.

I also agree with Melman on not staying in eH open communication too long. It is a killer.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  May 2,2010, 5:47am
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Melman and AndieIsMe both have good ideas. However if the extent of his eHarmony communication has been "I hope to get to know you better" and "nice getting to know you on EH" then this would be big RED flags to me and I would just close.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #5  May 2,2010, 6:03am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
You can always make an e-mail "throw away account" if you feel uneasy giving your matches your regular e-mail address. There are so many I'm sure you can locate one to open an e-dating only account.

I also agree with Melman on not staying in eH open communication too long. It is a killer.
I agree with this too, and would like to add that some people are not good at communicating through emails anyway, so take that into account. You will find out what you need to know fast enough if you give him a throw away address..... just do it and see what happens, make your judgement from there.

Some people are too fast to see red flags and close others out IMHO, what we all need to remember is that different people communicate differently. Or, maybe more to the point, give them enough rope and if they are the wrong ones for you they will hang themselves anyway.

Good luck, and let us know what happens......

Lilycat
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  May 2,2010, 10:01am
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What is the issue here?

If you're interested in the guy, give him an email address. Geez.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #7  May 2,2010, 10:06am
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melman wrote :
What is your goal? If you think you may be interested in the guy, ask to meet him. And do so without giving away an outside email address or a phone number or anything else that you really need to keep private.
I would never agree to meet someone without getting her phone number (and talking to her) first.

Without a number, how am I going to let her know if something comes up that delays or prevents me from getting to the meeting?

Having the phone number dramatically increases the odds that she will show up and isn't sending me on a wild goose chase.

A brief phone call before meeting helps weed out those who can't carry on a conversation.

Plus being willing to meet but not give a phone number tells me someone has her priorities mixed up or is too paranoid for me to waste time on.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  May 2,2010, 10:09am
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Throwaway email is a good idea. What's the analog for throwaway phone? Without actually buying a throwaway phone? Didn't EH have a "secure call" feature? Is that still there? Where you can phone without giving your actual number out?

Lots of questions!
 
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melman is offline melman Post #9  May 2,2010, 10:19am
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As I have written in other threads, after a few failed "pen-pal" matches, I changed my approach to OC by clearly stating my intention to meet in the very first message. I ended up meeting every one of those matches after 1 or 2 more OC messages, at most. None insisted on a phone call... it just never came up at all. And all the meetings went just fine. Some led to a second meeting, and some did not.

For what it's worth.
 
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iamgermajesty is offline iamgermajesty Post #10  May 2,2010, 10:23am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
Throwaway email is a good idea. What's the analog for throwaway phone? Without actually buying a throwaway phone? Didn't EH have a "secure call" feature? Is that still there? Where you can phone without giving your actual number out?

Lots of questions!
If you have a Skype account, you can make calls to landlines by adding Skype credit. It shows up as an unidentified number.

Or you can do #67 or whatever on your phone that makes your number show up as private.

Not sure how someone would call you back - unless you went the Tracfone/prepaid route.

Or stop thinking everyone is out to get you and just give out your phone number. Granted, some people give off a weird vibe, but if you're not comfortable giving them your phone number, why are you comfortable meeting them in person?
 
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