MW77009 is offline MW77009 Post #1  December 31,2007, 10:41am
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I have always been curious. Why do some women
decide to wait till later to show their photo?
 
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beloved0000 is offline beloved0000 Post #2  December 31,2007, 8:08pm
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Same reason guys do...cuz they're unsure of posting a photo online. Or in one instance I had...he was really conceited and didn't want anyone to want to get to know him based on his looks alone. Of course his profile conveyed that without the photo. "The build up". The "c'mon now, you know you wanna see my photo" ploy. What that particular guy didn't realize, I closed him because of the conceit. That would be one of my Can't Stands if it were available, or if others wouldn't be more condusive. Who knows. Maybe they're just really shy and it's just the opposite. They don't have any confidence in what they look like and are used to getting rejected because they don't look as good as most guys expect women to look. There seems to be an awful lot of that going around. Women are all too aware of the fact that men require nothing less than perfection when it comes to looks. I know women do it too, but speaking as a woman, I can tell you, I get a little tired of being judged cuz I'm not a size 5 with perfect skin. I post a photo that shows "me". I Photoshop what I can to clean it up a little, but if I want someone with confidence in themsleves, I dang well better show I've got confidence in myself 1st. So I post my photo. At 1st, when I 1st joined eHarmony, I was petrified at the thought of some strange man "checking me out" online, so I wouldn't post a photo. That's been several yrs ago, alot has changed, I have more confidence in this online matchmaking stuff, so I can, without reservation, post my photo upfront. So maybe they're new to this, maybe they're conceited, or maybe they're not as attractive as they've been communicated they need to be. Nobody wants to be rejected based on their photo, but sadly, alot of men AND women do that.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #3  January 1,2008, 9:44am
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I didn't have a photo to post. Finally found one that was three years old, and posted it WITH the disclaimer that I was a little grayer and twenty pounds lighter now. Some of us just don't own cameras, don't have anyone to take a picture, and can't afford professional shots. Another reason, something that crossed my mind and could potentially "freeze" someone very shy, is the idea of the photo being seen by someone you know in daily life (and that would be a match, if they saw it, but not someone you want to date at all!)
 
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MW77009 is offline MW77009 Post #4  January 1,2008, 12:59pm
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Oh, I hate the slow reveal game. Women, typically the stuck up ones, play that too. I see that as a huge red flag. I had one the other day where she went on and on about how successful and good looking she was and how she had no time for guys who could not handle that. There was not photo but the match chooses to wait till later thing was there. She had closed me out within two minutes of when the match was made, giving the impression that Cinderella spent her days and nights waiting by the computer for prince charming to grace her in box. If she had not closed me out, I would have done the deed myself. NEXT! Beloved0000, I do not think all men are that focused on the perfect physical specimen. If they are that vain, NEXT! None of us are perfect. For me, a bright personality, nice smile, and good character trumps 36-24-36 (or whatever these measurements are purported to be). I have been out with really beautiful women who were wrecks. NEXT! I have been out with women before who were plain but really great and sexy people. It's the whole package. Finally, I have also been matched with people whom I know. I just close it out, no harm, no foul.
 
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beloved0000 is offline beloved0000 Post #5  January 1,2008, 4:45pm
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Mytwocents in GA...I've always wondered if famous people ever get online looking for love. You know their dating pool probably shrinks after awhile. That's an interesting thought. I would imagine it would be difficult being a well known face in the media. MW...I only say what I say from experience. It never fails. I meet a guy that tells me how hot I am, full of compliments, and eventually it comes out...do you think you could possible loose about 20 pounds? Sure, I'll get right on it...I'm w/you, MW. I go for personality, confidence, stuff like that, before looks every time.
 
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mytwocents is offline mytwocents Post #6  January 1,2008, 9:02pm
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You asked a good question, MW77009. I choose to wait and make sure I don't know a match before I reveal my photo. Why? Because I have two very public careers in my area and I am a bit apprehensive about people who see me frequently not only knowing that I am on an online dating service, but seeing my personal info. I try to make sure all my communications and pictures are honest and "wholesome", but I still like to know who I'm dealing with before I reveal who they're dealing with . Silly... I know, maybe a bit controlling. I say all that, and then have my picture posted with this blog where anyone and everyone, not just my matches can see it. Ah well. I've been on the service for several months and am getting a bit more confident in it now. It's not about how I think I look. I figure the right guy will be attracted to me, so I don't worry about the ones that aren't (and there have been those). I had one guy ask to see my photo and then promptly close the match. His loss. When you get matched with people you know, do you just laugh it off the next time you see them? Or do you explore a possibility you haven't considered before? I read one posting where a woman was matched with her ex-husband. I think they actually got back together! Life can be funny that way.
 
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rhondandallasnowhouston is offline rhondandallasnowhouston Post #7  January 19,2008, 3:35pm
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I think that women don't want to seem to desperate. They have probably been on the other sites (i.e. yahoo, match) and are desperate to find a relationship with someone more inclined to want a relationship that lasts longer than the chat it took to meet them. It could be ego....that as soon as he gets to know me...and then see's how fabulous I am...He's mine. I prefer those who post their pic. And why aren't you on my list MW7009, you certainly have more to say than most. It's refreshing.
 
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nevloa is offline nevloa Post #8  January 21,2008, 4:09pm
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Beloved0000,
You are so right. I have a theory now, most man look at women physical appearance before they think about her personality, but most men from California only look at physical appearance. Now when I get online at eharmony, if the address is anywhere from CA I simply close the match, because those guys I found in my experience are worst. The ones that make six figure income are the same way regardless of where they from. You can find in there profile the mention of “good provider” or “well provider” or simply they make a six figure income. These guy you simply close and check other because there is not enough words to explain why. MW77009, I believe that you may not be one of those who look at more than physical at the end, but that is the first thing you look at. The truth is, it is part of who you are. Scientifically men are first attracted visually. The point is, don’t let this be the only way you decide if you are going to get to know this person or not. God bless.
 
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