All matches are not what I'm looking for?


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kimbirdy is offline kimbirdy Post #1  April 2,2010, 8:51pm
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Okay, I've been doing the EH thing for a few weeks now. While I don't expect to necessarily find the perfect match right out of the gate, 95% of the matches I've gotten so far are the exact opposite of what I'm looking for.

Now, no offense to anyone at all, but nearly all my matches are for high-school educated, blue-collar, Harley-riding guys who wouldn't touch a book to save their mothers. It's almost like EH said, "Hey, here's your type!" and now that's all I get. I thought I was pretty clear in my preferences that what was important to me was education and being well-read. I know that's not the end-all, be-all to finding the right guy, but these things are important to me.

What am I doing wrong? Is there any way to go back and review all the match questions so I can see if maybe I answered something incorrectly?

This is my first time posting here, so be gentle...
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #2  April 2,2010, 9:48pm
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There are a couple rules of thought here. Often times what we're looking for and who would be a good match often differ. Think about how many times you've heard people mention why they seem to get involved the wrong people.

As far as what you may be looking for versus what compatibility you are could be in conflict. In the questionnaire there are various questions referring to intellect and education, I'm guessing you selected Strongly on these or Very Important?

You can also check your settings in the Education Level as well. eHarmony also applies their 'flex' dating. You can read about that for a more detailed explanation.

If you're not jiving with your matches you may want to contact Customer Service and see if they'll let you do the questionnaire again, just remember you still want to be honest with your answers and not try to maneuver your responses to cater to a certain type match.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  April 2,2010, 9:59pm
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You may want to take a look at your settings. Sometimes just being more flexible in those areas will make more appropriate matches pop up. You can also talk to eH customer care and ask if there is something else you (or they) can do to find you matches more to your liking.

I too find some of my matches to be very odd. They want (or are) yoga practicing, vegetarian, environmentalists. I'm... definitely not. They seem to come in batches, too. Sometimes all of my matches will be from the same city, or very close together at the least. Or all have very similar jobs. Or maybe most of them have the same first name. I find it odd.

Now, if all of your matches are like what you have described and you have been receiving them for more than a couple of days, you might need to call eH customer care sooner than later.

PS, when you do call, just stay on the line when it says they are busy. I do and get my call answered within a minute or two, every time.
 
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kimbirdy is offline kimbirdy Post #4  April 2,2010, 10:13pm
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Thanks for the feedback -- this will be my first time contacting customer service!
 
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kimbirdy is offline kimbirdy Post #5  April 2,2010, 11:43pm
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Interesting -- I completely revised my profile and suddenly the matches are better. If the matching is based on the questionnaire, how is this even possible?
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #6  April 2,2010, 11:49pm

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kimbirdy wrote :
Interesting -- I completely revised my profile and suddenly the matches are better. If the matching is based on the questionnaire, how is this even possible?
I think it depends on how you answer yours and how they answer theirs.
 
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mari3434 is offline mari3434 Post #7  April 3,2010, 12:00am
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I was on Eh quite some time ago - I am not anymore due to simply not having time to invest in a relationship. However, I experienced the same things as you did- odd matches. In fact, all my matches in the same geographical area were all blue collar workers with maybe Grade 12 education as their highest level of education. Not that this is bad by any means - but odd given that I am highly educated and in a white collar profession. It may have been simply that EH did not have any matches in my area that were highly educated and the compatible 29 dimensions together- it didn't really cross my mind that it may have had something to do with the manner in which I completed the survey.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  April 3,2010, 12:52am
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I forgot to mention how you fill out your profile. I find that if I mention something in my profile, it seems to pop up in my matches profiles.
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #9  April 3,2010, 9:37am
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kimbirdy wrote :
Interesting -- I completely revised my profile and suddenly the matches are better. If the matching is based on the questionnaire, how is this even possible?
The whole premise of eHarmony is to match people based on their personality (compatibility), thus the process of the questionnaire.
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #10  April 3,2010, 9:41am
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mari3434 wrote :
I was on Eh quite some time ago - I am not anymore due to simply not having time to invest in a relationship. However, I experienced the same things as you did- odd matches. In fact, all my matches in the same geographical area were all blue collar workers with maybe Grade 12 education as their highest level of education. Not that this is bad by any means - but odd given that I am highly educated and in a white collar profession. It may have been simply that EH did not have any matches in my area that were highly educated and the compatible 29 dimensions together- it didn't really cross my mind that it may have had something to do with the manner in which I completed the survey.
Then I suppose this raises a question about personality versus education. I don't think they are part and parcel. A person is a person, their personality at least to me isn't a reflection of their education as much as the essence of who they are. You know, the substantive part of what makes relationships work than comparing degrees.
 
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