greg75 is offline greg75 Post #1  April 2,2010, 1:00pm
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I finally decided, why waste my time going through a "guided" communication with a girl who's profile seems to be exactly what I am looking for? So, I decided to take the bull by the horns and skip to open communication. Is that too pushy or do you consider that going after something you really want? This girl's profile mirrors exactly who I am and what I am looking for.

Hope she doesn't think I'm too forward!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 2,2010, 1:06pm
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I think people can select which one they prefer.

My guess is that you should choose what she wanted, or she is likely to react negatively - that you "can't even bother to read her profile."
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  April 2,2010, 1:09pm
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It's OK. But if she rejects it. Send her GC then. It doesnt mean she totally has rejected you. The one time I got one of those. I turned it down then I sent my questions. she may not. So keep trying.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  April 2,2010, 1:23pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I think people can select which one they prefer.My guess is that you should choose what she wanted, or she is likely to react negatively - that you "can't even bother to read her profile."
With the most recent upgrade, profiles no longer indicate your matches preferred method of communication.

greg75 wrote :
I decided to take the bull by the horns and skip to open communication. Is that too pushy or do you consider that going after something you really want?
IMO It's not too pushy. As DL said it can go either way. It's been documented on these boards. Some people will find it off-putting. As one of the main reasons they joined eH was the GC process.

Without knowing her preferred method. The good news is, if she doesn't want to go straight to eH mail. She can decline the request for OC and ask you to go through the GC process.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #5  April 2,2010, 1:47pm
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One thing I did mention to her in the email was that I read her entire profile and felt that we had a lot in common. Which I did. I had sent her opening questions several days ago and decided what did I have to lose? If she closes it, she closes it. If she wants to do GC, that's fine. But I figured waiting for GC responses from several of my matches isn't getting me anywhere..why not try a different approach?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  April 2,2010, 1:49pm
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I'd keep track in a spreadsheet what the effects of each method are.

If you find a clear difference, there's your answer.
 
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Salsera713 is offline Salsera713 Post #7  April 2,2010, 6:11pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I'd keep track in a spreadsheet what the effects of each method are.

If you find a clear difference, there's your answer.
Can I just say how happy I am that I'm not the only one that uses a spreadsheet to keep track of things on EH?! Thank you for making me feel just a little bit less like 'that stereotypical engineer' Of course, next you're probably going to tell me you're an engineer too...but at least I'll have someone to share the engineer boat with

As for going straight for OC, I agree with everyone here, depends on the person. I've gone both ways, but don't think I would go straight to OC if I had questions based on the profile.
 
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dermit310 is offline dermit310 Post #8  April 3,2010, 6:40am
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hoping for better results.

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greg75 wrote :
I finally decided, why waste my time going through a "guided" communication with a girl who's profile seems to be exactly what I am looking for? So, I decided to take the bull by the horns and skip to open communication. Is that too pushy or do you consider that going after something you really want? This girl's profile mirrors exactly who I am and what I am looking for.

Hope she doesn't think I'm too forward!
I say go for it. Just don't do what my match did... He sent me an ehmail and told me all about how interesting he thought I was. He even made a joke about a few things and I thought he was pretty funny... so I responded. Then I never heard from him again. And my response was pretty normal as far as I was concerned, so I know it wasn't my fault, lol.

But I'd say as long as you keep it going (or attempt) then go for it!

Good luck!
 
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