Catsetc is offline Catsetc Post #1  April 19,2010, 9:13pm
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So, I had closed a match (admittedly I was being hasty and impatient) who'd responded to my first questions fairly promptly but nine days later hadn't communicated any further. A few hours later I received a mail from eH giving me the message he'd asked me to reconsider and reopen. I was not super interested in this match, but interested enough to want to communicate in the first place and definitely not un-interested. So, I reopened it. And a few hours later I got his MH/CSs. And "wow" was all I could think. They were so incredibly similar to mine and to my beliefs and values that I was very pleasantly surprised. I can honestly say there was not one single even yellow flag that caught my attention. And not one of them do I not fit. I immediately sent mine back and then a short while later received his 2nd set of questions. Just finished answering them and sent them, and my questions for him. Anyway, I'm feeling good about reopening. Now to get to my question... Have those of you who have reopened a match in circumstances like that found it to be a good idea? A positive experience? How often do most of you go ahead and reopen a closed match? I'm just curious. I think in this particular situation it was the right thing to do.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  April 19,2010, 9:48pm
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Sounds like reopening was a great move! Good luck, hope it continues well.

I only got 1 reopen-request but it was from someone I had had no contact with and had no interest in. You had closed him because he didn't respond in 9 days? That's reasonable.

But you could also consider just leaving those slow-responders open longer ... have fun!
 
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Catsetc is offline Catsetc Post #3  April 19,2010, 9:58pm
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Sassafras54 wrote :
Sounds like reopening was a great move! Good luck, hope it continues well.

I only got 1 reopen-request but it was from someone I had had no contact with and had no interest in. You had closed him because he didn't respond in 9 days? That's reasonable.

But you could also consider just leaving those slow-responders open longer ... have fun!
Yeah, I should have just left it open longer. There are any number of legitimate reasons why he didn't respond sooner. I admit I was being hasty and impatient and I intend to cop to that when/if we get to OC. Thanks for the good wishes.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  April 20,2010, 8:06am
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In all the time I have been on eHarmony I have only had one match request that I re-open. The reason that I had closed in the first place was similar to you, no response after First Questions in over a month. I did re-open and we quickly got to OC, exchanged a few e-mails then she poofed again.

In general unless you have closed a match for a deal breaker type reason what do you have to lose by re-opening?
 
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