We met we seemed attracted we are texting but nothing else


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adrianae is offline adrianae Post #1  May 1,2010, 4:10pm
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I received a flexible match and we went through the levels of communication very quickly, e-mailed and spoke on the phone a few times over the course of a week. This was not planned it just flowed.
We met a week later. It was my first time doing this and I was incredibly nervous but as time went by more calm and relaxed. We agreed we would like to get together again.
My work schedule is hectic and so is his. The texts and couple of phone calls continue this past week but not as often as in the beginning.
My friends that live by the RULES have said hang in there a little longer and write him off if you have no date next week. I am unsure a part of me just wants to know what gives. Why the thoughtful, flirty calls but nothing else.
I want to ask - do I or do I just move on? When I close him do I owe an explanation? I am new to eHarmony and so unsure if this is the right venue for me to meet a guy.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  May 1,2010, 5:09pm
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he didnt ask you out again? is that because of your schedules or what?

if you've only met once then it would be kinda strange to inquire "what gives" or something similar

just continue to date others and live life
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  May 1,2010, 6:05pm
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First quit with the texting!!! If you want to talk then call.

I have to ask who is initiating all the calls? If he is always initiating the calls then he is going to interpret a lack of interest on your part. If you are always calling him then he is not interested.

Even though you thought the first date went well and you both said that you wanted to get together again, actually getting a second date is rare.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  May 1,2010, 8:13pm
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Why isn't someone on these calls bringing up the fact that you've agreed to meet again and trying to schedule that?

When I say "someone" I mean "you".

That's the most important thing you should be talking about now.
 
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adrianae is offline adrianae Post #5  May 3,2010, 9:40pm
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He did ask me out but we do live 45 miles away and you add where I work it comes to 70 miles away. I told him my week was hectic.
He initiated the calls and most of them. I am guilty of not being the initiator.
I have stopped texting and so has he.
I will call and give it one last chance. He is not the type I would normally date but I do like his personality and want to give it a chance.
Thank you all for your responses.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  May 4,2010, 9:48am
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70 miles is no big deal unless neither of you has a car. It's not like it's 700 or 7000 miles.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  May 4,2010, 11:48am
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So actually he did ask you out for a 2nd date but you said no because of the distance and you're busy? Is that accurate?

He probably thinks you're not interested. I think you're not interested. !

If you are interested, call him and set up a date! Good luck!
 
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zeutheir520 is offline zeutheir520 Post #8  May 5,2010, 7:52am
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If you're interested, let him know and tell him you want to plan to see each other again.

Never listen to any of your friends playing by any sort of "rules" ever again on this subject. Games don't work and only hurt people. It's rules like these that discourage people from dating and lead to so many broken hearts and confused minds.
 
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adrianae is offline adrianae Post #9  May 5,2010, 7:40pm
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He asked about having dinner. I said that would be great but that I had a busy work week ahead. Yes, I did add the distance. I now realize that I may have made it seem like I was not interested.
I am willing to give it a chance and I called and had to leave a voice mail message. Now I will wait and see what happens.
Thanks for the advice.
 
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