Catsetc is offline Catsetc Post #1  April 21,2010, 8:54pm
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So, guys, say you were in OC with a match, mails flowing back and forth nicely, each asking and answering questions. After a day and a half of this she offers her "real" e mail address. You reply with your phone number, saying you don't much like typing but will continue to e mail if she's not wanting to talk on the phone yet. She replies something to the effect that she'd like to talk in the phone... but in a few days. Her work schedule is busy and leaves only a limited amount of free time on work days and she also admits she's yes, a little nervous. How would you take that? Would it bother you, be seen as rejection, or just be fine with you and taken at face value?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  April 21,2010, 9:22pm
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I don't believe in having emails "flow back and forth". By the time you get to OC with a match, you know enough about the person to know whether you'd like to meet. What are you hoping to accomplish by additional emails and phone calls? I don't buy that delaying meeting in person has anything to do with being "nervous". Are you interested in meeting people or not?
 
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alchemist10 is offline alchemist10 Post #3  April 21,2010, 10:38pm
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Move at your own pace but once you do get to Open Communication I think the sooner you meet the person the better as you can only know so much about a person via the phone. I used to wait and would get to "know" people on the phone but when I met them the expectations were not met as I didn't feel the same click in person as I did on the phone. Once again though I say do what you want and you will find a pace that you are comfortable with.
 
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vax72 is offline vax72 Post #4  April 22,2010, 6:27am
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It wouldn't bother me to be honest. She's explained why it will take a few days to speak on the phone and I see no reason for her to lie about that.

I'd still be emailing though, you can learn a lot about a person through an exchange of emails, but I would also be interested in arranging a meeting relatively soon because it's only then that you can truly gauge whether someone is right for you.

Hope that helps.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  April 22,2010, 6:44am
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I don't see a negative in your post as being some sort of red flag or anything like that.

As a side note you do present some interesting things.

1. I don't like talking on the phone so prefer e-mail as my non-in-person communication method.

2. When you have schedules that make communication outside normal accepted hours necessary then if you insist on talking on the phone you either are waking someone up or you are not talking. With e-mail you can send an e-mail late at night, he can reply early in the morning and the communication continues. JMO.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 22,2010, 6:47am
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melman wrote :
I don't believe in having emails "flow back and forth". By the time you get to OC with a match, you know enough about the person to know whether you'd like to meet. What are you hoping to accomplish by additional emails and phone calls? I don't buy that delaying meeting in person has anything to do with being "nervous". Are you interested in meeting people or not?
Using this concept then there is no reason to have anything in your profile other than making it a calendar of when you are available and your match can select the date / time that works for her and you just meet and "interview" each other over dinner.
 
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Catsetc is offline Catsetc Post #7  April 22,2010, 7:22am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Using this concept then there is no reason to have anything in your profile other than making it a calendar of when you are available and your match can select the date / time that works for her and you just meet and "interview" each other over dinner.
lol... I'm tired after a long night of work, so everything seems funny to me, but this idea of an "interview" over dinner struck me as comical. I've had dates that definitely felt like interviews.

Yes, I very much want to meet people, and specifically this match. I decided even before reading these replies that I'm not all that nervous after all... now it's more about my schedule. It's simply more convenient for the next few days to e mail because I can do that on my time... whereas a phone call needs to happen at a mutually convenient time. I have a stretch of four days off work coming up starting this weekend and was simply hoping to postpone a phone call until then. We are still e mailing and he seems fine with that. In fact, I have a mail from him right now waiting to be read. I just wanted to make sure how I was coming across wasn't... I dunno... seemingly un-interested or rude. Thanks for the input.
 
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