srtaw is offline srtaw Post #1  April 6,2010, 4:05pm

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Ohio

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Ok, now that I've gotten my feet wet, so to speak, over here, and am feeling bold, would a few of you be so kind as to give me some feedback on my profile? I've not seen much action in the "GC" category, really not much at all (or maybe, being new and inexperienced, just have unrealistic expectations?).

After having spent a few weeks in EH, I'm now questioning if my profile is too specific and / or wordy. A friend had recommended being specific, and I know I'm really bothered by all the vague, run-of-the-mill profiles that come my way (especially when it comes to what the match is passionate about), but then, I'm a detail-oriented person.
I don't know...maybe it screams "I never shut up??"

Any suggestions you can throw my way?

Occupation: Spanish Instructor - high school & college Age: 29 Height: 5' 8" Wants Kids: Yes Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic Religion: Christian Drinks: A few times a year Smokes: Never
Passionate about:
The things that drive me to get up every morning are the opportunities I have, both in my job and away from work, to challenge teens to strive for better and to demand more of themselves and others. I love investing in relationships, be it with students at school, my family and friends, or my church family. And of course, I can always make time for a good cup of coffee, a great deal on a hot pair of shoes, or an Ohio State football game with friends.

Looking for:
I'm looking for someone who is genuine in all facets of his life and who truly enjoys life and makes the most it, be it the busy, day to day rush, or the quiet down time at home, as well as a man who is actively pursuing a deeper relationship with the Lord.

Influential person:
My grandparents. They are truly the most humble, loving, caring, compassionate, generous people I've ever had the privilege of knowing. On summers off from college I had the opportunity to work in a factory where my grandpa had been a foreman for decades. Everyone I worked with during those summers knew him, and everyone always made a point to say what a wonderful man he was and how they missed seeing him around the factory. My grandparents have been such a lesson in humble, simple living and true, genuine, unconditional love and compassion.

Thankful for:


  • I am thankful to be surrounded by great people - loving and supportive family, friends, & church family.
  • For having had the opportunity to see many parts of the world and life through others' points of view.
  • For a job that allows me to interact with many different people and provides variety on a daily basis.
Wish more would notice:
I'm a very nurturing person.

Can't live w/o:
  • Coffee
  • Great family & friends
  • Travel
  • My puppies (both lab mixes)
  • The occasional Jeni's ice cream
First thing others notice:
My sense of humor, so they say.

Additional info:
I grew up on a hog farm in northern Ohio and have lived in down town Chicago. I like to shoot shot guns, and I like to get dressed up and go out, visit the museums, shop, see and do all that the city has to offer. I'm comfortable at both ends of the country/city life spectrum. I've managed to settle down somewhere in the middle, but still enjoy having close access to a large city. I think regardless of where I spend the rest of my life, country or city, I'll always need the occasional escape of the other.

Leisure time:
1. Hanging out with my friends - watching football, playing games, grilling out, going to baseball games, etc. 2. Traveling - seeing new places & and visiting old friends. 3. Going on walks with my two dogs, and occasionally helping with the rescue they came from. 4. Running. This is a new one for me, and I'm trying to learn to love it. I'm currently training for a 5K. 5. Being creative in the kitchen - always trying something new!

Books:
For fun - Twilight: New Moon (c'mon, cut me some slack - I teach high school.) For grad school - El Burlador de Sevilla For growth - currently working on Francis Chan's Crazy Love. Challenging the status quo. Providing me with often-needed reminders & challenges.


Thanks!
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  April 6,2010, 5:51pm
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Seems just fine to me. You give specific answers that paint a picture of who you are, without being too wordy.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  April 6,2010, 6:02pm

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Hi Srtaw,

I agree with Melman! I find it conversational, engaging, and light-hearted yet not flippant. I would say that in “the first thing people notice” that you might want to demonstrate your sense of humor rather than state it, but I don’t think it’s that important, since you demonstrated it with the book you read. I did laugh out loud with your comment about teaching high school as your excuse for reading Twilight.

You did “list” your activities, and while I would normally say that lists are sometimes hard to read, the numbering and making them into readable, topical, phrases works, as far as I’m concerned.

All the best,

~Kate
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #4  April 6,2010, 6:40pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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cosmos

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Looks good to me. Didnt I read youve only been on Eh for a few weeks?
Give it some time.
 
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angloaustralian is offline angloaustralian Post #5  April 7,2010, 1:21am
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I do see what you mean. The fix may be to increase the number of sentences, reduce the number of commas and "ands".

I liked your response for the "Last book I read" question. I've not seen a split response like this before. About the last two sentences, though ? A more conventional sentence order and less sardonic delivery may be of benefit.

Welcome to eHA. Notwithstanding niggles about grammar, your profile conveys a sense of your personality. I think that you may have success with it.
Last edited by angloaustralian; April 7,2010 at 1:27am. Reason: Pot calls kettle black. Pot apologizes
 
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