steviejay is offline steviejay Post #1  March 30,2010, 2:41pm
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I've been getting a lot of matches lately of women with no photos. If their profiles seems interesting enough, I have to request their photo. I've been told by my women friends that possibly they do this for "safety." That they want to get to know the man (me) a bit first before letting me know what they look like.

I can certainly understand a woman's desire to be safe. But part of me says, wait a minute, what's up with that? What makes you think a man would be interested in you when he doesn't know what you look like?

I realize looks aren't everything, but you can tell a lot about someone by what they look like. Things such as are they approachable and open, do they look happy and centered, or are they tight and closed down, unhappy and unapproachable?

I'd like to hear if any of you have also gotten a lot of no-photo matches and what you think of no photo versus photo.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  March 30,2010, 7:50pm
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steviejay wrote :
I've been getting a lot of matches lately of women with no photos. If their profiles seems interesting enough, I have to request their photo. I've been told by my women friends that possibly they do this for "safety." That they want to get to know the man (me) a bit first before letting me know what they look like.
There is some truth to that, I've always found it to be an excuse. E-harmony is a closed site, unlike other e-dating sites that anybody can search and view your photo.

wrote :
I can certainly understand a woman's desire to be safe. But part of me says, wait a minute, what's up with that? What makes you think a man would be interested in you when he doesn't know what you look like?
Fact: men are visual..

wrote :
I'd like to hear if any of you have also gotten a lot of no-photo matches and what you think of no photo versus photo.
About 90% of the time on eH, Profiles without photos are usually non-paying members from FCW( free communication weekends) who cannot communicate with you anyways.

Every so often a well written photoless profile might grab my attention, and I'll send the first set of questions. I no longer chase people down to post photos. I've never had good results when I did.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; March 30,2010 at 8:20pm.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #3  March 30,2010, 8:01pm
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Funny, I've been having the same issue with men's profiles--several well-written profiles with no pictures.

Sorry, but if I don't know what a guy looks like, there's no way in the world I'm going to go out somewhere to meet him. And with the careers I'm seeing listed (of course I realize this could be, "When I grow up I want to be ________" or "Before my company downsized and eliminated my position, I was __________") there should be no issue with having or using a digital camera or paying for the membership.

How am I going to know who to look for without a picture? With my luck, the guy who shows up will be on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted!
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #4  March 30,2010, 8:11pm
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I have seen these posts before, but it interested me because I am on a different dating site also that allows you to instantly message a match. I received a response to talk with a match that didn't have a photo. I didn't respond.

He just sent me a message and asked why I didn't respond to him. I indicated that I have learned not to respond to those without a photo because I didn't want to become invested in someone or have them become invested in me if there is no attraction.

Too harsh?
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  March 30,2010, 8:18pm
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newbie40something wrote :
I have seen these posts before, but it interested me because I am on a different dating site also that allows you to instantly message a match. I received a response to talk with a match that didn't have a photo. I didn't respond.

He just sent me a message and asked why I didn't respond to him. I indicated that I have learned not to respond to those without a photo because I didn't want to become invested in someone or have them become invested in me if there is no attraction.

Too harsh?
Absolutely not..
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #6  March 30,2010, 8:21pm
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Lots of men's profiles also have no photos. As a formerly paid member who now only participates on FCWs (but has a full profile and photos posted), I can't see photos on eH anyway. But I still won't meet a guy without first exchanging photos. I met a guy without seeing a photo first once or twice in the past (long ago) and regretted it.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  March 30,2010, 8:23pm
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brneyedangel wrote :
How am I going to know who to look for without a picture? With my luck, the guy who shows up will be on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted!
and here we have a new close reason for EH's consideration

Because I saw your picture on the FBI's 10 most wanted list.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #8  March 30,2010, 8:31pm
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Ok...This thread is very timely. This match just sent me 3 more messages. He said he could send me photos to my email account. I said I would prefer to go through the dating website. He then sent another message saying "Don't you have a yahoo email account set up for something like this? I'm not interested in your personal email." Then right after that he posted his photos on the website and sent them to me.

I need some quick advice. I am not interested. The thing is, he is African American and I am afraid that he is going to think that is the reason. It's not. I am just not attracated. I have responded to and have been interested in African American matches in the past and actually very recently.

I don't know how to respond to him.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #9  March 30,2010, 8:52pm
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newbie40something wrote :
I don't know how to respond to him.
Mary.. if it's Match, I would just use the systems not interested / No thanks response and block him. He sounds like he won't just go away, even if you sent a polite email.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #10  March 30,2010, 8:58pm
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Yep.......I am blocking him. He keeps sending me emails asking why I am so guarded and suspicious. I tried explaining and that doesn't seem good enough.

This is why I don't respond to matches with no photos!!!
 
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