profile advice-please and thank you

The one thing Jeremy is most passionate about:

Pick one or maybe two concrete passions and expand on them. What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning?

I am very passionate about learning. I get really excited when I feel like I have learned something valuable.
What types of things do you like to learn about?

Another area that I am very passionate about is teaching. Teachers have made a big impact in my life and I figure it is a great way to help others.
Are you currently teaching any courses? Do you aspire to be a teacher? You mentioned teaching as a passion then continue with stating that you like teachers. That's great but try to stick to writing about what you love to do.

I am currently working on a music education degree and I devote a lot of my spare time to increasing my skills in this area. That is the one music degree that is capable of putting food on the table haha. Obviously I am also very passionate about music since that is what I am studying in college.
This may fit into the other information section.



The most important thing Jeremy is looking for in a person is:

I am looking for someone who can take the time to figure out where I am coming from and understand my perspective. In turn I will do that for them. I also think honesty is incredibly important.

You sound a bit unsure of yourself here. The first line may give the impression as if you are hard to get to know. Is this true?
What is the most important thing you are looking for in a person?

About Me
Basic Information

Occupation:
full time student
Age:
23
Height:
5' 6"
Wants Kids:
Maybe
Kids at Home:
No
Ethnicity:
White, non-Hispanic
Religion:
Neither religious nor spiritual
Drinks:
A few times a year
Smokes:
Never

In my own words
The most influential person in Jeremy's life has been:

Probably ( are you sure? ) Frank one of my instructors in Drum and Bugle Corp. He gave me a chance to prove myself when others wanted to cut me and after a lot of hard work I came through. The guy is also a master of his craft and one day I hope to be as good as him.
Maybe "My instructor Frank in Drum and Bugle Corp..."

The three things which Jeremy is most thankful for:

I am the most thankful for the people that have helped me overcome many of the challenges I have had to face.
I am thankful for my supportive family.
I am thankful for the opportunities I have been given.-anything specific?

Three of Jeremy's best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Achieving personal goals
Finding and taking on challenging activities

The one thing Jeremy wishes MORE people would notice about him is:

This is another one that varies from person to person. For the most part I wish people would notice that I really care about my future students and whomever I happen to be tutoring. I am pretty dorky so people tend to assume that I don't take anything seriously. If they saw how much time I spend trying to improve myself they would quickly abandon that assessment.

The things Jeremy can't live without are:

my euphonium, you probably don't know what that is
music - what type of music?
showers
cheese
the onion, it cracks me up why? describe the humour
The first thing people notice about Jeremy is:

That depends on the day of the week. Some people will notice that I am extremely energetic and a pretty big showman. Others will notice a very reserved person that sits quietly and gets their work done.

Some additional information Jeremy wanted you to know is:

I'm a pretty forgiving person. Everyone makes mistakes and I have certainly made my share. I don't put myself above anyone else.

Like I have said I am a pretty big dork... or so I am told, but I am okay with that. I am comfortable with who I am as a person.

I suppose you could also say that I am kind of a romantic person, but don't tell my friends that haha.
You could tighten this up a bit. You have a few separate ideas here.

My interests
Jeremy typically spends his leisure time:

Practicing my euphonium and reading about various topics - which topics ? which interest me are probably the two biggies. I also play the trombone now thanks to three teachers that told me I should do it. I have lost count of the amount of instruments I have played through the years. I think they are conspiring to get me to play for every single ensemble the school has. On the weekends I like to hang out with my friends - please expand on this. Everyone says :hang out with friends. What do you like to do? and play various nerdy games. - board games? What type of games?

The last book Jeremy read and enjoyed:

Freakonomics. I like the way the author went about trying to figure out certain cause and effect relationships. He searched for answers in places where a lot of people would never even think to look.

According to my friends:
Jeremy's friends describe him as:

Rational
Easy-Going
Thoughtful
Caring

Thank you for the advice. I was certainly looking for people to give me things that might be putting people off. I'll be sure to cut out the extra dork references and try to show what I do outside of music.

I would consider myself hard to get to know despite the fact that I am pretty open. That probably has to do with the fact that I am very multi dimensional. Is that something I should be more clear about or omit entirely?

I think what I was really getting at with the whole, "take the time where I am coming from" is good communication skills. I just don't want to say it in the generic way. I'll have to think about how I want to phrase that.