I am attracting lonely introverts...no one fun!


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swimcat is offline swimcat Post #1  April 7,2010, 5:56am
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Can someone review my info...Is there something too weird...
Yes I'm catholic, yes I have 3 kids in sports, but I didn't try emphasize that part..

I'm intelligent but really outgoing and like to have fun.
Practically everyone has been seriously disabled, or overweight,
shrter than they say...and for simplest lpeasure they mean they are cheap and poor...I like my simple natural pleasures...

I've been takling care of my kids for 2o yers and I really miss having companionship, fun, dancing, sports,e tc....
Does it seem like that when you read my profile???

ps. I have posted my personality profile that says I am extremely curious, have lots fo character, extremely outgoing...etc.etc.

Here's the profile below:
I like:
laughter; water; creating art in pastels or clay figures, well-crafted fairy tales (O. Wilde).I am most passionate when I am speaking up for others; listen well to others. I would hope that I come across as more talented than hard-working although my life demonstrates that I can be persistent if I believe the cause is worthwhile. Great coach and mentor; good at develop team strategy working on strengths. Creativity comes naturally to me; I like challenges & puzzles of transforming a formerly cast-off house to a well-loved home(moving walls more than hanging pictures). deliciously prepared authentic ethnic food.
　
The most important thing Catherine is looking for in a person is:
Outgoing & generous (at least in spirit). Someone who is active in mind and body. My partner doesn't have to share all of my interests since they are wide and varied, but I think it is important to support someone else's hobbies although it doesn't mean attending all of those eve…
Outgoing & generous (at least in spirit). Someone who is active in mind and body. My partner doesn't have to share all of my interests since they are wide and varied, but I think it is important to support someone else's hobbies although it doesn't mean attending all of those events.

The most influential person in my life has been:
A mentor who supported me when I pursued grad school & worked part-time as I raised my first-born. He was a thinker, not a politician & he encouraged me to pursue my independent scholarly ideas. Another mentor has been My Uncle an urban priest who took me home-visiting throughout the Bronx, NY when I was 16 yrs old when we was back from Venuzuela. We visited everyone: pretty Blond teens, elderly & frail, heroin addicts, and traumatized Vets. i learned the healing power of conversation, & celebrations, bodysurfing in the ocean waves and how to catch and throw a football. I also was raised with a happy faith that God thought as well of women as men.
　
The three things which I am most thankful for:
* the ocean and my chances to enjoy swimming at the beach& fishing,(scuba when I can).
* My upbringing where parents, feminist nuns and coaches believed that I could do anything I put my mind to.
* My children who taught/teach me to laugh more & helped me learn how to coach better, create art & explore everyday nature.
Three of my best skills are:
* Sharing my beliefs through teaching, participation, and example
* Finding creative solutions to everyday problems
* Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice is:
My compassionate heart. I'm former national level athlete, but I have a tender heart. Sometimes my depth of knowledge is because I was curious enough to ask. It is never an attempt to show-off. I believe in balancing work, play, family commitments, spiritual growth & fun.
　
I can't live without:
* Ocean
* Natural beauty of nature: woods, sun, rivers, etc.
* Humor, but not the mean kind.
* Learning something new
* Communicating with close friends.
The first thing people notice about me is:
My creative intelligence. I am thoughtful & well educated. I also listen well I can talk to anyone on probably any topic. I can communicate effectively with professors in practically any subject; tradesmen; coaches, tugboat captains, native fisherman, scubadivers, surfers,etc. I know that I am not supposed to discuss appearance but my Irish-green eyes & smile display my authentic, genuine nature. Oh, I spent most of my life in NY & though I've lost most of the accent, it springs right back when I visit almost once a month!
Some additional information:
Although I am very out-going and friendly, I have depth and a very caring disposition. I often host parties or carry the conversational burden, but I miss the comradarie of close friends who understand me well. I am a former national level athlete, but in my family I am known for my knowledge of words, even though math is how I make my money. And the most important lesson I learned and took to heart was that my father loves all his children as much as another: Divsion III champion to Olympic gold medalist (I am none of these). We were given skills and set free, but we are encouraged to touch base if we are having trouble.
My interests:
dancing, volleyball, swimming; reading; theater, co-creating liturgies at an extremely liberal Catholic Church; museums (science & art) in Dc, PHilly, NYC (some lectures); assisting children in sports; attending concerts by singer-songwriters; cooking/eating ethnic cuisine; ON the spur of the moment I do some artistic things: free-form clay pottery, pastels, sometimes playng my guitar- all of relaxing when the mood strikes. finding authentic restaurants off the beaten track. Love to go out with friends; would go out dancing more if the chance arose

I look like an Ivory Girl with a witty, kind sense of humor but I am equally comfortable with well-educated professorial, techno-geeks, or mechanics because I am genuine & I like genuine people. I love fancy and funky occasions, vacations and staycations with the right person. I have a tapestry of talents: many that I express in different phases of my life when I see a need for them they emerge to the surprise of people who categorized me in another way. . My list of accomplishments may be high but the point is whether or not I enjoy my time with the person I am with.... !
Any suggestions would be helplful!
Thanks
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  April 7,2010, 9:50am
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Hi Swimcat!
That's interesting that EH is pairing you with quiet introverts ... you seem quite the opposite. I guess the compatibility algorithm sees these as one kind of good match for you!

Perhaps that's because your profile gives the impression of very high energy, very fast mind, very outgoing ... if you got matched with someone just like you, there would be Way Too Much Going On!

Maybe you should give some of those introverts a chance? But in any case...

Your profile is a little overwhelming and somewhat chaotic. I suggest paring it down and focusing it, in 3 ways:

1. It's too long. In each section, pick the most important things and delete the less important.

2. Answer the question at hand without digressing. E.g.:

swimcat wrote :

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice is:
My compassionate heart. I'm former national level athlete, but I have a tender heart. Sometimes my depth of knowledge is because I was curious enough to ask. It is never an attempt to show-off. I believe in balancing work, play, family commitments, spiritual growth & fun.
The answer here should be just "My compassionate heart ... [and a brief statement of why you think maybe people don't notice your heart so much]". The rest is just more information about you, not an answer to the question, so should be deleted.

3. Don't repeat things. If it's in one section, it doesn't need to go in another section too, unless you *really* want to emphasize it. For example "I'm a former national level athlete" appears at least twice. Not a bad thing to include -- but once is enough.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  April 7,2010, 10:19am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
Hi Swimcat!
That's interesting that EH is pairing you with quiet introverts ... you seem quite the opposite. I guess the compatibility algorithm sees these as one kind of good match for you!

Perhaps that's because your profile gives the impression of very high energy, very fast mind, very outgoing ... if you got matched with someone just like you, there would be Way Too Much Going On!

Maybe you should give some of those introverts a chance? But in any case...

...
This is the most significant thing you said!

Certain things you should look for similarity in your partner. Other things opposites attract. Extraversion / Introversion is one of the places that opposites can work well.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  April 7,2010, 12:07pm
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swimcat wrote :
and for simplest lpeasure they mean they are cheap and poor...I like my simple natural pleasures...
I'm curious what you mean by this.

How many of these people have you met in person?

I don't agree with the concept that introverts are automatically no fun.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #5  April 7,2010, 1:15pm
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swimcat wrote :
Can someone review my info...Is there something too weird...
Yes I'm catholic, yes I have 3 kids in sports, but I didn't try emphasize that part..

I'm intelligent but really outgoing and like to have fun.
Practically everyone has been seriously disabled, or overweight,
shrter than they say...and for simplest lpeasure they mean they are cheap and poor...I like my simple natural pleasures...

I've been takling care of my kids for 2o yers and I really miss having companionship, fun, dancing, sports,e tc....
Does it seem like that when you read my profile???

ps. I have posted my personality profile that says I am extremely curious, have lots fo character, extremely outgoing...etc.etc.

Since your profile is kind of long the only ones that tend to take the time are those who care about who the person is...those people tend to be more introverted than extroverted.

But defining someone as intro or extro is kind of vague and it really depends on the situation. Shyness is not being an introvert---these are two very different things.

Since you said you have jad children for 20+ years...im guessing you are 40+.

Intorverted does not mean you are lazy or dull.

I am wondering if you ever met anyone in person...I am highly doubting that based on your naivety
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  April 7,2010, 1:41pm
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Unless you've met these guys in person you have no idea what their actual energy level is and whether they are fun and interesting or not at all.

Also, while some extro/extro matches work, they can be difficult because both people like to have their say. So yeah, you may be getting matched with the more quiet types because if you tell him to go dancing with you, he'll just yield and do it. On the other hand the more extroverted guy may easily shoot you down and go do his own thing and you'll have instant conflict instead of getting what you want.
 
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swimcat is offline swimcat Post #7  April 7,2010, 1:48pm
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To those who replied, I can see how my message seemed harse. I have been getting dates, with very lonely, shy, never married, no long relationship, partially disableld men who would LOVE to see more of me soon.

I asked EH if I was going to get match on
the outgoing, curious, risk-taking, caring for others versus protecting self specturm and they said yes.

I wondered what is attracting such shy people , since I am not and I not looking for a shy perons...
I was married to one and he was not a great dad...
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  April 7,2010, 2:51pm
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Actually I hear your pain. The thing is that opposites do attract.....kind of.... Since you are energetic and extroverted....yeah the quiet guy will be attracted to your energy. You are essentially bringing sunshine and excitement into his life. Unfortunately he is not doing the same for you and so that's not exactly a happy match for you while you are a great match for him. So yeah he wants to see you again.

Ultimately, EH or any online site is nothing more than a place that introduces you to someone you would not meet in your daily life and that's all. As much as they like to advertise to the contrary there really isn't some magic where they can deliver the right person for you. So take it for what it is, apply your own filters and explore your matches, but do lower your expectations to preserve your own sanity. At the end of the day it's a numbers game. You go out with enough frogs, you'll end up meeting the prince eventually.
 
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Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #9  April 7,2010, 3:14pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
Since your profile is kind of long the only ones that tend to take the time are those who care about who the person is...those people tend to be more introverted than extroverted.

But defining someone as intro or extro is kind of vague and it really depends on the situation. Shyness is not being an introvert---these are two very different things.

Since you said you have jad children for 20+ years...im guessing you are 40+.

Intorverted does not mean you are lazy or dull.

I am wondering if you ever met anyone in person...I am highly doubting that based on your naivety


Thank you, and I would add that not all of us are lonely! I rate fairly high on the introvert end of the scale, but I rarely feel lonely.

It's generally thought that introverts and extroverts are actually a better match than 2 of one or the other, but I think it probably has more to do with both the degree to which each is one or the other, as well as their tolerance for those of the opposite type.
 
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DeltaKing is offline DeltaKing Post #10  April 7,2010, 7:10pm
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Numerous parts of your profile don't make any sense. For example:

wrote :
Although I am very out-going and friendly, I have depth and a very caring disposition. I often host parties or carry the conversational burden, but I miss the comradarie of close friends who understand me well. I am a former national level athlete, but in my family I am known for my knowledge of words, even though math is how I make my money. And the most important lesson I learned and took to heart was that my father loves all his children as much as another: Divsion III champion to Olympic gold medalist (I am none of these). We were given skills and set free, but we are encouraged to touch base if we are having trouble.
I can't follow this at all.
 
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