AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  April 4,2010, 8:31pm
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I received a request for e-mail from a match. I decided to accept it, not even sure why now. So, I put him on the spot in my reply because his e-mail was three sentences, one a question about how the weather was, one about his parents living in my area and the other just to get back to him. I was quite irritated. Why send me an e-mail if you aren't going to ask me anything. But, that isn't what this post is about.

I responded with a terse "why did you write me if you don't have anything to ask about me?" Yeah, maybe I was in a bad mood or something, but whatever. He responded with "I have some of those automated questions I want to send you, but can't figure out how." I briefly educated him that you can't go back once the e-mail portion had been established. Too bad for him, and me.

I think eHarmony needs to make it VERY clear to the person requesting to skip GC and go to OC that they CANNOT go back to the guided communication. I've never requested the e-mail before GC was completed, so maybe there is something there. But I do know that when I click to accept or decline the e-mail there is nothing that says that we can't go back to GC once I accept the e-mail.

Can you add something to that section at least.
 
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sciencegirl is offline sciencegirl Post #2  April 4,2010, 8:46pm
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you can always just email them questions from the list:
Complete list of canned 2nd questions in eHarmony • eHarmony Blog

And I have to agree with your annoyance at matches not asking questions. I've had a few not ask me any questions in their replies during open communication, and it made me not want to respond since they don't appear to be interested.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  April 4,2010, 8:57pm
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Just a side note. He actually sent a response to my e-mail saying "Geeze Andrea, make me do all the work..." Um, yeah! You are the one who started this. I KNEW I shouldn't have accepted the e-mail.

I told him he could ask me any of the questions from the 1st steps, he just had to go to the list of questions. It's just so frustrating!
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  April 4,2010, 9:41pm
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I got 3 emails from a guy, not responding to anything I said, and just saying "looking forward to getting to know you better".

Sometimes this stuff just doesn't work. Like IRL!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  April 5,2010, 6:37am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I think eHarmony needs to make it VERY clear to the person requesting to skip GC and go to OC that they CANNOT go back to the guided communication. I've never requested the e-mail before GC was completed, so maybe there is something there. But I do know that when I click to accept or decline the e-mail there is nothing that says that we can't go back to GC once I accept the e-mail.

Can you add something to that section at least.
Geez Andie!!

I think there is a disclaimer when you're requesting Eh Mail (fast-track) I am not positive though it's been awhile.

I do know there is an Ice-breaker than can be sent if you were to decline. I can't remember if they are options to send, when declining email request or not

Here is the Ice-breaker.. Let’s get to know each other using GC
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 5,2010, 9:14am
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Am I missing something here

1. I receive a match.
2. I click on the name of the match in the New folder.
3. In big letters it says "Next Step:" with a big red button that says "Send Her a Message".
4. You click on that button, it takes you to the list of First Questions or if you have sent a set of five questions to another match the five questions that you have used before.
5. At the top AND bottom of the list of the five questions that you want to use are big red buttons that say "Send Questions".

Is this so hard to be able to figure out Unless I am dealing with a match that is actually blind I don't think that I would be interested in a match that could not follow along with these steps to send me the first five questions. Maybe I am just shallow
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  April 5,2010, 9:27am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
Just a side note. He actually sent a response to my e-mail saying "Geeze Andrea, make me do all the work..." Um, yeah! You are the one who started this. I KNEW I shouldn't have accepted the e-mail.

I told him he could ask me any of the questions from the 1st steps, he just had to go to the list of questions. It's just so frustrating!
You could go to his profile. Down at the bottom right there is a little link that says "Close Match". Click that and then choose the reason "Other" (unfortunately there is not a reason that says "Match is an idiot" ).

Problem solved
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  April 5,2010, 9:29am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Am I missing something here

1. I receive a match.
2. I click on the name of the match in the New folder.
3. In big letters it says "Next Step:" with a big red button that says "Send Her a Message".
4. You click on that button, it takes you to the list of First Questions or if you have sent a set of five questions to another match the five questions that you have used before.
5. At the top AND bottom of the list of the five questions that you want to use are big red buttons that say "Send Questions".

Is this so hard to be able to figure out Unless I am dealing with a match that is actually blind I don't think that I would be interested in a match that could not follow along with these steps to send me the first five questions. Maybe I am just shallow
You're so cute sometimes!

This particular match send me an e-mail, instead of going through the normal GC process. He was confused as to why he couldn't then send the GC questions. He seems "new" and so I'll cut him a bit of slack there. But his response of "Geez, make me do all the work..." made me realize he didn't really want to get to know ME. That is what bugs me. Like I said, just another reason to not accept those e-mail requests.

I may just click on the request e-mail button to see what the process is. Just so I know what they are seeing and if they are really that "eHarmony techy dumb".
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #9  April 5,2010, 10:08am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I received a request for e-mail from a match. I decided to accept it, not even sure why now. So, I put him on the spot in my reply because his e-mail was three sentences, one a question about how the weather was, one about his parents living in my area and the other just to get back to him. I was quite irritated. Why send me an e-mail if you aren't going to ask me anything. But, that isn't what this post is about.

I responded with a terse "why did you write me if you don't have anything to ask about me?"
In that case I guess I should get upset at 90% of my matches, since they don't have much to say in emails, either. (And it's interested that I've been chided by a few for writing short messages, when the same people said no more than I did.)

Of course replies like yours aren't too helpful unless you just want to chase the person off.

I'm not sure why the obsession with having people ask questions about you- since your profile already talks about you, maybe they've already read enough to decide they're interested. Or maybe they've had others get upset at them for asking too many questions.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  April 5,2010, 12:28pm
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Well, I would think asking me about the weather (please, that is so lame-o) just says that he doesn't really care about who I am.

MrFlyer, I know you had a chance to read my profile on the other thread I started. I think the portion about staying at home more would give reason enough to ask something. Maybe even ask what my circumstances are for going back to school.

I'm leaving him open just to see where he takes this. I told him I expected someone who bypasses the GC stages to want to actually ask me questions, not just banter about the weather. And, I did ask him questions in return. Nothing heavy, and nothing from the 1st questions list.

If he does close me for my terse response (as I know it was) then so be it.



And I did check the request e-mail section. There is nothing on that page that says you can't undo this, only that if the person declines you can continue on with GC. They really need to add something. Not everyone "knows".
 
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