physical description other than height


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macgiver is offline macgiver Post #1  December 31,2007, 2:15pm
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E-harmony is the only date sight that does not give any physical
detail in the profile (other than height). I know that I will not feel comfortable with a partner/date if they are too heavy or too skinny in proportion to their height. This is certainly not vain since I obviously will choose a person of a height that is comfortable to me; why then cannot I choose to hold or reject a person's file based on a weight or body stature that I feel is comfortable to me?
If E-harmony supplies me with 10 profiles, must I communicate with all 10 and then ask questions of a person to find if their weight/stature is right for me? Or, is it not better that I see a weight along with the height (in the profile) so that I can concentrate on those that will be more to my comfort when,finally with them,I comminicate.
 
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Coca-Cola is offline Coca-Cola Post #2  January 2,2008, 5:17pm
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eHarmony has many reasons for not displaying weight, and for not considering it during the matching process. It's on their FAQ. Click on the "Help" link on the bottom of any eHarmony page (but not the eHarmony Advice pages) and search the FAQ for 'body type'. I could post the link here but this discussion board is blocking links and URLs.
 
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Pam_S52 is offline Pam_S52 Post #3  January 18,2008, 3:57pm
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Hey Macgiver, I was wondering, don't the photos give you some kind of idea if you would be attracted to someone. I am not very tall and if I were to put my weight in their I believe you would get the wrong vision. I am not a skinny minnie, but I do not consider myself to be a fat either. I believe I am proportionate to my height...lets say I am well balanced, if you know what I mean. I just think sometime the weight can be misleading...it all depends on the person. I am like you too, I have to see a photo and feel some kind of chemistry in what a person looks like. I know what I am attracted to and I do not mean to sound superficial, but I will not lead someone on if I don't feel some kind of spark when I view the photos. We can only hope people are being honest with the pictures they post! I must say too, I like photos of people who are not afraid to smile! I like to see a big smile!! Some of the photos I get actually scare me cause they look so mean!! LOL

Well take care my friend, any comments from anyone would be welcomed.

Pam
 
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drtmcwilliams is offline drtmcwilliams Post #4  January 18,2008, 8:47pm
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I am on the fence with this question. I have wondered why eH did not ask about body types. I then read their response to that question in Help section. I can tell you that as a plus size woman that there are advantages and disadvantages to putting that on the website. I'm one to call a spade a spade, so here goes: It IS discriminating and somewhat shallow to judge people by that alone. Not to say that I don't do it as well, but I accept and embrace that I am being shallow. And, how does one really answer that question? People have a very specific image in mind when they see phrases like "Big and beautiful" or "More to Love." They typically think REALLY obese, which I wouldn't classify myself. And, by whose standards? Pardon me for saying this, but a White man can think anyone above a size 2 is obese while a Black man may see that as anorexic. It all comes down to this, eH is making the assumption that people are trying to find love and see the person for WHO THEY ARE and not WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. An error on their part, though theoretically that is how it should be. We all have those that we are attracted to, and I know women are more forgiving than men when it comes to appearance, but I have certainly found attraction in those I normally wouldn't when I learned who they were as a person.
 
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Injurednotbroken is offline Injurednotbroken Post #5  January 18,2008, 11:03pm
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Weight is really not a good indicator of physique and I agree with Pam_S52 can be a misleader as far as one's personal care and that a picture should give some indication. Weight is really sensitive information. It affects ones' self identity even where one is athletic and weight is one of the results. Maybe asking the person you are interested in on other levels would benefit both you and her. It would benefit her to know that the weight number is important to you. Why not include in your profile what ideal weight in your opinion goes with the height. That way a woman can exclude you from her interests without taking a risk.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #6  January 19,2008, 5:07am

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Ive seen men say this a lot and I just want to scream....men have no clue what women really weigh. Weight is so personal, and most women and celebrities lie about their weight, so no one has a real clue that most women (healthy women) actually weigh 20-30 more pounds in reality than is usually published. Most men would freak if they knew what their girlfriends actually weighed....and dont even get me started on BMI. You cant make a judgement based on weight. Take your chances, and don't be a jerk.

If you are so uncomfortable, only date women with full-length pictures, that should be enough and its much better than weight. Why dont you post your income!? I mean come on! Whatever you do, please dont ask sneaky questions (it will be obvious and annoying) and whatever you do DONT ASK A WOMAN WHAT SHE WEIGHS

We all take the risk that someone wont be who they say they are, and we all waste time with people who are not right for us...its part of dating and life. Take it like a man
 
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Christian1969 is offline Christian1969 Post #7  January 19,2008, 7:42am
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eHarmony has this part of their matching process wrong. Physical attraction is a very important part of any relationship. And no matter how hard you try to match people up by personality alone, you're going to need to consider physical attraction. Especially for us men. We're visual first you know. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. There's nothing anybody can do about that. It's just the way the world works.
 
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quarterhorseguy is offline quarterhorseguy Post #8  January 19,2008, 9:53am
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I' considering joining e-harmony but I have the same concerns, nicely articulated by the way, as everyone who expressed their thoughts on the matter. It's good to see that many people share this concern.

So I have, today (1/08), send e-harmony a query on this issue and am looking forward to their response. I'll be concerned if they don't respond in a constructive and direct fashion. I really hope that they don't reply an obscure and/or self-serving answer.

Quarterhorseguy
 
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jusu4now is offline jusu4now Post #9  January 19,2008, 11:01am
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Sometimes it should not be about the weight. Don't you go by what they look like adn then their personality?
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  January 19,2008, 11:43am

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my response was blocked the first time...here I go again.

Really, men are visual? oh wow, yeah women don't care at all what you look like, sure! Anyway, the full-length photo should be enough, and if your matches don't have one then just wait for one who does. Asking a woman's weight will make her dislike you before you get anywhere and I do not think posting weight would be a good indicator of a person's health or even thier size, I truly doubt men know what women are supposed to weigh, what is a healthy range for her height and shape and even how it correlates to what he is attracted to, I am sure most men *think* they know, but really dont.

Posting weight is a bad, very bad idea and most women would not do it anyway and those who would, most likely would lie.

Dating is never a certainty, no one can completley be sure the person they are meeting is right for them. We all take chances.

Would you post your income?
 
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