opening new matches and how fast should one communicate ...


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eruption_2007 is offline eruption_2007 Post #1  April 6,2010, 5:30am
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Just wondering what the "norm" is on how fast people respond to a match... If a guy responds the same day is that a turn off? Wait 3 days? 5 days? I'm 41 and figured the dating game is kinda changed by then...
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #2  April 6,2010, 5:46am

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eruption_2007 wrote :
Just wondering what the "norm" is on how fast people respond to a match... If a guy responds the same day is that a turn off? Wait 3 days? 5 days? I'm 41 and figured the dating game is kinda changed by then...
Just respond, no need for silly games.

Right, Wonderwoman?
 
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annother is offline annother Post #3  April 6,2010, 6:08am
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Why wait? I think I'm missing something. Obviously I've been out of the dating game too long, too.
 
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2clueless is offline 2clueless Post #4  April 6,2010, 6:38am
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Eharmony is a timed service. You pay for every day even if you don't use it. I check in every other day and respond to anyone of interest immediately. I don't think it looks desperate. It's efficiency at work.

Plus a large portion of the people won't even be live members anyhow so you might as well not worry about their reactions and just do what feels right for you.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #5  April 6,2010, 9:22am
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I respond whenever I see that it's my turn to, except sometimes when the question might take a while to respond to and I don't feel in the right mood to give it a proper answer.

I don't think there's anything to be gained by intentionally waiting several days- that just gives the other person time to lose interest or meet someone else.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #6  April 6,2010, 9:26am
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when i am actively receiving matches, i respond about every seven days. i do this for a few reasons not the least of which is to manage expectations in frequency of communication. i have had bad experiences with very needy people who became very impatient with lapses in communication of a day or two. lengthening out early communication seems to screen out overly demanding/insecure people.

i also generally do not want things to progress too quickly. i want a slow, measured pace.

yes, i know it can be construed as game playing. i am not terribly worried about that.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #7  April 6,2010, 3:53pm
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hankscorpio wrote :
Just respond, no need for silly games.

Right, Wonderwoman?
I'm not her, but I agree with you wholeheartedly.

I think I'd feel sorry for someone that has timers on their matches and dings them for replying too promptly.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  April 6,2010, 6:43pm
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I usually get my matches (when I get any) very early in the morning. When I get up I review my matches. If I have received any new ones I send First Questions. Should I get a new match in the middle of the day then I will send First Questions when I receive the match.

Should a match actually respond to my communication then I will respond back at least within a couple of hours.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  April 6,2010, 6:45pm
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mrflyer wrote :
I respond whenever I see that it's my turn to, except sometimes when the question might take a while to respond to and I don't feel in the right mood to give it a proper answer.

I don't think there's anything to be gained by intentionally waiting several days- that just gives the other person time to lose interest or meet someone else.
Yes!
 
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