silver6 is offline silver6 Post #1  April 28,2010, 10:01am
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is at home.

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I have responded to most of my matches, even the ones without photos. It's been more than two weeks for many and I have not had a response and they have not closed me out. I'm a newbie and not sure about the hows and whens. What is the next step, especially if you would really like to communicate with a specific woman?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  April 28,2010, 10:30am
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Just what you want to be...you will be in the end

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Two weeks is enough time, IMO. Sure some may have gone on vacay, but most...not likely.
I say close and move on. You can nudge them if you want, but it never really worked for me.
YMMV.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #3  April 28,2010, 1:07pm
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Wait until at least one Free Communication Weekend has come and gone. Most of your matches will be non-paying members, and they can communicate only during these periods.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #4  April 28,2010, 6:43pm
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Most of your matches are Not Really There. They are free members that never joined, or old subscribers whose membership ended long, long ago.

In my experience of over 2 years on the site, I estimated that only about 1/3 of the matches I was given were active on the site (viewing their matches). So fewer than that were paying customers, able to respond to communications.

There are two schools of thought about how to deal with this dirty little secret. One is to contact all your matches, and then to absolutely forget about them until they reply. The approach I preferred (and the approach that makes it possible to guess at how many matches are active) is to wait until a match views you before sending the First Questions.

Most new users (myself included) want to "really communicate with a specific woman". But that's not how the system works. You can only communicate with matches that are paying and active at the same time as you.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  April 28,2010, 6:56pm

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Hi Silver6,

Another thought – have you seen them viewing your profile and have you tried various methods of communicating like sending Guided Communication questions, sending Icebreakers and/or sending an eHarmony Mail message? It’s also possible that different matches respond to different things.

If you feel comfortable, you’re welcome to post your profile and get feedback on it. The Advice members are really excellent at critiquing.
One last suggestion – you might get some ideas from the articles on our Using eHarmony article section: Online dating tips : eHarmony Advice

We’d love to help you meet someone special!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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