I don't know if this is the correct message board to ask this...


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starfish_steph1969 is offline starfish_steph1969 Post #1  April 23,2010, 12:05pm
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I have been on EH on/off for the better part of six years. I have met (and dated) a few great guys, but just haven't met "the one." I live in a large city and I'm fortunate that I get a ton of matches - over 600 since August 2009.

My question is - how much time should I give a match to respond to a communication (whether it me my initial communication or theirs') before I can conclude a match isn't interested in communicating further?

My way of thinking was if a match didn't respond within a week to ten days, I'd close them out. (Especially if I could see that they opened my last communication - but didn't answer, updated their profile, or looked at my profile). If, for whatever reason, a match decided they wanted to contact me, they could request that I re-open them.

Since I am obviously a chick, I don't know if guys look at this situation differently. Any thoughts?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #2  April 23,2010, 5:09pm

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Hi starfish_steph1969,

From an eHarmony standpoint, you are in the ballpark of what we recommend. We encourage members to err on the side of patience and give their matches two weeks to respond to a communiation request before considering closing the match. We also encourage members to take advantage of the nudge feature if they don't get a response after the first 7 days.

It hasn't been my experience that men and women as groups have different ideas about how long to wait. I think it has more to do with a member's personality. But even for those members who are little less patient than others, sometimes life happens and a match can't get back to you as soon as even they would like. If after two weeks someone hasn't responded, then close them out, but if you are really interested in them, you may want to give them even more time.

Some successful couples have told us that the reason that they are now together was because one of them was especially patient awaiting communicaiton from the other!

All the best,

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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  April 24,2010, 6:23pm
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starfish_steph1969 wrote :
I have been on EH on/off for the better part of six years. I have met (and dated) a few great guys, but just haven't met "the one." I live in a large city and I'm fortunate that I get a ton of matches - over 600 since August 2009.

My question is - how much time should I give a match to respond to a communication (whether it me my initial communication or theirs') before I can conclude a match isn't interested in communicating further?

My way of thinking was if a match didn't respond within a week to ten days, I'd close them out. (Especially if I could see that they opened my last communication - but didn't answer, updated their profile, or looked at my profile). If, for whatever reason, a match decided they wanted to contact me, they could request that I re-open them.

Since I am obviously a chick, I don't know if guys look at this situation differently. Any thoughts?
First, it costs you nothing to leave a match open. And I am not going to buy that your Communicating folder gets filled up and becomes cumbersome to handle a lot of matches that are not communicating. Whenever a match sends a communication he is going to go to the front of your matches.

Second, most (about 90%) of your matches are going to be non-paying members. Most non-paying members are also non-active so won't view or close. However, there are going to be some that are active yet non-paying and are going to communicate during a FCW. So the procedure I use and would recommend is to send First Questions to any match that is even remotely interesting to you. If they respond, great. If they don't just leave them sitting until the next FCW comes around. The day before the FCW starts send a Nudge to any non-communicating match. After the FCW has ended go through your matches and close any that never communicated.

I would suspect that guys and girls follow much the same time lines of communicating. The real difference is that the girls are much more likely to NOT initiate communication.
 
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