Gotten to open comm. with a few matches and they fall off the map.


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Rhizzlebop is offline Rhizzlebop Post #1  April 12,2010, 1:27pm
Rhizzlebop's Avatar

I speak the truth I expect the truth

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2010

Columbia, SC

Posts: 79

See profile

So, I usually start the process with new matches first. Most just sit idle. A good number close me and just a few answer my questions and go through the steps.

I have most of those, get to open communication and just fall off the map.
I dunno what it is.

A girl just last week, we started with the first step last Thursday, and by Sunday night we got to the step where I send her an open email. (Her last set of answers to questions seemed very personal toward getting to know me. ie, she was adding comments to me about what she thought of the question in addition to answering the question)

Well, it was late Sunday night when she last took her step, so I waited till Monday morning to start communication.

I wrote her a nice, but quickish little email saying how I'd enjoyed her answers and commented on a couple things she'd said. I asked her a few questions and said a couple more things about myself.
It's been over a week, and not a peep from her since.

I think I may nudge her later this week, but not much else can be done. Since she hasn't emailed, I basically am locked down until she makes a move, aside from a nudge.
Last edited by Rhizzlebop; April 12,2010 at 1:33pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Rhizzlebop is offline Rhizzlebop Post #2  April 12,2010, 1:31pm
Rhizzlebop's Avatar

I speak the truth I expect the truth

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2010

Columbia, SC

Posts: 79

See profile

Another girl, we went through the steps, but granted she was a bit slower. We got to open communication and I wrote, and she wrote, and I wrote again and gave her my direct email and said, just write me back there when you get a chance. About 4 days after that, she dropped me a direct email saying she was just heading to bed and wanted to say hi realy quick. That's the last I've heard. I wrote her another email after hers talking a bit more and asked a few questions (that was a day later).

After another week, I sent her another direct email just saying I hope she was not too slammed at work, etc etc. (she had previously commented about having outside observer superiors in her office). Not a peep back.

That's happened like 4 times now.

PS: I last emailed this girl (See this post) on Apr 7 and no reply. Not sure if I should bother writing again or dropping it.)
 
  Reply With Quote
illustrator is offline illustrator Post #3  April 12,2010, 1:45pm
illustrator's Avatar

- in stealth mode.

Virtuoso

Joined: Mar 2008

Smack dab in the middle of the U.S.

Posts: 3,000

See profile

Rhizzlebop wrote :
That's the last I've heard.

I wrote her another email (that was a day later).

After another week, I sent her another direct email Not a peep back.

That's happened like 4 times now.

Not sure if I should bother writing again or dropping it.)
If you write again, you'll be telling her you can't take a hint.
 
  Reply With Quote
TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  April 12,2010, 2:01pm
TrekRyder10's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2010

In a van down by the river

Posts: 4,802

See profile

Rhizzlebop wrote :
After another week, I sent her another direct email just saying I hope she was not too slammed at work, etc etc. (she had previously commented about having outside observer superiors in her office). Not a peep back.

That's happened like 4 times now.

PS: I last emailed this girl (See this post) on Apr 7 and no reply. Not sure if I should bother writing again or dropping it.)
Three emails and no response, I wouldn't waste my time after the 2nd no-reply with this match..Let this one go!


The common denominator here seems to be your emails. Not saying you're doing anything wrong, but they're not keeping the ladies interest if this is happening more than often..

It could just be a string of flaky matches.. IDK.. Maybe try a different approach..Try asking for the phone number sooner!
 
  Reply With Quote
Rhizzlebop is offline Rhizzlebop Post #5  April 12,2010, 2:08pm
Rhizzlebop's Avatar

I speak the truth I expect the truth

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2010

Columbia, SC

Posts: 79

See profile

Yea, I tend to agree about the multi-email chick.

However, the main purpose of my post was about the one that I kind of still have a little idea she might write back.

We went through all the steps from Thursday evening till Sunday evening (Sunday a week ago).

I send her the first open email last Monday morning and nothing since. I dunno what could change so quickly with her. She saw my pics from step one I assume. I was as lively and engaging in my open comm as I was in my long answer questions. It wasn't a free weekend last week, and we went through the steps from Thursday till Sunday night which was before any free weekend would have started.

I don't get it. Is it random chance that these matches reach open comm with others at about the same time as with me and they end up more interested in them than me at that point just out of overload from a numbers thing?
 
  Reply With Quote
TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #6  April 12,2010, 2:35pm
TrekRyder10's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2010

In a van down by the river

Posts: 4,802

See profile

Rhizzlebop wrote :
I don't get it.
Who does
wrote :
Is it random chance that these matches reach open comm with others at about the same time as with me and they end up more interested in them than me at that point just out of overload from a numbers thing?
Same time, a week ago, a month ago, yesterday. Doesn't matter! somebody has to go on the back burner. Not everybody can multi-date.

I don't waste too much time trying to figure it out. I give my matches 7-10 days to respond, then I close.
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #7  April 12,2010, 3:47pm
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

illustrator wrote :
If you write again, you'll be telling her you can't take a hint.
I agree, but I'd also wonder why she hasn't bothered to close the match.

This bit of people disappearing or being around a lot less is pretty common in OC. I think part of it is that people get spoiled in GC, where most things are multiple choice, then when it's free form writing, they don't know what to say. Also, it's closer to the point where you should be meeting in person, and that scares people off.

I'm convinced a lot of people on these sites don't really want to meet anyone; they just think they do and go through the motions, then stop before they get to that point.
 
  Reply With Quote
fanofsteel is offline fanofsteel Post #8  April 12,2010, 4:02pm
fanofsteel's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2010

Posts: 100

See profile

This kind of thing is actually quite common. The first three communication stages are so easy that people have no problem communicating with matches, even if they're not interested, because they don't need to invest much before Open Comm. But once you get to that stage, it's real and they realize that if they continue to talk to you then they'll have to meet you eventually and since they were not all that interested in the first place, they just disappear. I find it to be very rude but since it happens a lot you can't really get upset when it does. I often wonder why they don't just close me so I'm not wondering, but ironically, they probably don't do that because they're afraid it would be rude.

I wonder if the poofing happens to women with the same frequency it happens to us guys.
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Kate; April 12,2010 at 4:54pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  April 12,2010, 6:29pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

This would be par for the course. It is the rare match that ever gets all the way to meeting.
 
  Reply With Quote
illustrator is offline illustrator Post #10  April 12,2010, 7:49pm
illustrator's Avatar

- in stealth mode.

Virtuoso

Joined: Mar 2008

Smack dab in the middle of the U.S.

Posts: 3,000

See profile

Sooo..... Rhizzlebop, who's that gal in your pic?
Last edited by illustrator; April 12,2010 at 7:52pm. Reason: ..... looks like you've got no problem . LOL.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« is there a limit to number of matches in communication? | Using eHarmony | How long do you wait before closing non-responders? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks! dmi said it best when he said the variation between races are too wide to exclude any race.” –  sun73

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“ If you know, then, that you've already friend-zoned him, I don't see much point in meeting. I misread your op and thought you were just trying to decide how you felt about him. If you know you ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“You are very Welcome Simplicity...” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“ We also have the same friends. Yesterday there was an outing and I decided to go regardless if he was going to be there or not. Every time he saw me he went somewhere else. One of his friends ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“You will have the option to close a match at any time, but if it is ONLY giving you the option to close, that means the other person has already closed it.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “Question, archive, close...” discussion

“ Very true, this is a high percentage of the members who use free comm weekends.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:18pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0