How long do you wait before closing non-responders?


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fanofsteel is offline fanofsteel Post #1  April 12,2010, 6:57pm
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In general, I give a woman two weeks to respond. If I don't hear from her by then, I will assume she is not interested or not a paying member. By that time I'm mostly sick of seeing her name just sitting there inert on my "Communicating" list.

However, some I'll only give one week: if you don't have a photo or haven't responded to my request to see one; if you live more than an hour away; if I was on the fence about whether I was interested in the first place.

I'm curious to hear what guidelines other people use. And curious to know if it's different for women than men (though I suspect many of you women never initiate communication in the first place).
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  April 12,2010, 7:20pm
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I think you're going about it right. I left matches open for a longer time....about a month. It probably makes no difference whether it's two weeks or a month given what I've learned here. Most of them are freeloaders or 'dead' matches who quit and never turned off matching.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #3  April 13,2010, 4:28am
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I generally don't close my matches after I initiate communication. It doesn't bother me when they just sit there and do nothing. I've pretty much adopted the philosophy that I put a match out of my mind until she returns communication.
 
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HownDawg is offline HownDawg Post #4  April 13,2010, 6:03am
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I can see it both ways, but I don't close many of them. I don't get enough promising matches to close the door on the slim possibility that she'll log in and want to communicate a few months later.

I've left the site for months without turning off matching in the past, so I know people do sometimes come back. I know I've been disappointed to see a few of the closed matches when I returned.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #5  April 13,2010, 6:49am
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I used to keep the matches up for about two weeks, and then if there is no response, I would close them. Now, I've sort of cut it down to ten days. I realize people get busy, but if after ten days you can't answer a few multiple choice questions, but you can take time to view my profile, then you're probably not interested.
 
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late40smom is offline late40smom Post #6  April 13,2010, 7:28am

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HownDawg wrote :
I can see it both ways, but I don't close many of them. I don't get enough promising matches to close the door on the slim possibility that she'll log in and want to communicate a few months later.

I've left the site for months without turning off matching in the past, so I know people do sometimes come back. I know I've been disappointed to see a few of the closed matches when I returned.

I am curious why you left the site for months without turning off matching? I have run into this twice, in both cases men were letting their subscriptions run out while they pursued a relationship, and leaving matches on in case things did not work out (they both emailed me and told me this in response to my fasttrack but it took weeks). Maybe this happens a lot - would not surprise me at all, and it would explain at least some of the nonresponders.

so would love to know why you eventually returned... or other posts about how common this is?

I see no downside to leaving these non-responders open - unless EH stops sending you matches if too many matches are sitting on your account?
 
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HownDawg is offline HownDawg Post #7  April 13,2010, 7:44am
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late40smom wrote :
I am curious why you left the site for months without turning off matching?
I had no idea EH continued to match people once they canceled, so it didn't ever occur to me to look for a "Turn off matching" button. It still doesn't make any sense to me. After I canceled, I assumed I couldn't log back in to turn it off. I imagine there's a huge disparity in EH knowledge between people here in the forums and other users. I know I've learned a lot just in the past couple of days.

wrote :
so would love to know why you eventually returned... or other posts about how common this is?
To be honest, I wasn't finding anyone on my own and finally got desperate enough to try EH again, even though I never met anyone here the first time through. I finally succumbed to one of the cheap renewal rates.
 
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late40smom is offline late40smom Post #8  April 13,2010, 8:17am

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wow. just to clarify: when you say cancelled, you mean you stopped being a paid member? but you still got matches in your email inbox? and were you notified when people tried to communicate? then when you paid again you could see all the people who had tried to communicate?
 
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HownDawg is offline HownDawg Post #9  April 13,2010, 8:33am
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My memories are fuzzy due to time, but I believe that's the case. The new matches seemed to cluster around FCWs (although not all of them), but I knew I wasn't going to sign up, and I also knew I wasn't going to move quickly enough to get contact information in 3 days. Most of the emails containing the match information were deleted unread.

I don't remember getting communication emails, but my profile was awful, so I don't know if conclusions can be drawn.

At one point I got the distinct impression that EH had either been holding matches back or generating more flexible matches, because I received a flurry of them at or near the time my subscription was running out.
 
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cal_dude is offline cal_dude Post #10  April 13,2010, 8:34am
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I keep the best ones for a while. So far out of a hundred I kept over 2 weeks, 10 came back in a couple of months and closed, and one replied. Diminishing returns, so am not sure if it matters much.
Last edited by cal_dude; April 13,2010 at 8:38am.
 
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