profile review? thanks in advance !!;)


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fireflynaps is offline fireflynaps Post #1  April 30,2010, 6:26am
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Hi everyone, I'd love it if you could give me brutal honesty here.. I'm new to eharmony... thanks!

ann,
age: 36 var profilePhotoList = [{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5HZQ98QAUyQoN9qth%2BD9ZaIxiW KyseZ8V5Dsvbi%2BBM2dw%3D%3D',width: '200',height: '200',caption: '',index: '1'},{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5HZQ98QAUyQoN9qth%2BD9ZaIPda DatQ9x78NbBsgp9s69A%3D%3D',width: '200',height: '150',caption: '',index: '2'},{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5HZQ98QAUyQoN9qth%2BD9ZaIhM0 FLR5n%2BqgUp22WUTqcoQ%3D%3D',width: '133',height: '200',caption: '',index: '3'}]; var iconPhotoList = [{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5EkjSdIwEmsLHKQdVyhFyczWN0Ok au8HnUPDlvDgYASwQ%3D%3D',width: '40',height: '40',caption: '',index: '1'},{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5EkjSdIwEmsLHKQdVyhFyczYvkhA LdeJgPoQNnEuJy2Ww%3D%3D',width: '40',height: '30',caption: '',index: '2'},{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5EkjSdIwEmsLHKQdVyhFycz2RyJB NRCNvqpugX4q9WZjg%3D%3D',width: '26',height: '40',caption: '',index: '3'}]; var normalPhotoList = [{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5EBlBEEDprhDt7HbJVWzAMUyfVyc mnb8wA%3D',width: '200',height: '200',caption: '',index: '1'},{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5EBlBEEDprhDsuskW60vZS8015mU CodKIk%3D',width: '604',height: '453',caption: '',index: '2'},{url: 'http://photos.eharmony.com/photos/servlet?s=%2F6xVgHdchvEBLRyV7EW42lh7AZF4k9wztP3OxR eaf0rimSxBQOYeLhtvoz69gay3JVF2JnVSs0pY%0AA7e%2BjQG KC4EOCLzNwqysWNhLJjYmK5EBlBEEDprhDh5jGld985HCXsQG7 hqU3tE%3D',width: '682',height: '1024',caption: '',index: '3'}];
The one thing ann is most passionate about:

I'm constantly stopping to take the time to see the beauty in things, and anything that allows me to be creative and active. I'm also focused on being the best friend and mother I can be.


The most important thing ann is looking for in a person is: A positive attitude.... and I don't mean Pollyanna-ish. Just someone who realizes that life will throw every curveball, so you've got to at least find a silver lining sometimes.

Basic Information
Occupation: sales Age: 36 Height: 5' 7" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: Yes
Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic Religion: Spiritual, but not religious Drinks: About once a week Smokes: Never

In my own words
The most influential person in ann's life has been:

My aunt, she's shown me resilience and patience to a level I didn't know was possible.


The three things which ann is most thankful for:
  • My daughter.
  • Peanut Butter (yeah, I know..!)
  • Life- it's funny.

Three of ann's best life-skills are:
  • Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
  • Making art and culture an ongoing part of my life
  • Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things


The one thing ann wishes MORE people would notice about her is:
Um, that my career doesn't really define me. I work to live, not the other way around.


The things ann can't live without are:
  • coffee
  • my friends (I'm sure everyone says this?)
  • music
  • culture/art ...oops, that's 2
  • red wine


The first thing people notice about ann is:
This is a weird question to think about.. but I've been told it's how I carry myself. Not overly confident, just that I carry myself "well". Whatever that means..


Some additional information ann wanted you to know is:
You should know I am divorced, however very amicably. I have an amazing 18 month-old daughter from my marriage, and her father is very involved in her life. We have a great working relationship.


My interests
ann typically spends her leisure time:

I love to travel when possible, otherwise I love to enjoy the outdoors (hiking, walking...) and share good times with friends- cook dinner, have wine & hang out. My daughter keeps me on my toes, so I really value my "leisure time"..

The last book ann read and enjoyed:
"Infidel" By Ayaan Hirsi Ali... about her struggle to fight for the rights for Muslim women, ultimately escaping from a forced marriage and Islam extremists. She is my hero.


According to my friends:
ann's friends describe her as:
  • Easy-Going
  • Thoughtful
  • Genuine
  • Good Listener
Last edited by fireflynaps; May 1,2010 at 9:11am.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  April 30,2010, 6:43am
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Yeowza!
 
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Kwinter99 is offline Kwinter99 Post #3  April 30,2010, 6:54am
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Sounds like alot of other profiles. Nothing glaring.
 
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truthaboutcupid is offline truthaboutcupid Post #4  April 30,2010, 7:17am
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1st thing: You are very attractive. That is a good picture. Hopefully it is recent b/c both men and women need to brace themselves for a letdown later if they use "old" photos.

2: Yes, this comment is very shallow, but true. Having a pic with a full body shot to show you are more fit than not usually helps. I know, I had to say it. Sorry ladies.

3: Love the Peanut Butter comment. It shows variety and humor. If there is anything about these profiles that stinks, it is that they are all the same--(family, friends and health)--for most thankful and you amplified that sentiment with your comment after "my friends". I always look for something more unique than the standard, boring answers.

4: You are upfront about the divorce and the "terms" for the most part which is great. The only worry I have (yes, this is just one 34-yr old man's view) with divorced women is 1-if they are completely over ever getting back together with their ex and 2-if they take ownership of the things THEY (not him) did poorly to make the marriage not last the first time around. Personal responsibility is very important in any failed relationship and no one wants to hear blame only going one way because a guy who may be interested in marrying you, won't want to be your divorce #2. Just a suggestion to amplify what you already have written about your divorce. I don't think any relationship ends "amicably" though or else it wouldn't end haha. But I think I know what you meant. You aren't having coffee dates with him and hanging out as buddies still?

5: "I love to travel" Doesn't everyone? Where specifically? The only reason people don't travel more is because of limited MONEY and VACATION TIME. If we had all the time and money in the world, we'd all be traveling.

Ok, that was brutal haha. Try using your humor more (like "ooops, that's 2"). These profiles get so boring that really the only thing that separates you from someone else is your pictures. And have more than one picture. It sets you up for the best chance in finding someone. Yes, most people simply click on the pictures and move-on but having something more unique in the profile also helps. Good luck, I'm sure you will meet some good people.
 
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fireflynaps is offline fireflynaps Post #5  April 30,2010, 7:33am
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thank you, truthaboutcupid.

-yes, this is a recent photo. (5 months ago) and my profile pic on this advice site is from 3 weeks ago. I thought it would be better to only use recent pics because there's nothing I hate worse then meeting someone and realizing they don't look like their pics.

-and I struggled with the full body shot. - there is one in my other profile pics- although this one is not attempting to show anything- except what I look like "in general". It's from farther away and I'm facing away from the camera. . yes, I don't think men should care, but I know they do, so there you have it.
besides. I've worked hard to stay somewhat in shape. :P


-thx for the honesty about the travel. I think I'll change it to "when I travel I like to go... _____

-also- try to add more humor in, so my quirky personality shows up a little more....
again, thanks for the help!
-ann
Last edited by fireflynaps; April 30,2010 at 7:53am. Reason: adding photo links
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  April 30,2010, 7:44am
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I think it looks really good..it's not trite and appears very honest.
that is a great picture, too...

I don't think the "I like to travel" comment is bad at all.

I know people who DON'T like to travel...some people are homebodies...period.
I think you should keep it in, but just expand on it a bit more, as you said.

I would also expand on your aunt's story a bit, as it would show specifically why you admire her so much.
What makes her so resilent?
 
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fireflynaps is offline fireflynaps Post #7  April 30,2010, 9:53am
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thank u "the thinker" .. and re truthaboutcupid's comment re my divorce...

I was hoping to show that I'm just trying to be as upfront as possible, so my matches understand that my daughter does have an involved father... and hopefully I want to show that even though we're divorced, it's not going to be WW III if they were in a relationship with me... not a lot of ex drama.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  April 30,2010, 9:58am
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That is a great photo! I don't think it matters what you put in your profile; witness Tweet's comment. LOL!

However. If it matters to you ... it's a little generic. Since you are new to EH you probably have not read many profiles? They blur together after awhile. It's beneficial to make yours stand out and be memorable.

Ways to do that are:
- give examples of qualities you claim, rather than just claiming them. E.g. "taking the time to see the beauty in things" ... nearly everyone likes to do that. Give an example ... "I was stopped in my tracks by the rainbow over the gorge just yesterday" or whatever.
- include unusual facts about yourself. The additional info or leisure activities sections can be used for this. E.g. "I won state championship in track in high school and still like to run" or whatever.
- give a little more detail. E.g. your aunt showed you patience and resilience ... either how she did that, or why it helped you, ... something.

In general, get more specific.

Also be aware that EH uses keywords from profiles as part of its matching algorithm, so any qualities or interests you'd like to see in your matches' profiles ... put them in yours.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #9  April 30,2010, 10:38am

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fireflynaps wrote :
Hi everyone, I'd love it if you could give me brutal honesty here.. I'm new to eharmony... thanks!
Ann. I looked over your profile briefly, and after seeing the picture I imagine any problem you may be having would be a result of your intimidating beauty.

I scanned through what you wrote and didn't see anything that would stop a normal man from contacting you. (with the possible exception of being a mother to a baby)

If you were matched with me I would have attempted communication. My only negative thoughts about your profile would be along the lines of "wow, this lady is really beautiful and doesn't seem obviously crazy, I can already see the 'closed reason: Other' coming from someone like her."
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  April 30,2010, 10:57am
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hankscorpio wrote :
Ann. I looked over your profile briefly, and after seeing the picture I imagine any problem you may be having would be a result of your intimidating beauty.
Smooth...
 
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