How many times do you attempt to call before giving up?


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jim35 is offline jim35 Post #1  April 14,2010, 6:57pm
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So I run into a couple of matches that display strange behavior (for lack of a better term.)

What I mean is this. I have been calling a couple matches, and they do not answer. One I called 3 times, the other 2, neither of them picked up.

Normally I would say "forget it" and close the match. However after I called I would either get a eharmony message or text saying "oh sorry I missed your call last night" from both of them. So I left them open but have not called back so far.

So are these girls just painfully shy, and cant deal with talking with someone or what? Anyone else deal with people like this? (eager to talk during open communication but have no phone skills)
 
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fanofsteel is offline fanofsteel Post #2  April 14,2010, 7:06pm
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Are you using the eH Secure Call feature? Were these Fast Tracks, or did you go through Guided Comm?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  April 14,2010, 7:09pm
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Well I have no phone skills and prefer that if I am talking to someone that it be in person.

However that is not your question. If I send a message to someone and they don't respond then I assume that they are not interested and move on. I only send one message. If that message happens to be via phone and they do not pick up then I will leave a voice mail asking them to call me when it is convenient for them.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #4  April 14,2010, 7:15pm
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Are you asking how many times to call in a day, or in general?

It really depends on the relationship type, but if its a new match, then..

Per day, I would say 2. 1, leave a message and give LOTS of time. 3+ hours at least. Second time, if there is time in the day. Leave a second message. If no answer, its in her court. Any more, and you run the risk of being stalkerish.

In general, I would say 2 different days. Maybe 4 calls using those criteria i put above. If you still don't get a return call, you're not getting one. They should also NOT be consecutive days. Again, don't want to seem stalkerish. 4 calls, and no return call, is giving the other person too much of a benefit of the doubt.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #5  April 14,2010, 9:39pm

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jim35 wrote :
So I run into a couple of matches that display strange behavior (for lack of a better term.)

What I mean is this. I have been calling a couple matches, and they do not answer. One I called 3 times, the other 2, neither of them picked up.

Normally I would say "forget it" and close the match. However after I called I would either get a eharmony message or text saying "oh sorry I missed your call last night" from both of them. So I left them open but have not called back so far.

So are these girls just painfully shy, and cant deal with talking with someone or what? Anyone else deal with people like this? (eager to talk during open communication but have no phone skills)
In the past my rule has always been three calls then yer out....but with current technology and people with their crackberry....I'm leaning towards two calls.

In this modern age, there are not that many 'painfully shy' women....only the ones who are not interested. Nobody is painfully shy that they can't return a phone call.

But SOME will use that "I'm shy" excuse. If that's the case, you cut your losses and move on from such nonsense.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #6  April 14,2010, 10:11pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Well I have no phone skills and prefer that if I am talking to someone that it be in person.
Talking on the phone is so frightening isn't it, lol.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #7  April 14,2010, 10:14pm
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You call once and ONLY once. If they want to retun the call, they will.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #8  April 15,2010, 5:17am
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I'm with PY--2 maybe 3 calls if you're really keen on her. Then that's it. If she doesn't call back, she's not interested and doesn't warrant further attention.
 
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krohnan is offline krohnan Post #9  April 15,2010, 5:48am
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Jim35, at least you are getting feedback through the site that you don't have to completely think it's a lost cause and make a move towards the close button. As suggested it could very well be phone skills and your best bet may be to move things along in OC to set up an actual meeting where they may do better at communication or may just show that their social skills are what they are.

Me personally I am with PY_2 & insertscreenname in regards to calling. 2 maybe 3 call attempts with 0 feedback. After that it's time to move on, whether it's no interest or whatever, you don't want to turn in John Favreau from Swingers either and that'll definitely increase their lack of interest or shyness.
 
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1quickslovak is offline 1quickslovak Post #10  April 15,2010, 7:55am
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I use my two strike system. When I get a woman's number I call them when we agreed to talk. No answer? Strike one. It's also a pet peeve that they are flaky/undependable, but that's besides the fact. I don't bother leaving a voicemail, to me it's a wussy move, "Uh, hi, this is Nate. You told me to call you so here I is..." I call back once more the next day. Still no answer? Strike two, move on.
 
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