what do y'all make of this?


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goldengirl7676 is offline goldengirl7676 Post #1  April 28,2010, 11:58am
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Was matched with a guy in another state and he viewed my profile multiple times over a period of 10 days, but never initiated communication. I thought his profile seemed interesting enough, so I decided to send him some questions. Usually it is the guys who've made the first move w/me, though I sometimes start things off. Anyway, I sent him my first set of questions and he responded almost immediately with a request to go straight to eH mail. His first message to me was:

you are a beautiful girl and i like your profile but (name of my city) is a long way from (his city).....you must find me really interesting ;-)

Less than 24 hours later, I get this message:

so what the deal hot stuff?.....you just accept my email with no reply?....have you ever been to (his city)

Maybe this guy is just trying to be cute and clever with his words, but something about his messages is a little off-putting to me. He viewed my profile multiple times but made no attempt to contact me. And when I contacted him, he immediately replied and did not even give me a chance to reply back before sending another message that was a little impatient-sounding. Not sure what to make of it.

 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  April 28,2010, 12:08pm

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Hi Goldengirl7676 –

24 hours isn’t a long time for him to wait. It could be, however, that he is perplexed by getting the message that you accepted his eHarmony Mail and didn’t write back. We do get those inquiries and explain to people that it’s normal to have the time to accept a message and read it yet not have the time to reply right away.

At the same time, he is very forward in assuming your level of interest and using pretty flirtatious language. There’s nothing implicitly wrong with that; everyone has their own style of communication. But it’s more about how you feel – do you feel uncomfortable with this? Maybe how you feel should serve as an indicator to you on how to proceed. You probably have read our Safety Tips, but there’s no harm in reading them again. I find it interesting that some of them do emphasize not just your match’s behavior, but how it makes you feel:

http://www.eharmony.com/safety/tips

All the best,

~Kate
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  April 28,2010, 12:18pm
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It is a little unusual to do this....my first thought when reading was he may have viewed your profile because he used it to launch into the eharmony system

You replied to him so he was very forward.

I would never call a stranger "hot stuff".


Just communicate with him at your own pace....if no interest you can close him
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  April 28,2010, 12:22pm
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Hot stuff??

Kate's being kind..

simply put, the guy's a jerk...either that, or perhaps he's mixed up emails between you and someone else in the time that he's posted them.


Nah...he's a jerk.
Last edited by eHA_Admin_Lori; April 28,2010 at 2:21pm. Reason: edited to remove masked obscenity - replacement word in italics
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  April 28,2010, 12:25pm
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I'd move on. He sounds like an impatient child.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #6  April 28,2010, 12:33pm
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Maybe he's just trying to be funny. Remember, humor is many times lost over email and misconstrued.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  April 28,2010, 12:53pm
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Dafearon wrote :
Maybe he's just trying to be funny. Remember, humor is many times lost over email and misconstrued.
If a guy says to you in an email...someone you've never, ever met..
So what's the deal hot stuff...when you comin to my city??
Chances are, he's a jerk.
Last edited by eHA_Admin_Lori; April 28,2010 at 2:16pm. Reason: edited to remove masked obscenity; replacement word in italics
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #8  April 28,2010, 1:54pm
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TheThinker wrote :
If a guy says to you in an email...someone you've never, ever met..
So what's the deal hot stuff...when you comin to my city??
Chances are, he's a jerk.
That is my point. Chances. Not definitely, chances. Everything online is chance. Its a possibility he was trying to be sarcastic. My humor can translate online exactly like this email, but I know thats how it can translate, so i don't go there. In person, it may be totally different. Or, it maybe exactly what you think he is.

Now, would if i was the OP, would i spend money to meet this guy, probably not. But if he was close, why not, unless he continues to place foot in mouth.
Last edited by eHA_Admin_Lori; April 28,2010 at 2:17pm. Reason: edited to remove masked obscenity in quoted post
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #9  April 28,2010, 2:39pm
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Dafearon wrote :
That is my point. Chances. Not definitely, chances. Everything online is chance. Its a possibility he was trying to be sarcastic. My humor can translate online exactly like this email, but I know thats how it can translate, so i don't go there.
and that's exactly MY point...you don't go there...he did.

wrote :
Now, would if i was the OP, would i spend money to meet this guy, probably not. But if he was close, why not, unless he continues to place foot in mouth.

ya see, I don't let my wallet be the factor in who I express an interest in.
maybe that's just me...I'm a different breed of cat.
Last edited by TheThinker; April 28,2010 at 2:44pm.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #10  April 28,2010, 3:49pm
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TheThinker wrote :
and that's exactly MY point...you don't go there...he did.


ya see, I don't let my wallet be the factor in who I express an interest in.
maybe that's just me...I'm a different breed of cat.
I don't go there because of experience and these boards. This guy may not have that experience and he's flying blind. This guy could have been me when i was young.

I'm just giving him the benefit of the doubt. He could be exactly what everyone expects, OR he could really be a nice guy who just stuck his foot in his mouth. The chances are high that this guy is exactly what you think he is. That's why if its not too much of an inconvenience, check him out, but just don't go out of your way to satisfy that curiosity.
 
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