goldengirl7676 is offline goldengirl7676 Post #1  April 21,2010, 9:53pm
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Just a general question here...

Have any of y'all had matches who've seemed really great and with whom you've had some (albeit only a few) great conversations, but they start laying it on thick before you've even met? I mean, have they seemed a little too enthusiastic about the two of you together? Am wondering about one of my matches right now and am not sure how to handle things.
 
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vax72 is offline vax72 Post #2  April 22,2010, 6:32am
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I haven't had this but it kinda feels like desperation to me. How quickly do you reply to their emails? Straight away or does it take a while to get back to them?

Have a look back through your previous conversations, is there anything in there that may have given them the wrong impression about what you're looking for?

Just some food for thought.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  April 22,2010, 9:02am
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Never had this kind of thing happen to me but from other posts I think that it is usually something that happens to girls more than to guys.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  April 22,2010, 9:05am
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vax72 wrote :
I haven't had this but it kinda feels like desperation to me. How quickly do you reply to their emails? Straight away or does it take a while to get back to them?

Have a look back through your previous conversations, is there anything in there that may have given them the wrong impression about what you're looking for?

Just some food for thought.
Uh oh, the old "let's play games with how fast we reply. Should I wait 3 days to reply or if I reply within the same day I will appear desperate. But if I don't reply within the same day (same hour) then I am telling my match that I am not interested". (shaking head)
 
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Faraday is online now Faraday Post #5  April 22,2010, 9:13am
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Oh god. Only one, it was awful. About 3 weeks ago I was supposed to meet this guy from out of town- we hadn't spoken on the phone yet, just texting. We had been texting for about a week when he said, "maybe on our date we'll get romantic"....so I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that...or him now (it was really creepy and completely random and out of context with what we were talking about) and I wished him the best of luck in his future endeavors. 35 text messages in an hour (from I thought we were soul mates to your a crazy b*** and I hate you)...with no response from me and he finally gave up.

The enthuastic ones are scary....
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 22,2010, 9:18am
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Faraday wrote :
Oh god. Only one, it was awful. About 3 weeks ago I was supposed to meet this guy from out of town- we hadn't spoken on the phone yet, just texting. We had been texting for about a week when he said, "maybe on our date we'll get romantic"....so I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that...or him now (it was really creepy and completely random and out of context with what we were talking about) and I wished him the best of luck in his future endeavors. 35 text messages in an hour (from I thought we were soul mates to your a crazy b*** and I hate you)...with no response from me and he finally gave up.

The enthusiastic ones are scary....
I am sure he gets several orders of magnitude more dates than I get indicating that a guy that exhibits proper decorum doesn't work either
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #7  April 22,2010, 10:11am
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Yes, I have had it happen. Red flag.
To me it almost shows a sign of a possesive type person. The one I ran across even had the nerve to contact me about my profile (made changes) long after he was closed.
 
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Faraday is online now Faraday Post #8  April 23,2010, 6:14am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I am sure he gets several orders of magnitude more dates than I get indicating that a guy that exhibits proper decorum doesn't work either
I don't know Gr8Guy....all I know is...if he had have just kept those thoughts to himself, we would have went on a date...although, I'm glad that he showed himself before we met ..he was an angry guy.

It does totally matter how you feel about someone though, I've had...improper... conversations with men before I've met them and it made me like them more. I think it depends on context and how much you like the person...but anything improper usually starts with me- not him *shrugs* and only if we've been talking for a while and on the phone.
Last edited by Faraday; April 23,2010 at 6:21am.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #9  April 23,2010, 7:01am
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Enthusiasm is one thing. But over-enthusiasm is another.

If someone is enthusiastic to meet me and go out with me. That's a good thing. It makes me feel wanted. It allows me to reciprocate in kind. That's what makes a date turn into relationship material.

Over-enthusiasm is when she's discussing children and our married life together at the first date. Even long term plans, on the first date is overreaching. One day at a time. Its okay to be excited, but its another to start forecasting into the intermediate and far future. Take it one day at a time.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  April 23,2010, 10:16am
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Too Much Too Soon makes me think the guy is all about fantasy ... there won't be any reality to this relationship. It makes me want to slow down or stop.

However. Some people just gush. They're excited, and out it comes. Doesn't necessarily mean anything much.

I think if you otherwise like him, go ahead and meet ... but do that soon; don't continue the online-only relationship -- it just feeds fantasy, if that's what's going on.
 
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