Do men like women contacting them first?


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WomanDating is offline WomanDating Post #1  April 27,2010, 1:00pm
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This is a curiosity question as I've never received a straight reply from a man I've dated on EH on whether he likes it when a woman will make the first move and contact him first? Do women generally make the first move on EH? and if they do, men do you like it?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  April 27,2010, 1:07pm
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I wouldn't say generally women make the first move, but who knows...
I don't think EH has collected data on it either.
It doesn't bother me in the least.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  April 27,2010, 1:10pm
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eharmony doc says it doesnt matter etc etc. i think it depends on the kind of guy you are looking for. i say this a lot and i'm saying it again, because i believe that men know right away if they want to pursue you, that if you contact them you could be contacting someone that will just go along for the ride until someone "better" comes along. or you could be pursuing a guy that is shy and you might have to expect to do more of the initiating throughout.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #4  April 27,2010, 1:37pm

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WomanDating wrote :
This is a curiosity question as I've never received a straight reply from a man I've dated on EH on whether he likes it when a woman will make the first move and contact him first? Do women generally make the first move on EH? and if they do, men do you like it?
People seem to be split in this to one of two categories.

There are people like Nanette who say that no matter what you should never do anything and always make the man lead every part of a relationship.

There are also people like myself, who don't see anything wrong with a woman initiating contact at all, and in some cases you can "stand out from the crowd" by doing so. By initiating contact you show the guy that you're interested which is a confidence booster for him, and you also show that you're confident enough in yourself to be able to put yourself out there instead of placing yourself in a tower and waiting for a prince to fight his way through the briers to get to you.

You should give initiating a try. It's really not a big deal. At least on eH you already KNOW that the person is single/looking for a relationship.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #5  April 27,2010, 1:50pm
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I agree with Hank, and present the anecdotal evidence of my guy--a masculine, rugged, educated, liberal man--being flattered when I--a shy woman-contacted him.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #6  April 27,2010, 3:27pm
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I agree with Hank and I'll also add that if you're paying for a service, you should make full use of it.
 
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WomanDating is offline WomanDating Post #7  April 27,2010, 4:07pm
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Great responses, thanks so much for your advice as it really does help in the decision making process. Hank, I did feel like I was in a tower throwing down my long hair!

wrote :
I agree with Hank, and present the anecdotal evidence of my guy--a masculine, rugged, educated, liberal man--being flattered when I--a shy woman-contacted him
loved this Icon, that's my kinda guy. and I can be very shy at the beginning.

Another friend of mine suggested I get better pics too which should enhance my profile and be more of who I am today.

Thanks everyone.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  April 27,2010, 5:14pm
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hankscorpio wrote :
There are people like Nanette who say that no matter what you should never do anything and always make the man lead every part of a relationship.
this is incorrect, as i have stated numerous times before. its not my position, neither is it my personality. get over it already.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #9  April 27,2010, 5:37pm
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Nanette wrote :
this is incorrect, as i have stated numerous times before. its not my position, neither is it my personality. get over it already.
Oh, come on. Your position is to do as little as possible. You don't initiate, you don't pay, etc. If there was a way to have a date where you didn't actually have to show up, you'd do it.

If that's not your position, then what is it?
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #10  April 27,2010, 6:02pm

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Nanette wrote :
this is incorrect, as i have stated numerous times before. its not my position, neither is it my personality. get over it already.
Sorry if that's the case, however, I think you make a great strawman.
 
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