Sent questions, they viewed my profile, nothing. Close them out?


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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #1  April 29,2010, 8:10am
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several times now, in my mere week of being an eharmony member - I have sent the first communication to a match that appealed to me. i can see where he has opened my profile to look at my details, and doesn't respond to the questions.

a few have even re-opened my profile on subsequent days and still don't bother to answer my questions/communicate with me.

should I close them? why would a guy open my profile on multiple days and not bother to communicate other than just not being interested?

I guess they don't realize that each time they open my profile it moves their viewing of my profile to that day's date. so frustrating!

what do you guys recommend I do in these situations?

also, can guys who aren't paying members still view my profile? could that be the situation? Or can they not see my profile? I was trying to hold out to the next free communication weekend in case that was the situation with a few of these guys. (A couple of them are especially appealing and I'd really like the chance to talk to them!)
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  April 29,2010, 8:34am
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readytodate wrote :
several times now, in my mere week of being an eharmony member - I have sent the first communication to a match that appealed to me. i can see where he has opened my profile to look at my details, and doesn't respond to the questions.

a few have even re-opened my profile on subsequent days and still don't bother to answer my questions/communicate with me.
wrote :
should I close them? why would a guy open my profile on multiple days and not bother to communicate other than just not being interested?
that's entirely up to you, but you've only been on a week. the reason people look at your profile and not respond? probably looking at other options, just like everyone else does...

wrote :
I guess they don't realize that each time they open my profile it moves their viewing of my profile to that day's date. so frustrating!
Why is that so frustrating??

wrote :
what do you guys recommend I do in these situations?
well, relax a bit for starters....you're brand new to the site.....it's a marathon, not a sprint.

wrote :
also, can guys who aren't paying members still view my profile? could that be the situation? Or can they not see my profile?
I know they can't see your photos...don't know about your profile, though...

wrote :
I was trying to hold out to the next free communication weekend in case that was the situation with a few of these guys. (A couple of them are especially appealing and I'd really like the chance to talk to them!)
Sounds like a plan. Why not...
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #3  April 29,2010, 8:41am
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thanks, thinker!!! I appreciate your fast response. I guess I don't want to be their fallback. as in, "well, if I don't get anyone better looking or more appealing, I GUESS I could talk to this woman..." I like to be wanted a little more than that would suggest.

but if they can't see my pictures as a non-paying member, that would explain why they might be holding back. at least worth waiting for the next free communication weekend to see if I hear from them then.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  April 29,2010, 9:28am
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Why is everyone in such a hurry to close a match that did not respond in the first 10 minutes???

It costs you nothing to leave a match open.
 
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Andifer is offline Andifer Post #5  April 29,2010, 10:33am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Why is everyone in such a hurry to close a match that did not respond in the first 10 minutes???

It costs you nothing to leave a match open.
As said you don't want to feel like a back up option.If she does't instantly look at me and think 'oh wow' and nearly sprain her wrist in the speed of her effort to message me then clearly she's not committed enough...
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #6  April 29,2010, 10:43am

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readytodate wrote :
several times now, in my mere week of being an eharmony member - I have sent the first communication to a match that appealed to me. i can see where he has opened my profile to look at my details, and doesn't respond to the questions.

a few have even re-opened my profile on subsequent days and still don't bother to answer my questions/communicate with me.

should I close them? why would a guy open my profile on multiple days and not bother to communicate other than just not being interested?

I guess they don't realize that each time they open my profile it moves their viewing of my profile to that day's date. so frustrating!

what do you guys recommend I do in these situations?

also, can guys who aren't paying members still view my profile? could that be the situation? Or can they not see my profile? I was trying to hold out to the next free communication weekend in case that was the situation with a few of these guys. (A couple of them are especially appealing and I'd really like the chance to talk to them!)
They're probably just free members. Leave them until the next free communication weekend and see if they respond was always my policy.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #7  April 29,2010, 11:19am
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I agree that leaving it open is a good option.

You really can't imagine the number of possible reasons why someone does not move forward.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  April 29,2010, 11:35am
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Non-paying members can see your profile.

Just leave it open, who knows what will happen. When you're a new member you get a lot of matches. That slows down later and you might find yourself looking again at your backups! LOL.

Anyway, who cares if you were someone's backup, or they were yours, if eventually you meet and it's the love of your life?
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #9  April 29,2010, 6:01pm
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Andifer wrote :
As said you don't want to feel like a back up option.If she does't instantly look at me and think 'oh wow' and nearly sprain her wrist in the speed of her effort to message me then clearly she's not committed enough...
Your joking about the back up option right? Tell me thats a joke.
 
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Mr79percent is offline Mr79percent Post #10  April 29,2010, 6:19pm
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livenlearn wrote :
Your joking about the back up option right? Tell me thats a joke.
To be honest...I've never had a match answer questions more than 48 hours after I know she looked at them. Individual results may vary, but my experience is that they just aren't interested. Even those that answered 24 hrs later fizzled. It takes 2 minutes to answer 5 MC questions, especially mine since I like to avoid personal questions right off the bat.
 
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