Irishlass68 is offline Irishlass68 Post #1  April 5,2010, 7:14pm
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I joined Eharmony about a month ago and I have not gotten one single date. I have communicated with a couple guys who seemed interested but never even got to the point of asking me out. When I logged in today I saw that no one has viewed my profile in a week. I have no new matches either. When I open up my communications I see a whole list of matches that have closed communication with me..some without ever having communicated in the first place. Do I need to do or say something differently, or do I just need to give it more time?
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #2  April 5,2010, 7:23pm

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Irishlass68 wrote :
I joined Eharmony about a month ago and I have not gotten one single date. I have communicated with a couple guys who seemed interested but never even got to the point of asking me out. When I logged in today I saw that no one has viewed my profile in a week. I have no new matches either. When I open up my communications I see a whole list of matches that have closed communication with me..some without ever having communicated in the first place. Do I need to do or say something differently, or do I just need to give it more time?
I'm not sure, Irishlass, but you're certainly in good company here. You could try posting your profile on the using eharmony forum and see if you can get some pointers on it.

If it makes you feel better I didn't meet anyone or have any dates during my paid time using eH, either.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #3  April 5,2010, 7:24pm
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Welcome!

Give it more time.

Also, if you're game, why not go over into the Using eHarmony forum and post your profile there for review? The other members will give you feedback which you can choose (if you like) to amend your profile. There are also some workshop links on the different parts of the profile that we did last year. They may be worth a visit.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  April 5,2010, 7:26pm
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Hi Irishlass, We all get frustrated with e-dating from time to time. I can understand where you're coming from.

There are many things that can make the e-dating journey a tough one. Let's start with your profile.

What type of photos do you have posted? Here is a good article related to photos Online Dating 101: Photos

There is also the Profile worskshops for each of the questions.
(eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here)) (eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here))eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here

Many people have asked the community to provide feedback on their profile. There maybe be some cliche's or profile pet peeves that your unaware of, that could possibly be turning-off your matches. If you would like the community to review your profile.. You can post it over in the using E-Harmony forum..

Good luck and welcome to the boards.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 5,2010 at 7:29pm.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  April 6,2010, 8:13am
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Irishlass68 wrote :
I joined Eharmony about a month ago and I have not gotten one single date. I have communicated with a couple guys who seemed interested but never even got to the point of asking me out.
Some men need a little kick in behind to step it up a notch. What I would suggest is, set a number emails you're willing to exchange before suggesting to move to the phone or meeting IRL.
wrote :
When I logged in today I saw that no one has viewed my profile in a week.
I wouldn't be too concerned with this, members can set their profile to show their views as anonymous.

Also a large majority of your matches are going to be non-paying members or inactive members that never turned-off matching. Most of them will only log in during a FCW( free communication weekends)
wrote :
I have no new matches either.
You may want to consider loosing up your match settings criteria. If your distance is set to 30 miles, try expanding it out to 60. Adjusting the level of importance (slide rulers) helps too.
wrote :
When I open up my communications I see a whole list of matches that have closed communication with me..some without ever having communicated in the first place.
My previous post may help with less matches closing you right away.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 6,2010 at 8:34am.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  April 6,2010, 9:20am
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Make sure matching is turned on and try broader settings for things like distance, age, etc.

Start communication with any matches that interest you.

Also realize a month is not very long online. I was on eharmony 4 or 5 months before I met someone in person through it. There are others here who may have taken even longer.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  April 6,2010, 7:03pm
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Irishlass68 wrote :
I joined Eharmony about a month ago and I have not gotten one single date. I have communicated with a couple guys who seemed interested but never even got to the point of asking me out. When I logged in today I saw that no one has viewed my profile in a week. I have no new matches either. When I open up my communications I see a whole list of matches that have closed communication with me..some without ever having communicated in the first place. Do I need to do or say something differently, or do I just need to give it more time?
As mentioned you could post your profile here for review.

The mere fact that you have gotten communication and have only been on eHarmony for a month is far better than I did when I first joined and better than I am doing at the moment. I was on for 7 1/2 months before I got the first response. I currently have 61 matches that I have sent First Questions to and not one is responding.
 
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Rynok is offline Rynok Post #8  April 7,2010, 7:58pm
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I'm always amazed how 61 people can find you uninteresting and not worth talking to/going on a date with. Even if you assume 75% are inactive, that's still 15 people saying "Ya know what? I'd rather wait for the next one. This one definately isn't worth it.".

Why pay for a site to give you matches if you are not willing to reply to people? People aren't that scary, really...

I would assume women get so many dates they simply don't have the time to communicate with most people, but that doesn't seem to be the case as they suffer the same problem from men...so the whole thing is just one big puzzle.

Do you think if you asked out 15 people in real life that they'd all turn you down? Maybe...not sure what the numbers are like there but I think a HUGE portion of people online just assume "There's more fish in the sea, if they don't make a million $ and look like Wolverine I'll just wait for Mr. Right to show up tomorrow morning!"
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  April 7,2010, 8:21pm
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Just because eH matched you does not mean you are a perfect match. It may take 50, 100, 500 or maybe even more matches to find the right one for you.

Remember, you aren't looking for everyone that is matched with you to be interested, just one.
 
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Rynok is offline Rynok Post #10  April 7,2010, 8:27pm
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Yes, it only takes 1. That doesn't make it reasonable to expect that only 1 person ever dates you and that 1 person ends up being "the one".

On a pure matching standpoint, sure there are plenty of people I doubt someone would "match up well" with...but willing to go on a date or two in order to see? I'd think that number is far lower. Thus, if it takes 100 people to get 1 date...and 100 dates to get a relationship...how many people does it take to find "the one"?
 
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