ataru is offline ataru Post #1  April 13,2010, 6:01pm
ataru's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2008

Atlanta area

Posts: 62

See profile

Normally I don't use all caps, but in this case I AM shouting. I logged in tonight after maybe a couple of weeks, and I had 51 matches, most of which were flexible. Seriously, I have better things to do with my time and money than click through 45 matches I utterly don't want. If you don't have any real matches for me DON'T SEND ME ANY. Please, please, please add an opt-out-of-this-nonsense checkbox somewhere. Thanks.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #2  April 13,2010, 6:14pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

Wow! You got 51 matches in a couple weeks? I get about 6 a month. All flexible.

If you don't want any flexible matches, put all your settings at the highest importance level. Supposedly, you still match your flexible matches on the 29 points of personality; it is only the things such as distance, age range, etc. on which they are flexible.
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #3  April 13,2010, 6:29pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

One of my nicest matches was a flexible match; we decided we wouldn't do so well as a couple after about 3 or 4 dates, but we're great friends now.

The only flexibility I have ever noticed with my flexible matches is on things like: distance, how often they drink, education (I don't care if he went to college or not), income (if he has a job in this economy, especially with the 12% unemployment in my city, I'm thrilled!), and height (no biggie for me--I'm quite short!). Flexible matches still match on the 29 dimensions, so it's not like they're trying to hook me up with someone with whom I'd be horribly incompatible. And like Wonderwoman said, you can adjust these settings to determine how important each of these things are to you.

Sorry, but I just don't see the problem with a little flexibility for me. Sometimes I find that my way of interpreting something wasn't the same way he interpreted it, and it's really not as bad as I envisioned it might be.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  April 13,2010, 7:03pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

Depending on what the system was flexible on, you might be complaining for nothing. If it's distance, adjust your settings. If it's something you are absolutely rigid in your choice (kids, smoking, drinking, etc) then set your settings accordingly. The other option you have is to contact eH customer care and ask them to help you adjust your settings to what will garner you the best results you are looking for.

Also, you may want to consider a few things. Your location, are you in a rural location or major metro area. Your age, it is my understanding that the very young (18-25) is less represented on eH, as are the more seasoned members (60+). But, this is only based on what I have read on these forums.

I used to get tons of flexible matches based on distance. I've adjusted a few settings and it seems to help.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr79percent is offline Mr79percent Post #5  April 13,2010, 7:05pm
Mr79percent's Avatar

So long, farewell.

Pacesetter

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 451

See profile

But...but...but...if I didn't have flexible matches I'd have no matches at all!!!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  April 13,2010, 7:51pm
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

Flexible matches are the ones who do yoga, right?
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #7  April 13,2010, 7:54pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

mrflyer wrote :
Flexible matches are the ones who do yoga, right?
Yes...among other things.
 
  Reply With Quote
MicMan is offline MicMan Post #8  April 14,2010, 4:43am
MicMan's Avatar

is living life to 83% of its normal capacity.

Board Leader - Sports

Joined: Feb 2009

Posts: 2,965

See profile

It's already been noted that flexible matches are still matched on the 29 dimensions, so it isn't like eHarmony is just throwing some random person at you in hopes that it is going to work.

Anytime I've had a flex match, she's fallen just outside of the criteria I've set. Lately, it's been age, and usually it is only a year outside of my maximum age, so that's no big deal.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr79percent is offline Mr79percent Post #9  April 14,2010, 8:04am
Mr79percent's Avatar

So long, farewell.

Pacesetter

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 451

See profile

MicMan wrote :
It's already been noted that flexible matches are still matched on the 29 dimensions, so it isn't like eHarmony is just throwing some random person at you in hopes that it is going to work.

Anytime I've had a flex match, she's fallen just outside of the criteria I've set. Lately, it's been age, and usually it is only a year outside of my maximum age, so that's no big deal.
Are you adding in your head 3-4 years to compensate for the fact she might not be honest?

I've initiated contact with older women, but when I met them in person I've found myself questioning what their real age is.
 
  Reply With Quote
MicMan is offline MicMan Post #10  April 14,2010, 4:51pm
MicMan's Avatar

is living life to 83% of its normal capacity.

Board Leader - Sports

Joined: Feb 2009

Posts: 2,965

See profile

Mr79percent wrote :
Are you adding in your head 3-4 years to compensate for the fact she might not be honest?
Call me naive, but I like to think positively about my matches and not outright assume that they are lying.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« The Hard Questions | Using eHarmony | "Good luck with your search" Final Message? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Not getting any responses back from matches, ever. WildcatZ Using eHarmony 13 April 11,2010 3:57pm
What's with the flexible matches?? looking4MrOK Using eHarmony 4 March 17,2010 5:26pm
Eharmony in control of sent matches passat1 Using eHarmony 1 March 2,2010 3:19pm
flexible matches and height AndieIsMe Using eHarmony 9 January 22,2010 11:08am
Flexible matches lesmar Using eHarmony 5 October 25,2009 9:11am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks! dmi said it best when he said the variation between races are too wide to exclude any race.” –  sun73

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“ If you know, then, that you've already friend-zoned him, I don't see much point in meeting. I misread your op and thought you were just trying to decide how you felt about him. If you know you ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“You are very Welcome Simplicity...” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“ We also have the same friends. Yesterday there was an outing and I decided to go regardless if he was going to be there or not. Every time he saw me he went somewhere else. One of his friends ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“You will have the option to close a match at any time, but if it is ONLY giving you the option to close, that means the other person has already closed it.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “Question, archive, close...” discussion

“ Very true, this is a high percentage of the members who use free comm weekends.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:18pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0