qp106sd is offline qp106sd Post #1  April 28,2010, 6:01am
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Between all the people who aren't active subscribers, the new feature that leaves you in the archive limbo of unknown and the guys that just don't log in or care... etc...

How long should I wait to close out a guy that I requested communication with?

Personally I think 72 hours is acceptable. If you're an active subscriber you probably log in once a day or every other day... but I'd like to know from y'all what you think or how you do it... any thoughts?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  April 28,2010, 6:16am
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qp106sd wrote :
Between all the people who aren't active subscribers, the new feature that leaves you in the archive limbo of unknown and the guys that just don't log in or care... etc...

How long should I wait to close out a guy that I requested communication with?

Personally I think 72 hours is acceptable. If you're an active subscriber you probably log in once a day or every other day... but I'd like to know from y'all what you think or how you do it... any thoughts?
For me, it depends on what day the communication started.
During the beginning of the week, I give people more leeway.

(But, if I was your age, and I saw your photo...I'd contact you right away. ...so maybe, you're right.)
 
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qp106sd is offline qp106sd Post #3  April 28,2010, 6:38am
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Aww thanks Thinker You're too kind.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #4  April 28,2010, 7:32am
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Here is my experience: when I was a paid subscriber, I was matched with a man who looked extremely interesting to me. I sent him First Questions. I waited for... oh, I think 2 or 3 weeks before finally sending a nudge. (This was while trying to contact other matches, too.) Still, nothing. Then I decided to try his preferred means of contact, which at the time was called Fast Track. To make a long story short, it turns out that he was a non-paying member, he was traveling in an exotic locale at the time of our matching, and it took more than a month for us to establish contact.

We're still "together" (long distance) about 9 months after his profile appeared among my matches.

Make of that what you will, and good luck, no matter what tack you pursue!
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #5  April 28,2010, 8:09am

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Hi qp106sd,

Glad you've already gotten encouragement from members to give your matches more than 72 hours!

I certainly understand your thinking -- if someone is serious about their search, they'll be checking their profile every few days at minimum. But there are many legitmate exceptions to that rule.

In fact, I recently heard from an Advice member who was hopeful about a match. A match requested communication with her. Though she is a paying member, she didn't respond right away. But he was patient, kept the match open, and they just had a great 1st date!

The eHarmony reccomendation is to err on the side of patience and give a match 7 days to respond to a communication request. Still no response? Send a nudge and give your match another 7 days. If, after that time, still no response, you may choose to close the match. But if you are really interested in a match, as Iconography was with her special match, you may opt to keep the match open even longer.

The thing is, if you keep a match open longer than you would normally care to and they still don't respond, ultimately no harm done. But closing communication with matches after only a few days, can mean many missed opportunities to meet some great matches, and meeting great matches is why you came to eHarmony in the first place; right?

All the best,

Renee
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  April 28,2010, 9:59am
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72 hours is way too short. As Icon experienced it can take a while for people to get back to reality and their computers. There is no harm leaving a match open where you started communication.

Besides regular life there are other things that could come into the mix. Trips, illness, injury, family issues, payment issues. I am currently waiting to see if I can afford reupping my eH account. I have a very tight budget.

Leaving someone open won't hurt your matching or your computer so just leave them for a bit. You can also wait for the next FCW to see if they come back to life then.
 
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pragmatic is offline pragmatic Post #7  April 28,2010, 10:45am
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Have to agree that 72 hrs is too short of a time frame. Two of my matches take about a week to respond through all stages of GC.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  April 28,2010, 5:15pm
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Here it is once again.

I send First Questions to almost every match I receive on the day that I receive them. If they reply back great. I will then respond usually in 24 hours. If they don't respond then they will sit in the Communicating folder and any matches that do respond will be at the top of the list. Any new matches will also be going to the top of the list. Whenever I know that a FCW is coming up, on the day before it starts I will go through all the matches in my Communicating folder and send a Nudge to all that I can. Then after the FCW has ended (I will wait a day or two after) I will then go and close any matches that never communicated.

Some people only will log on to eHarmony on the weekend and then it may be that they will only log on on Saturday morning or maybe only Sunday night, check their weeks activity and respond to any in communication.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #9  April 28,2010, 6:55pm
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qp106sd wrote :
Personally I think 72 hours is acceptable.
You're assuming that the match is sitting home alone, waiting for you to contact them.

But many people have lives. Traveling for work and etc.

Others may have several match meetings already lined up in the next week or two, and aren't checking their eH account until the dust settles.

In theory, there's no reason to ever close a match. In practice, I usually did housecleaning and closed matches that had not replied in a month's time.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #10  April 29,2010, 5:44am
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Someone in another thread reports closing matches that respond too quickly.
 
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