rheebird is offline rheebird Post #1  April 4,2010, 8:01pm
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Okay so I was matched with this guy who seems like a really good match for me. I don't want to say perfect because I've been on Eharmony long enough not to fall for just the profile. I initiated the guided communication and sent a nudge when I didn't get a response. His profile says he's a captain in the Army so I'm guessing that he could be a pretty busy guy. He hasn't viewed my profile (but he could be one of those anonymous views!. My question is this, would it seem to desperate if I sent him an icebreaker or switched over to fast track and sent an email. Of course there's always the possibility that he's a non-subscriber and I should just move on, but with the amount of closed matches I've been getting, I'm starting to get a little disenchanted with Eharmony and I was just hoping to get a little positive reinforcement with this match. So any advice?
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  April 4,2010, 8:20pm
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If he is in the Army he could be deployed. He could also be a non paying member. I do wish there was a way to find out if they are at least active. That would let us at least not wonder if they are ignoring us or just not using their account.

Give it a bit of time. There is no harm in leaving your match open and letting it sit until the next FCW.
 
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DrTonya is offline DrTonya Post #3  April 4,2010, 8:23pm
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Since you are a paying member, I would not use an icebreaker - that is usually the first way people can differentiate between the paying and non-paying members.

Since you have already sent him a request for communication and a nudge, I would sit back and wait it out until at least the next FCW where the non-members are given the opportunity to communicate without subscribing. If you go to FastTrack now, if he is a non-subscriber, he will not be able to communicate with you at all unless he purchases a subscription (even on FCW non-subscribers cannot communicate using FastTrack).

Something else to think about - if he is in the Army, he may also have been deployed since setting up his profile and never thought to turn off matching or take it down.
Last edited by DrTonya; April 4,2010 at 8:24pm. Reason: LOL..Andie & I wrote our responses at the same time and said the same thing. Great minds....
 
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DeltaKing is offline DeltaKing Post #4  April 5,2010, 6:01am
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Yesterday, I sent icebreakers to three matches whom I hadn't heard from in a week after sending initial messages. (I never use the nudges.)

Within hours, two of them had answered my initial questions.

It's a viable strategy.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  April 5,2010, 6:29am
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As mentioned, being in the Army he could be deployed and not have regular frequent access to eHarmony.

However, the more likely situation is that he is a non-paying member. Most (about 90%) of your matches are going to be non-paying which means that they can't respond. Most non-paying members are also non-active meaning they never view or close.

Also as mentioned, there is nothing wrong with leaving your matches open (for a long time). So just leave him open while moving on to your other matches.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 5,2010, 6:36am
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DrTonya wrote :
Since you are a paying member, I would not use an icebreaker - that is usually the first way people can differentiate between the paying and non-paying members.
...
Yes.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  April 5,2010, 6:59am
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I think AFTER she has sent the first questions it would be OK to use an ice breaker. She has already "told" her match that she is a paying member by sending those.
 
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rheebird is offline rheebird Post #8  April 5,2010, 7:24pm
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Thanks for all the advice guys! I appreciate it. I think I'll leave it open for a while longer and maybe send an icebreaker near the middle of the month.
 
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