what is a non-paying member? do I know if someone is that?


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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #1  April 21,2010, 6:57am
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I am very new to eharmony. I have been browsing the boards and I see mentions of non-paying members, etc.

Are some of the matches I'm being sent of non-paying members? How can you tell? How can they create a full profile if they're not a paying member? I'm confused.

And if they are a non-paying member, can they contact me first? Or do I have to contact them? How does this work?

thanks!!!!!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  April 21,2010, 7:04am
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readytodate wrote :
Are some of the matches I'm being sent of non-paying members?
Yes, A large number of your matches are going to be non-paying members.
wrote :
How can you tell?
Unfortunately eH does not let us know who is and who isn't a paying member.
There are some tell-tale signs that a match maybe an non-paying member: ice-breakers, incomplete profiles, no photos and non-responsive, are sometimes a good indication, but not always
wrote :
How can they create a full profile if they're not a paying member? I'm confused.
People can join eH for free.Non-paying members can create a profile and upload photos (Non-paying members cannot view your photos) The business model is that the paying members are dangled infront of NPM to entice them to subscribe.

wrote :
And if they are a non-paying member, can they contact me first
A non-paying member can communicate with you by using the one time ice-breakers. However during an FCW (free communication weekend) They can communicate by using GC (guided communication)
wrote :
Or do I have to contact them
Your first thread should cover this.

The using E-harmony forum is a great tool for learning the ins and outs of the singles site.

So welcome to the boards and good luck with your e-dating journey

ETA: Here is a good article eHarmony Etiquette 101! especially the part about closing and being closed.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 21,2010 at 7:41am.
 
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krohnan is offline krohnan Post #3  April 21,2010, 7:11am
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readytodate wrote :
I am very new to eharmony. I have been browsing the boards and I see mentions of non-paying members, etc.

Are some of the matches I'm being sent of non-paying members? How can you tell? How can they create a full profile if they're not a paying member? I'm confused.

And if they are a non-paying member, can they contact me first? Or do I have to contact them? How does this work?

thanks!!!!!
There is no way to tell if a member is a paying one or not. It's been asked about many times, even for something just as simple as a "last log-in time" but eharmony is rather insistent on member privacy and has held firm to not allowing us to differentiate in this regard.

Non-paying members can create full profile's because this is part of eharmony's business plan. If you've seen a commercial, whether a regular one or for a free communication weekend, it entices prospective members to join, fill out the questionnaire and create a profile to get matched with other members. However they cannot communicate outside of a free weekend (except for sending icebreakers, which is generally the only way to tell if a match is non-paying if they don't mention it in their profile) and they cannot view anyone's photos. They also cannot fast track to eharmony mail/open communication (although this isn't made 100% clear) until they become a paying member.

So no they cannot start guided communication outside of a free weekend, and there is no way to tell if a match that interests you is a paying member or not. The best thing then is, if a match interests you period, send questions. Since even paying members can be just as fickle you may as well initiate communication. If they're a paying member and are interested you'll know soon enough when they respond, if not you can always wait until a free weekend to see if their at least an active non-paying member (these do exist, just require some patience and some luck) who has some interest or then close em out and move on to the next match that catches your eye.
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #4  April 21,2010, 7:40am
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I have a ton of questions about this. I'm a non-paying member. I was filling out the form just to see what e-harmony was like, and maybe start a profile I could work on until I'm ready to look for a relationship and zap, it sticks the profile out there. (I thought I got something saying the profile is 40% complete, or some low number, so I figure it's not going to put it up...) I get email, I can't figure out how to respond other than to close the communication as far as I can tell. So I try and log in to turn off my profile. I think I have. Then, a few weeks later I start getting emails again. Including a nudge. Now, as much as I would like these gentlemen to know I have nothing against them, and might even like them if I were interested in actually starting to date on e-harmony, I don't know how to tell them that.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  April 21,2010, 7:51am
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
Yes, A large number of your matches are going to be non-paying members.

Unfortunately eH does not let us know who is and who isn't a paying member.
There are some tell-tale signs that a match maybe an non-paying member: ice-breakers, incomplete profiles, no photos and non-responsive, are sometimes a good indication, but not always

People can join eH for free.Non-paying members can create a profile and upload photos (Non-paying members cannot view your photos) The business model is that the paying members are dangled infront of NPM to entice them to subscribe.


A non-paying member can communicate with you by using the one time ice-breakers. However during an FCW (free communication weekend) They can communicate by using GC (guided communication)

Your first thread should cover this.

The using E-harmony forum is a great tool for learning the ins and outs of the singles site.

So welcome to the boards and good luck with your e-dating journey

ETA: Here is a good article eHarmony Etiquette 101! especially the part about closing and being closed.
TrekRyder10 I think that you have covered this quite well.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  April 21,2010, 7:54am
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Charmed I also started as a non-paying member, same as you ... just created a profile on a whim and surprise! I was getting matches.

You can go into your profile and "turn off matching". That way you will not get any new matches. It's the polite thing to do, since paid members don't like non-paid matches they can't identify and can't communicate with.

However! I did that, and later became paid, and found all my original matches had been closed by EH and couldn't be re-opened. So if you do this, you will lose all the matches you got before turning off matching.

Beyond that ... as an unpaid member you cannot communicate with paid members so you can't reply to them.

Except: there are Free Communication Weekends every month or 2 where unpaid people can use EH for free for 3-4 days.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  April 21,2010, 7:57am
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Charmed, out of the respect to the OP, you should start always create your own thread if you have your own questions. I will address them quickly.
charmed59 wrote :
I have a ton of questions about this. I'm a non-paying member. I was filling out the form just to see what e-harmony was like, and maybe start a profile I could work on until I'm ready to look for a relationship and zap, it sticks the profile out there. (I thought I got something saying the profile is 40% complete, or some low number, so I figure it's not going to put it up...)
No matter what percentage your profile is completed. Eh does in fact make it active once you sign up.
wrote :
I get email, I can't figure out how to respond other than to close the communication as far as I can tell.
Since you are a non-paying member you can only communicate via ice-breaker during non-free communication weekends.
On FCW you can use the guided communication only
wrote :
[ So I try and log in to turn off my profile. I think I have.
You can turn-off the matching process, but that only stops new matches from being sent to you. The ones you already have, you will have to act on.
wrote :
Now, as much as I would like these gentlemen to know I have nothing against them, and might even like them if I were interested in actually starting to date on e-harmony, I don't know how to tell them that.
You can either close them or put a message in your about me section, that you are a non-paying member. They might stick around until a FCW for you
Close msgs you could use:
I'm just not ready for the next step.
I am taking a break from dating.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 21,2010 at 8:07am.
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #8  April 21,2010, 7:59am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
You can go into your profile and "turn off matching". That way you will not get any new matches. It's the polite thing to do, since paid members don't like non-paid matches they can't identify and can't communicate with.
I think I did that, and did not get any new matches for a few weeks. I have not logged in again after that, and just today I got a nudge. So, if it closed all those communications, why am I getting a nudge? Or did it untoggle my "turn off matching"?

I really didn't want to log in again, as on other sites that's the sign for "she's active!" And I'm not. Really.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #9  April 21,2010, 8:10am
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None of my previous matches was closed when I turned off matching. They are all still sitting there... (Sassafras - are you sure that your matches were closed by eH? I haven't heard of that happening before... Perhaps your matches actually closed them?)

Charmed - Do go into your account and make sure that your "matching" setting is turned off as you wish. What that will do is prevent you from receiving new matches. It does not, however,affect the matches that you already have. So, any of your open previous matches is still free to attempt communication with you. If you truly do not wish to hear from anyone, I suggest that you say something to indicate that on your profile.

Don't worry about logging in. The way eH currently operates, there is no way for your matches to know when/if you log in (although lots of folks here would like to see that as a feature!).
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #10  April 21,2010, 8:11am
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charmed59 wrote :
I think I did that, and did not get any new matches for a few weeks. I have not logged in again after that, and just today I got a nudge. So, if it closed all those communications, why am I getting a nudge? Or did it untoggle my "turn off matching"?
You are going to have to log in to check!...

wrote :
I really didn't want to log in again, as on other sites that's the sign for "she's active!" And I'm not. Really.
Unlike other sites. You cannot tell when a member has logged in. Unless you are viewing profiles.

Put a message in your about me section,That states you are a non-paying member and you are taking a break.
 
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