LastCookieInTheJar is offline LastCookieInTheJar Post #1  April 14,2010, 8:22pm
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How about eharmony help members ask some of the hard questions that are important in choosing a mate.
An idea would be, after the must have /can't stand questions were exchanged, there could be a "deal breaker" exchange.
That way members have a chance to be up front about things that would be a deal breaker for them before the first date.
It would make it easier for all involved.
Some examples of deal breakers.

Criminal record
STDs
Debt
Bankruptcy
Tattoos/Body Modifications
Bad Credit Rating
Addictions
History of Mental Illness
Eating Disorder
Sexual Dysfunction
 
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coffeeaddiction is offline coffeeaddiction Post #2  April 14,2010, 8:47pm
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How about being upfront that physical attractiveness has a lot to do with choosing a mate!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  April 15,2010, 3:38am
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LastCookieInTheJar wrote :
How about eharmony help members ask some of the hard questions that are important in choosing a mate.
An idea would be, after the must have /can't stand questions were exchanged, there could be a "deal breaker" exchange.
That way members have a chance to be up front about things that would be a deal breaker for them before the first date.
It would make it easier for all involved.
Some examples of deal breakers.

Criminal record
STDs
Debt
Bankruptcy
Tattoos/Body Modifications
Bad Credit Rating
Addictions
History of Mental Illness
Eating Disorder
Sexual Dysfunction
Some people can't even put their real age, Do you think these would be answered honestly?

You can ask these questions in Stage 3, by creating your own question.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 15,2010 at 3:45am.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  April 15,2010, 3:45am
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coffeeaddiction wrote :
How about being upfront that physical attractiveness has a lot to do with choosing a mate!
There is already a must haves choice that does this

Attractive I must have a partner who is considered "very attractive" by most current standards.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #5  April 15,2010, 4:24am
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This is a company that believes our last logins and displaying whether or not a match has children is an invasion of privacy. I can only imagine what they'd think of all of these.
 
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LastCookieInTheJar is offline LastCookieInTheJar Post #6  April 15,2010, 8:44am
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Although some people may not be truthful, I believe it would be better to be open about the things that will be a problem in the future if a relationships begins.
That way, a prospective date will be made aware of the boundaries of the matched member and will have the opportunity to bow out.
There is no need to reveal what the deal breaker was.
I believe this is respectful and will avoid that bombshell conversation down the road.
It seems to me that if honest communication is off limits, the possibility of creating worthwhile relationships is questionable.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #7  April 15,2010, 9:50am
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If people want to know about those things, they can ask.

Although I'm not a tattoo fan, I'd consider that different from all the others listed, since the rest all have negative connotations, while tattoos are more of a personal preference.

Some of them I would consider nobody's business when we haven't even met yet, like credit rating- unless you expect your dates to give you a mortgage.

I'd be offended at being asked about things like having a criminal record, even though I don't, because that doesn't give me a good vibe. If someone can't figure out how to look that up herself, she's probably not intelligent enough for me.

If someone's asking about STDs, she'd better be planning on having sex with me- otherwise, how is it any of her concern?
Last edited by mrflyer; April 15,2010 at 9:55am.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #8  April 15,2010, 10:12am
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If you were meeting people outside of e-dating. How would you uncover these deal-breakers?

The debt, bankruptcy, and credit rating are covered in both the MH/CS already

As is Addiction. There is a CS for that as well.

Without giving the other person a chance to explain some of the other examples. They would be useless.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 15,2010 at 10:15am.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  April 15,2010, 10:12am
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LastCookieInTheJar wrote :
How about eharmony help members ask some of the hard questions that are important in choosing a mate.
An idea would be, after the must have /can't stand questions were exchanged, there could be a "deal breaker" exchange.
That way members have a chance to be up front about things that would be a deal breaker for them before the first date.
It would make it easier for all involved.
Some examples of deal breakers.

Criminal record
STDs
Debt
Bankruptcy
Tattoos/Body Modifications
Bad Credit Rating
Addictions
History of Mental Illness
Eating Disorder
Sexual Dysfunction
These are covered in a manner of speaking in both the Must Have and again in the Can't Stand section. There is a financial responsibility requirement in both sections.

This is already covered in the Can't Stand.

Mental illness would be covered under the Emotionally Healthy Must Have. To some extent I would consider that Eating Disorder could be under this Must Have also.

Sexual Dysfunction would be covered under one or more of the several MHCS that are related to sex.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  April 15,2010, 10:16am
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coffeeaddiction wrote :
How about being upfront that physical attractiveness has a lot to do with choosing a mate!
TrekRyder10 wrote :
There is already a must haves choice that does this

Attractive I must have a partner who is considered "very attractive" by most current standards.
You could probably also add the MH about Style as an indication of attractiveness.
 
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