coffeeaddiction is offline coffeeaddiction Post #1  April 19,2010, 9:02am
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Thought people would like to read this interesting article:

Dating Study Says Singles With Options Go For Hotties : NPR

Basically it says the more choice people have, the more likely they make snap judgments based on appearance.

I thought it was interested that any girl above me in terms of looks was INSTANTLY closing the match, whereas any girl below me in terms of looks was showing interest.

Sad way to look at it I know, but at least theres a scientific basis for why people act this way.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  April 19,2010, 10:00am
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Seems that we have two "experts" and they disagree. Who woulda thunk it?
 
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coffeeaddiction is offline coffeeaddiction Post #3  April 19,2010, 11:17am
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Mmm although my anecdotal experience of this largely holds true. I cannot get a first level interaction with a girl who is clearly above me in terms of looks to save my life. And I do not believe I actually bring nothing of value to the table, except my looks.

Clearly, especially with online dating, appearance matters a lot. One could argue that the same is true in real life, but in a real life interaction you have a chance to get your message across beyond the looks.

Moral of the story is, if you are ugly, don't expect to believe successful matching based on deep personality characteristics will include people who are better looking than you.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #4  April 19,2010, 11:32am
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The more choices the least likely we will settle, but since beauty is in the eye of the beholder who I think is a "hottie" may be very different than who the next guy thinks is a "hottie".
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  April 19,2010, 12:50pm
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stevex wrote :
The more choices the least likely we will settle, but since beauty is in the eye of the beholder who I think is a "hottie" may be very different than who the next guy thinks is a "hottie".
Bingo. People keep forgetting that everyone has different tastes in terms of what is and isn't attractive.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #6  April 19,2010, 1:38pm

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it definitley bugs me when men (and women) suggest that women don't care about what a man looks like.

Not true.We may care less and have wildly different preferences. But most of us care.

I care, and yes I do look at the photos and I do consider how attracted to them I am on a physical basis.

It's not to say I don't make exceptions (nor do I base it on my own attractiveness) and occasionally I might think "he's too good looking...would he really settle down with me?"

But yes, attraction matters. And I do think it's important that men know that they too should care about their appearance.

If you want me to care, I want you to care too. Not just for fairness but because I want to be with someone that cares enough about me to care about how he looks for me, too.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  April 19,2010, 2:38pm
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coffeeaddiction wrote :
Moral of the story is, if you are ugly, don't expect to believe successful matching based on deep personality characteristics will include people who are better looking than you.

Personal taste as regards attractiveness in the other gender matters.

Also, appearance is not something distinct from "deep personality characteristics" - it is our personality which makes some of us choose to care for our appearance.
 
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coffeeaddiction is offline coffeeaddiction Post #8  April 19,2010, 2:39pm
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cp30 wrote :
it definitley bugs me when men (and women) suggest that women don't care about what a man looks like.

Not true.We may care less and have wildly different preferences. But most of us care.

I care, and yes I do look at the photos and I do consider how attracted to them I am on a physical basis.

It's not to say I don't make exceptions (nor do I base it on my own attractiveness) and occasionally I might think "he's too good looking...would he really settle down with me?"

But yes, attraction matters. And I do think it's important that men know that they too should care about their appearance.

If you want me to care, I want you to care too. Not just for fairness but because I want to be with someone that cares enough about me to care about how he looks for me, too.

You seem to be talking about "looks" as if it is something a person can change. Of course if you are talking about "appearance" then yes, everyone should make an effort to be as attractive as possible, that's just courtesy and taking pride in your appearance. Clip those nose hairs, make sure you are clean shaven and don't look like you crawled out of a dumpster etc etc.

But there are some fundamental things people find attractive and if you do not have these then you are out of the running full stop. For example, studies have shown a symmetrical face is universally seen as "attractive". Typical strong male characteristics i.e. a strong jawline, prominent nose, high cheekbones etc are also considered attractive. If you do not have these things, save plastic surgery, the original study I posted indicates you will not be selected by an attractive mate, due to the breadth of choice available to them, particularly in online dating.

Maybe I am pointing out the obvious (ugly people don't get dates), but this just makes me sad I guess.

Or maybe it's time for some plastic surgery
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #9  April 19,2010, 2:52pm
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I think you need to stop reading studies and take a peak at the real world out there. Then tell me just how many fat, ugly people are in relationships and happily married. From what I can see, that would be the grand majority. I'm quite certain that they do not all have money and stunning personalities, but rather are just normal flawed average people with their good sides and their bad sides and plenty of them met online.
 
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Samatva is offline Samatva Post #10  April 19,2010, 3:04pm
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Note the article reflects "speed dating" and sites not eH - you can't sift through "thousands" of profiles here in any short time.

My standard is "does she look like she cares about herself?" and/or "could she participate in activities I enjoy?" not "is she a Miss America candidate?" The setting of a photo makes a big difference - every woman who just hiked to the top of a mountain is attractive to me!

Signed:
a guy currently dating a woman who has hiked up Mt Kenya several times!
 
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