LittleHugBug is offline LittleHugBug Post #1  April 3,2010, 5:18pm
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I have a two part questions - first, should I ditch Guided Communication and just try Fast Track? I like GC because it lets me ask questions relating to things not mentioned on profiles that I would consider "deal-breakers". I look at it as trying to save time and avoid unnecessary awkwardness. If we aren't as compatible as we thought we can both be off and exploring better matches. But guys don't seem to have the patience or stamina for GC.
Secondly, is there anything (probably not but I thought I'd ask) that I can do to get out of the GC wasteland intact when I do get into it with a match? I am experiencing an annoying pattern: one of us initiates contact, we trade questions and answers, sometimes even up to Open Communication (!) and then...nothing. Nada. Zip. The guy falls off the grid. No close, no hold, no $@(#$! nothing! This is humilating to admit but I've never gotten far enough with any match to get a face-to-face meeting. Are there really that many flakes in the world and they're all being matched with me or is there some other factor I haven't considered? What can I do differently?
I know that life happens. I know I've gone a couple weeks w/out even thinking about EH much less logging on so I can't point fingers but I always do something eventually. I'd rather be closed out by 20 guys then just have them all melt into nothingness.
The worst thing right now is, just when I got up the guts to dive in again, it's happening again. This guy is one of the best matches I've ever had and I know it's out of my hands now but...dang it! Our Q&A were great, our MH/CS's matched, great opeing email...now? *crickets* Now I agonize: if I email him again will I kill it by seeming to needy? I know the balls in his court but I want to yell at him "don't sit on it, hit it back! I still want to play!"
I can't keep doing this. I joined EH to meet someone. What else can I do?
Last edited by LittleHugBug; April 3,2010 at 5:22pm. Reason: additional info/thought
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 3,2010, 5:21pm
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I think, when it comes to dealing with fine Men, it is okay to use the fast track if you wish (women can be frightened by quick men, but men tend to be interested and intrigued.)
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #3  April 3,2010, 6:03pm

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LittleHugBug wrote :
I have a two part questions - first, should I ditch Guided Communication and just try Fast Track? I like GC because it lets me ask questions relating to things not mentioned on profiles that I would consider "deal-breakers". I look at it as trying to save time and avoid unnecessary awkwardness. If we aren't as compatible as we thought we can both be off and exploring better matches. But guys don't seem to have the patience or stamina for GC.
Secondly, is there anything (probably not but I thought I'd ask) that I can do to get out of the GC wasteland intact when I do get into it with a match? I am experiencing an annoying pattern: one of us initiates contact, we trade questions and answers, sometimes even up to Open Communication (!) and then...nothing. Nada. Zip. The guy falls off the grid. No close, no hold, no $@(#$! nothing! This is humilating to admit but I've never gotten far enough with any match to get a face-to-face meeting. Are there really that many flakes in the world and they're all being matched with me or is there some other factor I haven't considered? What can I do differently?
I know that life happens. I know I've gone a couple weeks w/out even thinking about EH much less logging on so I can't point fingers but I always do something eventually. I'd rather be closed out by 20 guys then just have them all melt into nothingness.
The worst thing right now is, just when I got up the guts to dive in again, it's happening again. This guy is one of the best matches I've ever had and I know it's out of my hands now but...dang it! Our Q&A were great, our MH/CS's matched, great opeing email...now? *crickets* Now I agonize: if I email him again will I kill it by seeming to needy? I know the balls in his court but I want to yell at him "don't sit on it, hit it back! I still want to play!"
I can't keep doing this. I joined EH to meet someone. What else can I do?
A good start would be to stop closing people flippantly as you described in another thread you started.

The larger the pool you allow yourself to have a real shot at the better chance you'll have at meeting someone you can really love and have a great relationship with.

As for your actual question, try not to pin all your hopes on people you've never met before on eH. It's for exactly the same reason you shouldn't be flippantly closing people out for reasons like "they have 'living life' in their 'most passionate about' profile field".

What is in someone's profile or their communications can be almost irrelevant to how you'll actually feel about them, so put less weight on every silly little thing on eH and meet more guys rather than trying to figure out nitpicking reasons to eliminate them before you can actually have any notion of knowing them.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #4  April 4,2010, 5:28pm

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Wow, I think this must be the first time one of my posts actually made it through the mod purgatory and didn't just disappear.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  April 4,2010, 8:53pm
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LittleHugBug, I can understand wanting to jump from GC to OC as quickly as possible, but you have to consider a few things first.

Some of your matches will not be paying members. So, leaving them until the next FCW would be a better option that jumping around the communication board with nudges, questions, ice breakers and whatever else they decide to throw in there.

A little hint on how to get your name in front of them when they first log on... update your profile. If you do, you will pop up on that list they see when they first log on.
 
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sciencegirl is offline sciencegirl Post #6  April 4,2010, 9:07pm
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Don't feel bad about not meeting anyone in person yet. A lot of online dating is luck. It took me a while to meet someone in person too so don't give up. I had many stop at all the stages of communication. Best of Luck to you!
 
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