56Steve is offline 56Steve Post #1  April 24,2010, 2:12pm
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Has anyone else had this happen to them?

In May of 2009, I was matched during a free communication weekend with someone not far from where I live. I sent my first questions and was promptly closed out. Although I don't remember the reason, it wasn't, "Other," probably "I am pursuing another relationship." I sent a, "Good luck with your search" final message and moved on. In the meantime I met someone else and we're still seeing each other.

This past April 9, I received a message from EH that this person had answered my first set of questions! I had completely forgotten about her and wondered at first how this could be since my matching was turned off. It was my turn to return the favor, so I closed her out with the same, "I am pursuing another relationship" reason. She subsequently sent a, "Good luck with your search" final message.

I know I would not reopen a match after that much time had elapsed. To each his own, I suppose.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #2  April 24,2010, 2:44pm
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Why not?

Maybe at the time she was seeing someone, and had forgotten to turn off Matching?

Now that relationship has broken up, and she is revisiting some of the people she Closed because she was seeing that guy.

She picked you to restart communication, thinking you seemed like a nice guy, and liked your Profile.

I don't see anything wrong with this.
Granted, it is a tad unusual for it to be as long ago as it was...

But you know what?
There are plenty of Matches that have Closed me in the past, that I thought were really great Matches for me.
If they somehow regretted Closing me later on, I would be more than happy for them to Reopen me.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  April 24,2010, 3:15pm
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Even if she had closed you out with Other, does that mean she can't change her mind and want to chat with you now? I think you missed an opportunity.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #4  April 24,2010, 3:21pm
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I'd reopen, if the match's profile still seemed interesting to me. That early in the process, unless there had been some communication (other than the close!) that had turned me off, seems too soon to completely rule out someone.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  April 24,2010, 6:01pm
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ScottK wrote :
Why not?

Maybe at the time she was seeing someone, and had forgotten to turn off Matching?

Now that relationship has broken up, and she is revisiting some of the people she Closed because she was seeing that guy.

She picked you to restart communication, thinking you seemed like a nice guy, and liked your Profile.

I don't see anything wrong with this.
Granted, it is a tad unusual for it to be as long ago as it was...

But you know what?
There are plenty of Matches that have Closed me in the past, that I thought were really great Matches for me.
If they somehow regretted Closing me later on, I would be more than happy for them to Reopen me.
I would have to agree with this.

Since I am not now seeing anyone nor have any prospect of a first date in the foreseeable future if one of my matches wanted to re-open, even one of my very first matches, I would be happy to start communicating with them. I have 78 matches that are not communicating right now so even one from Mr. Peabody's Way Back Machine would be an improvement
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 24,2010, 6:04pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
Even if she had closed you out with Other, does that mean she can't change her mind and want to chat with you now? I think you missed an opportunity.
But the OP is in a relationship now.
 
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56Steve is offline 56Steve Post #7  June 10,2010, 4:40pm
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As I said, I've moved on and never gave it a second thought. And if I did make a mistake, so be it.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  June 10,2010, 4:44pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
But the OP is in a relationship now.
56Steve wrote :
As I said, I've moved on and never gave it a second thought. And if I did make a mistake, so be it.
I missed the part in the OP about being in a relationship. Makes me wonder why you are still on eH, however.
 
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