Have you ever asked/been asked the "premarital sex" question?


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MPdoc68 is offline MPdoc68 Post #1  April 29,2010, 6:03pm
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I subscribe to a policy of answering a match's questions honestly and never "telling them what I think they may want to hear". That's a waste of time, IMO.

Rarely is it ever an issue, but recently I was asked the "premaritial sex" question (one I very seldom see) by a match (details to follow later in this discussion). I couldn't help but wonder:

Why would someone choose that question right off the bat?
and...since she did, does this mean what I suspect it does mean?

Tell me your thoughts and I'll tell you more of the story...
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  April 29,2010, 6:14pm
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MPdoc68 wrote :
Why would someone choose that question right off the bat?
and...since she did, does this mean what I suspect it does mean?
I think there's a good chance that this means what you think if means (say that 3 times fast, lol). If she's asking you this early on it likely means this is an important topic for her.....probably meaning that she is against premarital sex.

I can't remember if I've been asked this question, but I asked my current gf her attitude toward it. I asked her because she seemed quite reserved with regard to physical intimacy and I wanted to know if I should expect a long wait or not.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  April 29,2010, 6:18pm
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* taps finger waiting for the "I'll tell you more" part.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  April 29,2010, 6:20pm
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livenlearn wrote :
* taps finger waiting for the "I'll tell you more" part.
He wants you to show him yours before he'll show you his.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  April 29,2010, 6:22pm
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When I was on eharmony I always asked it. How they answered it depended on whether or not I would close them. Just answer honestly!
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  April 29,2010, 6:26pm
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Is this a standard eharmony question? I've never noticed it or been asked it.

I'd answer honestly, that I consider sex to be part of a healthy relationship, regardless of marital status. I would hope the "no sex til marriage" types would close me based on that- would save us lots of time.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #7  April 29,2010, 6:30pm
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jayjay wrote :
He wants you to show him yours before he'll show you his.
Ummm, errrr, since when does the word "tell" also mean "show"?

Dont make me biff ya.

*goes back to tapping finger impatiently.
 
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serrith is offline serrith Post #8  April 29,2010, 6:31pm
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MPdoc68 wrote :
I subscribe to a policy of answering a match's questions honestly and never "telling them what I think they may want to hear". That's a waste of time, IMO.

Rarely is it ever an issue, but recently I was asked the "premaritial sex" question (one I very seldom see) by a match (details to follow later in this discussion). I couldn't help but wonder:

Why would someone choose that question right off the bat?
and...since she did, does this mean what I suspect it does mean?

Tell me your thoughts and I'll tell you more of the story...
I am a guy so I can't speak from a female perspective, but I suspect she is a virgin with a religious beleifs against having sex before marriage.
I myself am a virgin and to me this is one of the biggest questions on my mind during the entire dating process. In her mind she is probably worried that not wanting to have sex prior to marriage may end the relationship at some point. From her perspective I would imagine that it makes the most sense to get the question out of the way immediately rather than finding out much later on.

If dating someone who wants to stay a virgin is a problem, you should consider the following:
Many virgins see being sexual and sex as separate. The idea being that one can be sexual and not have the text book definition of sex - thus maintaining their virginity.
 
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raerae178 is offline raerae178 Post #9  April 29,2010, 6:39pm
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Nanette wrote :
When I was on eharmony I always asked it. How they answered it depended on whether or not I would close them. Just answer honestly!
I have never been asked that question yet and have never asked it.


If you don't mind me asking...what about the answer would make you close them or keep them? Is it because you were against it, for it or just one of the questions that the answer would give underlying clues to other things???


For example, I ask the "If you were taken to a party where you knew no one" question sometimes not because I'm planning on taking them to lots of parties but because I think the answer gives a little insight into how they may respond to uncomfortable social situations.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  April 29,2010, 6:41pm
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serrith wrote :
Many virgins see being sexual and sex as separate. The idea being that one can be sexual and not have the text book definition of sex - thus maintaining their virginity.
I really don't get that. I mean, someone could be a prostitute and still technically be a virgin. But what meaning does it have?
 
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