HELP! I don't get it. PROFILE REVIEW REQUESTED


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trugemini is offline trugemini Post #1  April 23,2010, 8:11pm
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Hello to all those who take a moment of their time to lend their wisdom! I don't get why I'm not getting more responses. I have reviewed, edited, and tweaked my profile many times but, often, I get a little overly religious sounding guys. While God fearing myself, to that type, I MIGHT even seem like a heathen! When I alter my profile to take out my own religious verbiage, I am not being honest and I get guys who don't seem very relationship oriented and maybe a bit superficial. IDK. Why do I have to be scared to use the SEX word in my profile? Anybody else feel same? Well, I just put it back today. I can't love God AND love......? Yep, I'm feeling rebellious. I also have a sense of humor but don't know if that translates to sound goofy and immature in my profile. I JUST NEED ADVICE!! Give it to me. I can take it - I think!! hahaha
Thanking you in advance!!!




View all 8 photos


The one thing Lawana is most passionate about: I am passionate about always trying to grow and develop as a person. I try to expose myself to a range of people and experiences to assist in that growth. I would LOVE to do much more traveling! The idea that I may only see certain places on the "Travel Channel" is terrible! I am also passionate about doing things in my life that help other people. I am very passionate in my relationships & stimulated by intelligence, sense of humor, confidence, humility, sensitivity, and emotional stability.


The most important thing Lawana is looking for in a person is: Loyalty and good character. I had to give 2!





Basic Information

Occupation: Academic Admissions Advisor Age: 39 Height: 5' 4" Wants Kids: Maybe Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: African-American Religion: Christian Drinks: About once a week Smokes: Never

In my own words

The most influential person in Lawana's life has been:

If you can believe it....probably an ex boyfriend.


The three things which Lawana is most thankful for:

  • My parents and upbringing.
  • Gods grace & blessings.
  • My health.

Three of Lawana's best life-skills are:

  • Being a good friend and companion
  • Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
  • Resolving conflict


The one thing Lawana wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

That I'm very playful! I'm not totally sure that EVERYone NEEDS to notice that right away though...(smiles)!


The things Lawana can't live without are:

  • my family
  • spiritual guidance
  • love/sex
  • a few really good friends - close connections
  • piece of mind/peace w/i my spirit


The first thing people notice about Lawana is:

Hmmm........that I like to laugh !!


Some additional information Lawana wanted you to know is:

I like a man who is comfortable with his (and a woman's) body, cares how he looks but isn't scared to get his hands dirty when he needs to!! How sexy I think a God -fearing man is - ---respectfully. Umm....I like kittens and long walks in the park.....just kidding! That I'm also a Gemini? If you're into that...What's YOUR sign? :-)


My interests

Lawana typically spends her leisure time:

I enjoy a great dinner, hiking, a weekend getaway, museums, getting massages, OR simply staying in, renting/watching a movie, laughing, talking, and spooning!

The last book Lawana read and enjoyed:

"Eat, Pray, Love". This book is considered "a meditation on love in its many forms!"


According to my friends:

Lawana's friends describe her as:

  • Funny
  • Loyal
  • Intelligent
  • Good Listener
 
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oceanlady is offline oceanlady Post #2  April 23,2010, 8:35pm
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I'm sure you'd rather have a guy's perspective, but for what it's worth, I think overall your profile looks great. I know what you mean about some people not getting it that a person can love both God and sex. The one thing that sticks out to me about your profile is that your most influential person is an ex. That might conceren some men. They might wonder if you're still attached to the ex and if not, then why not? If the ex influenced you because he taught you a valuable lesson about what you don't want or something like that, say so. It would make a difference. Otherwise, I would say maybe find another person to fill this category. Good luck!
 
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trugemini is offline trugemini Post #3  April 23,2010, 9:43pm
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Thank you for sharing Oceanlady! That is funny about the "ex" and you are right. About half of the guys I've communicated with have found my response on that question, at least, surprising. I've thought about changing it but it seems to generate provocative conversation. My ex is from a relationship that ended in '87 but we ARE still very good friends. He is married and we are not together physically these days but during the time we were together, he enlightened me about many things, ways of thinking and seeing the world, and myself as a woman. He was pivotal but do i wish we'd stayed together? NOoo (lol) and he and I have laughed about it over the years! I like him as my chief confidant but not my bf or husband. I do not ever envy his wife!
 
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LittleHugBug is offline LittleHugBug Post #4  April 23,2010, 10:06pm
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Tru - I think a line or two from your post explaining your ex's influence should actually go in your profile - the EH advisors say you should not only say who has influenced you but why/how. (Having that one line by itself) may generate interesting conversation w/ some men but for others it may leave too much to the imagination, and the conclusion they can jump to may hurt your/their potential.

I would comment on more but that's the 1st thing that jumped out @ me and I'm too tired to analyze the rest. I'll give you more feedback after I get some sleep.
 
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DeltaKing is offline DeltaKing Post #5  April 24,2010, 6:47am
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Strongly advise against referring to the ex boyfriend as your most influential person. It may well be true, but such statements are a deal-breaker for a lot of us.

If he's that influential, it no doubt means he'll come up in a lot of our conversations, and that isn't a romantic prospect in the slightest. I don't want to hear about your ex in our first conversation, which is essentially what the profiles are.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 24,2010, 9:12am
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trugemini wrote :
Hello to all those who take a moment of their time to lend their wisdom! I don't get why I'm not getting more responses. I have reviewed, edited, and tweaked my profile many times but, often, I get a little overly religious sounding guys. While God fearing myself, to that type, I MIGHT even seem like a heathen! When I alter my profile to take out my own religious verbiage, I am not being honest and I get guys who don't seem very relationship oriented and maybe a bit superficial. IDK. Why do I have to be scared to use the SEX word in my profile? Anybody else feel same? Well, I just put it back today. I can't love God AND love......? Yep, I'm feeling rebellious. I also have a sense of humor but don't know if that translates to sound goofy and immature in my profile. I JUST NEED ADVICE!! Give it to me. I can take it - I think!! hahaha
Thanking you in advance!!!




View all 8 photos


The one thing Lawana is most passionate about: I am passionate about always trying to grow and develop as a person. I try to expose myself to a range of people and experiences to assist in that growth. I would LOVE to do much more traveling! The idea that I may only see certain places on the "Travel Channel" is terrible! I am also passionate about doing things in my life that help other people. I am very passionate in my relationships & stimulated by intelligence, sense of humor, confidence, humility, sensitivity, and emotional stability.
This is not too bad but I am going to have to think about it some as I think it could be better.

The most important thing Lawana is looking for in a person is: Loyalty and good character. I had to give 2!
I really prefer to see a bit more detail instead of just a list. A dog is the probably the most loyal living being that you will ever find but I don't think you want to date a dog. Maybe explain what loyalty and character look like to you.
Basic Information

Occupation: Academic Admissions Advisor Age: 39 Height: 5' 4" Wants Kids: Maybe Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: African-American Religion: Christian Drinks: About once a week Smokes: Never

In my own words

The most influential person in Lawana's life has been:
If you can believe it....probably an ex boyfriend.
If you are going to use an ex-boyfriend as the most influential you need to explain in detail what it is that he did to influence you.

The three things which Lawana is most thankful for:

  • My parents and upbringing.
  • Gods grace & blessings.
  • My health.
In this section you can have more than just a list. You can explain each item.

Three of Lawana's best life-skills are:

  • Being a good friend and companion
  • Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
  • Resolving conflict

The one thing Lawana wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

That I'm very playful! I'm not totally sure that EVERYONE needs to notice that right away though...(smiles)!
You may want to give an example of being playful.

The things Lawana can't live without are:

  • my family
  • spiritual guidance
  • love/sex
  • a few really good friends - close connections
  • piece of mind/peace w/i my spirit
Here again you can use sentences and explain if you want, instead of just a list.

The first thing people notice about Lawana is:

Hmmm........that I like to laugh !!

Tell me about your laugh. Is it infectious? Do you make others laugh? Etc.


Some additional information Lawana wanted you to know is:

I like a man who is comfortable with his (and a woman's) body, cares how he looks but isn't scared to get his hands dirty when he needs to!! How sexy I think a God -fearing man is - ---respectfully. Umm....I like kittens and long walks in the park.....just kidding! That I'm also a Gemini? If you're into that...What's YOUR sign? :-)
You don't like kittens and long walks in the park??? You either do or you don't, don't put it and then put "just kidding".

My interests

Lawana typically spends her leisure time:

I enjoy a great dinner, hiking, a weekend getaway, museums, getting massages, OR simply staying in, renting/watching a movie, laughing, talking, and spooning!

The last book Lawana read and enjoyed:

"Eat, Pray, Love". This book is considered "a meditation on love in its many forms!"


According to my friends:

Lawana's friends describe her as:

  • Funny
  • Loyal
  • Intelligent
  • Good Listener
Comments above.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54Advice Official Moderator Post #7  April 24,2010, 12:07pm
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(female here) -- I think it's a great profile. A few comments ...

- I also had an ex listed as most-influential and when I got my profile reviewed here every single man who commented said No to that. Just FYI. I think if you're going to mention him then add the explanation you gave here about the status of the relationship now and how he influenced you.

- As far as god/sex ... EH does use keywords in your profile as part of the matching algorithm. I'm not sure exactly how. I would think having 1 mention of god or religion, and 1 mention of sex, would be a good way to go.

- "piece of mind/peace w/i my spirit"
 
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melman is offline melman Post #8  April 24,2010, 1:58pm
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trugemini wrote :
The one thing Lawana is most passionate about: I am passionate about always trying to grow and develop as a person. I try to expose myself to a range of people and experiences to assist in that growth. I would LOVE to do much more traveling! The idea that I may only see certain places on the "Travel Channel" is terrible! I am also passionate about doing things in my life that help other people. I am very passionate in my relationships & stimulated by intelligence, sense of humor, confidence, humility, sensitivity, and emotional stability.
I would close this match right away.

I like the answer to this question to give me a quick snapshot into your life. If your best friend was trying to convince me to ask you out, what would he/she emphasize? Hopefully, that one thing that is your core interest.

There are several cliche answers to this question that will always cause me to stop reading the profile, or to read it with a lot less interest. "I am passionate about living life to the fullest." "I am passionate about self improvement." "I am passionate about treating people with respect." They sound good at first, but they really don't tell me anything about you.

I also really dislike statements such as "I would LOVE to do much more traveling!" Why are you telling me this? Why don't you do more traveling? You shouldn't be waiting for an eH match to come along and fulfill your desires. That's not what this is all about.
 
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trugemini is offline trugemini Post #9  April 24,2010, 11:17pm
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A BIG THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE RESPONDED SO FAR!! Much appreciated. I have to say that I really like the almost line by line format of Gr8t Guy! Well, that settles it ---the "ex" is comin' OUT! Great point that it may not be the statement alone but the perception that this 'mention' is likely to lead to other comments. That was astute aaaand probably accurate. I, also, really struggle with. providing too brief or too lengthy a response in several places.

I have MORE to write.....but...........falling asleep??
 
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Rainfallgirl is offline Rainfallgirl Post #10  May 13,2010, 11:16am
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I would not refer to being a gemini other than having it listed formally with your age etc. if you want which I think is how eH does it. (I cannot remember since its been a while for me... but I am not seeing it in your profile up there so maybe just leave it out in that case.) A lot of guys are turned off by astrology and even though it is has value to some people it does not seem that way to many men in particular and they often interpret it as being a sign of being a bit crazy.
Last edited by Rainfallgirl; May 13,2010 at 5:21pm.
 
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