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psgcooldog is online now psgcooldog Post #1  April 5,2010, 6:26am
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Well, here goes ....

I recently stumbled onto the boards here, and I've been having a lot of fun. Already, it's clear to me that for whatever reason, it's a much friendlier place than I've become used to - it very much reminds me of the old HSX100 forum on Compuserve, where I met my ex back in '95.

So, being a self-employed techie, who lives in a rural area and works at home, internet dating is my best avenue for meeting women. My quest is difficult, because I'm looking for brains and beauty - as unpopular as it might be to admit it, my 13-year marriage left me with an aversion to truly overweight women, and I simply cannot go there again.

I'm mostly focusing on women in the age range of 42 to 48, though I've "fished" from 38 to 50.

It's obviously pretty competitive out there; I write what I consider interesting and personal emails to the ones that catch my eye, and get many fewer responses than I'd like.

I'd appreciate any help you gals can give me. So here's what I've got on POF:

psgcooldog : Seeking Julia
City: Kenton Delaware

Smoker? No
Ethnicity: Caucasian with Mixed Color hair
Body Type:Athletic
Religion:Non-Religious
Height: 5' 5" (165 cm)
Age: 52 year old Man
I am Seeking a Woman for Long term











Do you drink? -Socially
Marital Status: Divorced
Profession: Computers/Internet
Smarts: Some college
Do you want children? -Undecided/Open
Do you have children? -Yes

Interests: live music, scuba, motorcycling, sushi, photography, music, dogs, dancing, biking, videography, movies, Golden Retrievers, Corvettes

By nature, I'm very romantic when inspired; I'm looking for one inspiring woman now,
the one I can't resist.

There's an old Robert Palmer tune, "Hey Julia!"
Give it a listen here: http://www.cooldog.com/HeyJulia.mp3

There's a sensation you create,
Robs me of my sleep and I've forgotten the date.

I'm looking for my Julia. Of course, the name is optional...

Are you a woman that understands that men and women are different,
and accepts those differences - even celebrates them?

Are you passionate about life? Not just coasting. Self-aware.

Are you loving and affectionate? If you think of yourself as reserved, you're not the
woman for me. I can tend to be that way at times, and I don't want to be, so it
helps if you are more "up".

Are you bright? Do you like to think, and can you spel?

Do you like music? Does it move you?

I want to feel this way:

If words were more than noises
Only then could I tell you.

If words were more than noises
Only then you would know.

But words are only ghostly echoes of meaning
Fuzzy shadows of the truth
All I can do is speak them,
Form them and let them go.

And hope that meaning stays attached
And the truth you will know.

Our hearts, being wiser,
Don't speak to hearts with words

Our hearts, being wiser,
Speak with touch instead.

For words are only noises
Not reality ...
I just can't only tell you
What you are for me.

Do you believe in openness and honesty?. Life and relationships can be difficult
enough without the added stress of having someone lie to you. Who needs that?
Certainly not me, and I doubt you do either.

Are you considerate and dependable? I used to think it unnecessary to mention. Apparently, I was wrong.

Are you a non-smoker?

Do you like dogs? They are very present in my life. It has been said that my
true name is "Doorman-to-Dogs". Please don't tell anyone, OK?


About me:

I have a nine-year-old son and that puts me in an earlier stage of life. I'm not
yet ready for "geezerhood", so if you're a grandma, you'd better be an unusually spry
one!

My "Wii Fit Age" is 25 (it was a very good day...) Ha! Sure wish I'd gotten a photo
of that screen.

Religion. Hmmmmmm ... well, I'm not religious. I'm not against it, but if
it's a HUGE thing in your life ... I just don't know. In that case, you might
not like me.

I make a mean smoked salmon, prepare sushi at home sometimes, and am generally
good at cooking. I'd love to find a gal that likes to play together in the kitchen!
Preparing a meal together is something that I really miss right now.

While I'm not a musician, I'm into music. Yes, that is the late Robert Hazard (he
wrote 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun', remember?) playing in my living room, and yes,
I'm mixing.

Cooldog Concert Series next show April 18th - Tempest, from California - Celtic Rock!
See: Cooldog House Concerts
Please come on out - I need to put butts in the seats to be able to do this.

My nine-year-old son is the best thing that ever happened to me. While I
can remember what I used to do before he came along, for the life of me I just
can't seem to remember why I thought it was important. Unfortunately, he'll be
spending most of his time with his mother, but alternate weekends and summers are
mine, and we have a blast!

I have two Golden Retrievers, Peter Parker, AKA Spidey-Pup, and Xena
the Warrior Princess. They live here. If I like you, I can guarantee that
they'll love you! Deal with it. Contrary to what's written on a T-shirt I
received for Xmas last year, I do not really eat cats, although I do have a few
recipes on hand, just in case.

I live out in the country, and like it here. It's hard to beat being able to
just leave my office, walk out back to the pond, and spend ten minutes playing
with the bass. Visiting the city can be fun too, and I do it on occasion.

I'm CTO of a small internet business. Lots of flexibility, but also sort of always on
call. I try to keep my notebook with me for emergencies. In the final analysis I think
that it's fair to say that I make my living cussing at computers.

Got rid of the TV service last year, but I do watch movies, and have some pretty
cool whiz-bang technology here for enjoying them -- so much so that there's not much
reason to head out to a theater. Not into horror movies, but just about anything
else will do. The Princess Bride, GalaxyQuest, Frequency, Taken, Adventures in
Babysitting, and The Fifth Element are all favorites. Just fell in love with "The
Time Traveler's Wife". Feel free to distract me all you want during the movie - I
like distraction, have my priorities straight, and know where the pause
button is. I'm really good at giving foot-rubs.

My favorite recreation lately is bicycling. My son and I got going a couple of
summers ago, and he's been doing 15 to 25 mile rides with me. Not bad for seven
(now nine), eh? I'd hope that you might be up for a 20 mile ride on occasion.
You can keep up with me, right?

I've done some scuba diving in the past, and still have my gear. You get extra
points if you're certified too.

When I'm out for live music, I love to dance. Don't really know what the hell I'm
doing, but I can fake "swing dancing" well enough to fool most, and to get you
twirling around a bit.

A few final notes:

I've observed women turn men into girlfriends, and then wonder why they've suddenly
become so unattractive. I've no interest in playing that game.

I'm looking for a lover, in the largest sense of the word. Someone who lights up the room
for me when she walks in, and when she leaves, I'll miss her right away. Someone that
cares enough to take the time to know me, and is brave enough to let herself be
fully known. If you know what that means, and you've made it this far, we should talk.

Oh yeah - I realize this takes time, and nothing is certain, but it's what I want,
and I believe that it's worth looking for and working for.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
First date? Kind of depends on how local we are to each other. Meet for a drink
or for dinner ... I'd certainly like to email and/or talk on the phone a few times
first. With the concert series, my life is pretty much an open book, all over the
net (if you look), so you should be able to see pretty clearly that I am who I say
I am, which should help.

Julia you're a danger!
Just like givin' sweets to strangers.
And I think it's time I took you in hand.

Are you out there? I don't believe we're meant to do this alone.

============================================
Well, that's it. Comments?

Thanks for your time,
Paul
Attached Images
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File Type: jpg pof3.jpg (3.0 KB, 67 views)
File Type: jpg pof4.jpg (3.5 KB, 67 views)
File Type: jpg pof5.jpg (2.7 KB, 67 views)
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #2  April 5,2010, 7:34am

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the first half is too long and actually doesn't give much information. too fluffy and the question format is strange. do you really talk like that?

I think you should state in your profile that you are very athletic or whatever and you want to meet a woman who is in good shape as well. then maybe put your age range up to 55 ( you never know)

anyway. yeah. be more specific and less flowery.
Last edited by scarlet13; April 5,2010 at 7:43am.
 
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psgcooldog is online now psgcooldog Post #3  April 5,2010, 7:43am
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dreams of a place called home ...

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scarlet13 wrote :
the first half is too long and actually doesn't give much information. too fluffy and the question format is strange. do you really talk like that?

I think you should state in your profile that you are very athletic or whatever and you want to meet a woman who is in good shape as well. then maybe put your age range up to 55 ( you never know)
Thanks, Scarlett. The first half on POF is what you're looking for, then the second is the "About Me".

I had rewritten it in that question format on the advice of a female friend who said that women want to read, and see how they might ... like "yes, that's me, I'm ..."

So we'll see what the consensus is, and take it from there.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #4  April 5,2010, 7:46am

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yeah, I know, I've been on POF.

I'm just one opinion, but the minute you posted song lyrics I lost all interest. I think you can do way better.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  April 5,2010, 8:15am
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The profile is too long. Most people don't have time to read a novel just to see if they are interested in responding or contacting you.

The song lyrics - I'd stop reading at that and move on. OK, I'd stop reading at "Seeking Julia" - without actually delving into your profile and finding out what you mean by that, the very first line of your profile reads as if you are in fact looking for this woman. Also, let's say she does continue to read - you are coming across as infatuated with a figment of your imagination rather than trying to find a real flesh and blood woman.

Overall the first part is way too long, not really informative, the question format is weird and way way way too flowery and too heavy handed on romantic and looking to be inspired.

The second part about you - same thing. Way too long, tmi and ultimately nothing in it that would grab a woman's attention and make her think "wow, I must meet this guy."

Overall, you are very busy saying what you want, but what do you offer? You say that you are looking for a gregarious woman - with that comes self confidence. She is not reading your profile from the perspective of "do I meet this man's needs" she is reading it from the perspective of "does he meet my needs and would he be good company." If I were you, I'd scrap this entire profile and start over.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  April 5,2010, 8:18am
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I seriously couldn't read it all. WAY too long. I didn't read the song lyrics, thought it was a poem maybe, because I couldn't get through the thing. I agree with Scarlet that the song lyrics would be a huge "no" for me.

You are 55 yet have only "fished" as high as 50? Who says there won't be some great 55 or even 60 year old woman out there who could run circles around you.

I did like your Wii bit. I could imagine you staring at the screen thinking "wow!" and then running to get the camera before your kid started a new game.

I did skim a bit and there is a negative comment about women turning their men into girlfriends. That would make me say "no thanks" as well.

Just another opinion, though.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  April 5,2010, 8:33am
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I'm not your target audience, but I agree with scarlet.

You have less than a 30 second window to grab a readers attention. The song, links and your concert promotion would make me pass on by..

The first half of the profile is about them, not about you..
When reading a profile I want to learn about that match.Not answers questions about myself. Might be better to incorporate it into you about me section..

Example: Do you like dogs? b/c I have two Golden Retrievers, Peter Parker, blah... blah..

Your about me section is really good, a wee bit long imo..
Last edited by TrekRyder10; April 5,2010 at 8:39am.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #8  April 5,2010, 8:34am
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Whew, that is long. I too stopped reading at the song.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #9  April 5,2010, 9:08am

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I've been trying to think of a way to say this nicely and can't, so Paul please forgive me.

It's like someone with ADD wrote your profile. it's just all over the place- and it's not even the length that bothers me... It's just hard to read.

also, get rid of the cat reference- any woman with a cat will find that piece a little dumb. not because it's offensive but it's just not funny enough.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #10  April 5,2010, 9:25am
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psgcooldog wrote :
Thanks, Scarlett. The first half on POF is what you're looking for, then the second is the "About Me".

I had rewritten it in that question format on the advice of a female friend who said that women want to read, and see how they might ... like "yes, that's me, I'm ..."

So we'll see what the consensus is, and take it from there.

Yes, some women like to read. But when your reading profile after profile.
Some days I am not into reading though, I do the scanning thing.
 
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