jcinaurora is offline jcinaurora Post #1  April 25,2010, 8:01am
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eHarmony has been a huge waste of my money. I'm lucky if I get 2-4 matches per month, and they stop communicating with no reason or notice. I have settings set more broadly than would allow for what I'm really looking for, so don't tell me I need to adjust settings. The commercials tell all the success stories but I'm sure there are so many more non-success stories.
 
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jensenf is offline jensenf Post #2  April 25,2010, 8:08am
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i agree. Try plenty of fish. It's free, you can write your own profile, there aren't stupid questions to answer and it's much more unscripted and natural. Matches are based on personality...then I guess my personality must be homely as that's all the matches I get or they don't have a picture. I cancelled and just do plenty of fish.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  April 25,2010, 8:38am
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2-4 matches a month is extremely low. Based off of what people here claim to receive daily, which is around 5-8

Just wondering if you took some of the advice given to you in your other thread completely disappointed?

I would usually suggest posting your profile for review, but since you aren't receiving a whole lot of matches, I don't believe that would help at this point.

I'm not familar with CO, so I don't know if your area has something to do with it.

You might want to consider contacting eH customer care. Retaking the questionnaire might help..

Here are a few articles that have helped some members in the past..
eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Personal Preferences

http://advice.eharmony.com/article/using-eharmony-exploring-the-no-way-setting.html
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 25,2010 at 8:52am.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  April 25,2010, 9:20am
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jcinaurora wrote :
eHarmony has been a huge waste of my money. I'm lucky if I get 2-4 matches per month, and they stop communicating with no reason or notice. I have settings set more broadly than would allow for what I'm really looking for, so don't tell me I need to adjust settings. The commercials tell all the success stories but I'm sure there are so many more non-success stories.
Being the devils advocate kind of guy I am I have to get snarky here and ask an obvious question. So how was whatever you were doing before joining eHarmony working for you? The obvious answer would be that it wasn't otherwise you would never have given eHarmony a try.

Looking up Aurora, CO I find that it is part of the Denver area and the greater metropolitan area has a sizable population. So getting only 2 to 4 matches per month would definitely seem to be extremely low.

Even though you say that your settings are more broad than what you are looking for I don't really know what that may be and you may have a huge long list of superficial requirements for your match. But I will assume that you do have your settings set broadly. So the next thing that would come to mind is that there is something wrong with the eHarmony system in understanding your search area. It is reasonably rare but I do know of it happening before where the system did not know where the person lived and so even though there were a lot of people in the search area they were never matched. So you may want to determine the names of all the towns and / or ZIP codes that fall in your search area and then contact Customer Care and make sure that those areas are actually being searched.

I also note that the demographics of your area is predominately younger than you are. This of course is not something that settings can solve.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  April 25,2010, 9:49am
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Did you have a question? or is this more just venting? Sorry it hasn't worked for you; nothing works for all people; perhaps online is not for you.

If you have more time on your subscription, you might want to call Customer Care and ask them to look at your account, your profile, your settings, etc. and see if they can identify why you're not getting more matches.
 
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Northern_Gal is offline Northern_Gal Post #6  April 25,2010, 11:03am
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hmm that doesn't sound right - I live in a much more remote area, in a small population centre (less than 10,000 people) in northern Canada, and I get quite a few more matches than that...although I have my distance settings quite broad - I would definitely try contacting customer service in this case.
 
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MiddleOfNowhere is offline MiddleOfNowhere Post #7  April 25,2010, 6:56pm
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I live in the middle of no where, and there will be the occassional day or two where I won't get any matches (then a pile of five to eight flexible matches...). I'm inclined to think settings. I've broadened then reduced my settings a few times when I think I'm not getting enough or too many ones I have no interest in.
 
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Matt1964 is offline Matt1964 Post #8  April 26,2010, 12:03pm
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jensenf wrote :
i agree. Try plenty of fish. It's free, you can write your own profile, there aren't stupid questions to answer and it's much more unscripted and natural. Matches are based on personality...then I guess my personality must be homely as that's all the matches I get or they don't have a picture. I cancelled and just do plenty of fish.
+1, this is very good advice, IMHO.

Another benefit to POF is that you know right away if a girl read your email, read and deleted, or didn't read it at all and simply deleted....bingo! You know RIGHT AWAY whether or not she is interested. You're on or you're off daddy-o!

With EH you get to send the silly 1st questions and wait around. And wait. And wait some more. Most of the time you don't hear anything back and they don't even bother to close you. You just wait a week or two and then close them to clear up your list. Now, with this absurd new "archive" feature, the situation has been made even worse because you can be put off into purgatory and REALLY have no idea what is going on. Yipee, THANKS EH!

Like the other poster wrote, another advantage to POF (or OKCupid) is that you can craft a vastly superior profile. For a man, this is KEY. EH's system practically ensures a lame profile for a guy. It makes it really tough to peacock your inner alpha male effectively, but that's easy to do on POF or OKCupid.

If you are a passive, beta guy who is uncomfortable emailing a lot of women and does not understand how to grab their attention to get read and how to do the follow up work for a phone #, and then ask them out instead of becoming an email pen pal, then EH could be a better way to go--a girl is more likely to just go off your pics (but that assumes you get matches which it sounds like you aren't). I get almost zilch here on EH, but go out 3-4 times per week with women I've met on POF + OKCupid and most are 5-15 (one was minus 20!) years younger and ALL are attractive. There is NO comparison, IMHO, in terms of results. I've just been back in the Seattle-area now for about 1 month and I am having the time of my life, thanks to POF and OKCupid. Nada off EH since I've been back here--not a good thing, especially given the high cost of EH.

To me the REASON for this is obvious: EH does NOT allow me to present my best selling features: ie my IQ and alpha personality. These are the things women find attractive about me so, logically, if they cannot see them then I'm not putting out my best shot. In other words, here I am wasting both my time and money. Were that not true then why are my results elsewhere vastly superior?

Women's primary social value comes from their looks, so for them on EH it is all about their pics. A girl with good pics up is GOING to get lots and lots of hits in her inbox--she just has to sift through the drek to find quality. I think for an attractive woman EH is a much, much better deal than it is for a man.

So, from the guy's perspective, EH just does not make a lot of sense unless one adopts an "I'll settle for" attitude, and who wants to do that, right? Isn't life way, way too short?

When my EH subscription expires I will not be renewing, why would I waste the money?
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #9  April 26,2010, 3:20pm
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Something must be wrong if you live in a suburban area and are only getting 2-4 matches a month. I often get more than that per day and am not in a large metro area.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  April 26,2010, 3:22pm
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Matt1964 wrote :
To me the REASON for this is obvious: EH does NOT allow me to present my best selling features: ie my IQ and alpha personality. These are the things women find attractive about me so, logically, if they cannot see them then I'm not putting out my best shot. In other words, here I am wasting both my time and money. Were that not true then why are my results elsewhere vastly superior?
Supposedly those 2 things would be factored into the matching process, and there are ways of mentioning them in your profile.

I agree with you on the communication process, especially now that it's been degraded with the archive/closed changes.
 
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