Closing Match question/advice


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vsic is offline vsic Post #1  April 22,2010, 12:04pm
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Hi! I'm new here and wouldn't normally start a thread but I have a question that has probably been addressed here before but not sure where to get that advice.

In the last 2 months, I went out with 2 different guys on EHarm. I went out with each one twice and I thought we got along well and there was attraction. However, despite one or two communications on my part after the 2nd date, I didn't hear back from either guy. I enjoyed my time with both guys and harbor no ill feelings, so I feel weird about just closing them, but at the same time, seeing their profiles in my communication tab can be a slightly sad reminder knowing that they decided not to pursue things with me.

Do I just close them? Seems kind of impersonal seeing as how I spent several hours getting to know these guys over phone conversation, emails, and two dates. Should I send just a txt message or EHarm email letting them know I wish them well and will be closing the match? If so, how would I phrase it?

One guy I saw last over two weeks ago and the other was about a month ago.

How do you handle this situation?
Thanks!
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #2  April 22,2010, 12:08pm
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Yes, close them. They can ask to be reopened if they want. Move on. Set yourself free.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  April 22,2010, 12:41pm
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Since they were both wimps for not doing it themselves.. just close'em
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  April 22,2010, 12:47pm
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Best you just close them and move on to the better men in your match list. Cause you know you're gonna find a better one than either of those two.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  April 22,2010, 1:42pm
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Close!
 
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jayhawkgirl is offline jayhawkgirl Post #6  April 22,2010, 2:41pm
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It appears eH has finally added an "archive" option. It lets you move a match out of your active list without closing them permanently. Kind of like putting them in the fridge, like leftovers you're not ready to throw out yet....just in case.

Btw, your matches will be able to see you've put them in the fridge, so they'll know you're not hanging around waiting for their phone call.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  April 22,2010, 3:02pm
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jayhawkgirl wrote :
It appears eH has finally added an "archive" option. It lets you move a match out of your active list without closing them permanently. Kind of like putting them in the fridge, like leftovers you're not ready to throw out yet....just in case.
Actually, when you are in communication (GC-OC) with a match, you do not have the option to move them to the archive tab. Closing is the only option.

wrote :
Btw, your matches will be able to see you've put them in the fridge, so they'll know you're not hanging around waiting for their phone call.
Partially correct.. When you move a new match to the archive folder, they are none the wiser.
They would only know if you closed them out, As you would be moved into their archive folder. So technically it's archived but in the closed matches tab..
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 22,2010 at 3:31pm.
 
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jayhawkgirl is offline jayhawkgirl Post #8  April 22,2010, 4:07pm
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
Actually, when you are in communication (GC-OC) with a match, you do not have the option to move them to the archive tab. Closing is the only option.


Partially correct.. When you move a new match to the archive folder, they are none the wiser.
They would only know if you closed them out, As you would be moved into their archive folder. So technically it's archived but in the closed matches tab..
Ahh, thank you for the clarification, Trek! I had made assumptions...shouldn't have done so.

Why do they not allow archiving of matches you're already in communication with?? Typical of eH to add a feature, but not make it fully useful.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #9  April 22,2010, 4:12pm
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Just close them with whatever reason checked off that you like. Both guys didn't even let you know they weren't interested anymore. So you don't owe them another communication explaining why you are closing them.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  April 22,2010, 4:26pm
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For all practical purposes both of these guys have poofed on you. Therefore you owe them nothing. Closing them is sufficient.
 
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