Profile Review?

Wow, that's a tough one. I've usually only relied on myself for motivation to be the person I want to be. If I had to choose, I'd go with a former friend of mine -- we unfortunately had a falling out a few years ago, and he's the type to hold grudges so we're no longer friends despite my tries, but our several years as best friends influenced who I am and how I view the world. He made me a more analytical person, and constantly challenged the way I viewed the world. Things aren't always what they seem, but sometimes they are, and Occam's Razor takes hold. He also influenced me directly with his negative traits - traits I know to avoid.

Personality - Nobody can go out every night. We can make fun out of "boredom"; to do so we need to enjoy each other's company, whether it's cooking together, watching TV, playing a game, etc.

Looks - You don't have to be a model, just care enough about your own self-worth to be healthy and presentable. You have to love yourself and be comfortable with who you are before you can truly love anyone else.

Brain - I enjoy intelligent conversation, but at the same time, there's nothing wrong with random, idle conversation. I take a shotgun approach to life; sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss, but you never know until you take the shot.

That depends on the context. If we meet through a friend may you'll notice my sarcastic, witty sense of humor or my occasional silly randomness. If we meet at work or a "tech" store, maybe you'll observe my passion for technology. Perhaps you're having a rough day, and we'll engage in conversation at a random store or a park, in which case you'll realize my sympathetic nature of conversation and my empathic ear.

Of course, it also depends on you. Which one will you notice?

I'm a geek and I wear the title proudly. It's a large part of who I am, but it's not ALL I am. Some of it's influence is quite stereotypical: I can almost control computers with my thoughts alone, I love tech gadgets, I think Firefly is one of the best TV shows ever, I enjoy gaming, I got good grades in school, I'm very analytical, I have no musical rhythm except in my head but I've been told those voices are wrong, and I'm terrible at playing sports.

But I'm more than that. I'm the sum of all my parts. I'm not a closed-off recluse. I never lived in my mother's basement. Star Trek & Wars are overrated. I could go on, but I'm out of room.

My computer. I write software for a living!
My two adorable kitties!
Music. It relaxes and invigorates the soul.
TiVo! It can change your life.
Oxygen. No gills so I can't breathe underwater.

I've been reading a lot of Cory Doctorow's works lately. He's a geek/tech science-fiction author, but subtly so. There are geeky references, but you needn't understand them to enjoy the stories. His works really focus more on character development than cliches. His characters are people (except for "I, Row Boat" - the main character is a sentient boat) who experience personal conflict. His stories usually ironically emphasize the faults of the "ideal world of technology" - it brings its own set of problems. Technology doesn't solve the world's problems, it simply trades them for other problems, for better or worse.

I'm immortal. It's true - I can't die. At least I haven't died yet, so therefore I can't die, and must be immortal, right? ...Right? No no, put down that knife. I don't really want to test my theory.

On a more serious note, I don't play games. They're a waste of time and only hurt people. I'm a man of my word. If I express interest in you, it's because I'm *interested*. It's not fake.

I express my mind and will defend my opinions rigorously, but I'll also stop to listen to the opposing viewpoint. If your argument is better than mine, I'm not afraid to change my mind, but regardless, I will always respect you and your wishes and opinions.

I'm not sure why this thread has 0 responses - you might have reposted in another thread - but a few notes:

I'll note that on this read, I have no idea what your gender is. You sound neither particularly masculine nor feminine. That might be what you're going for, just an observation.

The most influential person thing is a total downer and seems like there's a lot of baggage there.

"Most important quality" - you list three things. That's not what the question is asking for. It's asking for most important; you're giving a laundry list.

No issues with the rest of it; I particularly like your approach to the "what's the first thing people notice about you" question.

Hope this helps.

I haven't had much success with my former version of my profile, so when I joined eHarmony I rewrote most of it from scratch. I'll post my old profile in a later post, but have a look and review please:

Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?

Wow, that's a tough one. I've usually only relied on myself for motivation to be the person I want to be. If I had to choose, I'd go with a former friend of mine -- we unfortunately had a falling out a few years ago, and he's the type to hold grudges so we're no longer friends despite my tries, but our several years as best friends influenced who I am and how I view the world. He made me a more analytical person, and constantly challenged the way I viewed the world. Things aren't always what they seem, but sometimes they are, and Occam's Razor takes hold. He also influenced me directly with his negative traits - traits I know to avoid.
So you let something come between you and your most important friend in life. That is a dealbreaker right there for anyone seeking a romantic relationship with you, where there are quite likely to be conflicts aplenty and where resolution sometimes requires both parties to accept that even though they may be "right," they are actually both wrong if they want the relationship to work.


What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
wrote :

Personality - Nobody can go out every night. We can make fun out of "boredom"; to do so we need to enjoy each other's company, whether it's cooking together, watching TV, playing a game, etc.
What I get from this is you don't like to go out that much and you're going to feel put out if the girl does like to go out every weekend or so. This is just fine if that's what you meant to present, bc there are girls out there who will fit this But if that's not what you meant, you might wanta rethink.

Looks - You don't have to be a model, just care enough about your own self-worth to be healthy and presentable. You have to love yourself and be comfortable with who you are before you can truly love anyone else.
OK Dad.

Brain - I enjoy intelligent conversation, but at the same time, there's nothing wrong with random, idle conversation. I take a shotgun approach to life; sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss, but you never know until you take the shot.
Intelligent conversation and you take a shotgun approach to life? Anyway this part is supposed to be about her, but it's more revealing about you. If these attitudes don't appeal to her, she's probably not the girl for you, but I have to say, I don't find a shotgun approach to life very appealing. Sounds like you don't think things through very well and then when it doesn't work out you go oh well that's OK bc you never know until you pull the trigger what you'll hit.
Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?

That depends on the context. If we meet through a friend may you'll notice my sarcastic, witty sense of humor or my occasional silly randomness. If we meet at work or a "tech" store, maybe you'll observe my passion for technology. Perhaps you're having a rough day, and we'll engage in conversation at a random store or a park, in which case you'll realize my sympathetic nature of conversation and my empathic ear.

Of course, it also depends on you. Which one will you notice?
trying too hard here to impress I think. Look just reword these two questions a little bit. First, tell us something distinctive and memorable about you that people notice about you right away. Then tell us something distinctive and memorable that people won't notice right away.


What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?


I'm a geek and I wear the title proudly. It's a large part of who I am, but it's not ALL I am. Some of it's influence is quite stereotypical: I can almost control computers with my thoughts alone, I love tech gadgets, I think Firefly is one of the best TV shows ever, I enjoy gaming, I got good grades in school, I'm very analytical, I have no musical rhythm except in my head but I've been told those voices are wrong, and I'm terrible at playing sports.

But I'm more than that. I'm the sum of all my parts. I'm not a closed-off recluse. I never lived in my mother's basement. Star Trek & Wars are overrated. I could go on, but I'm out of room.
Liked this until the last paragraph. Then you start displaying too much Attitude ... as if people have judged you in the past for being a geek?Anyway I would lose the last part. It's not helping you to argue with the match about what others have said about you in the past.


What are five things that you "can't live without?"


My computer. I write software for a living!
My two adorable kitties!
Music. It relaxes and invigorates the soul.
TiVo! It can change your life.
Oxygen. No gills so I can't breathe underwater.
OK this is fine despite the overused Oxygen entry. ;p~

Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?

I've been reading a lot of Cory Doctorow's works lately. He's a geek/tech science-fiction author, but subtly so. There are geeky references, but you needn't understand them to enjoy the stories. His works really focus more on character development than cliches. His characters are people (except for "I, Row Boat" - the main character is a sentient boat) who experience personal conflict. His stories usually ironically emphasize the faults of the "ideal world of technology" - it brings its own set of problems. Technology doesn't solve the world's problems, it simply trades them for other problems, for better or worse.
less about the book, more about why you like it


Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?

I'm immortal. It's true - I can't die. At least I haven't died yet, so therefore I can't die, and must be immortal, right? ...Right? No no, put down that knife. I don't really want to test my theory.
Nah, I don't care for this, and I am a science fiction nut. Lose it.

On a more serious note, I don't play games. They're a waste of time and only hurt people. I'm a man of my word. If I express interest in you, it's because I'm *interested*. It's not fake.
periods always go inside quote marks! Ok that is a pet peeve of mine. lol Substance — a little too baggage sounding to me but I probably wouldn't close on the statement. I would just be thinking hmm this guy might not be good at resolving conflict ...
I express my mind and will defend my opinions rigorously, but I'll also stop to listen to the opposing viewpoint. If your argument is better than mine, I'm not afraid to change my mind, but regardless, I will always respect you and your wishes and opinions.
sounds like people experience you as argumentative. That's getting close to a deal breaker for me. I might not close you, but I wouldn't open communication either, and I'd be watching for signs you are argumentative.

The guy says in his profile that he is a man of his word ... he talks about his ideal mate not having to be a model but should care about appearance ... typical guy stuff for a profile, so I'm not sure how you missed his gender. It is readily apparent. to me he is a guy.

I overlooked "man of my word" on my read, but the overall point of my comment stands - the profile is very gender neutral.

That includes the model bit. After all, some businesses are actually using fellas as models nowadays. What a crazy topsy-turvy era we live in!

Well, most girls don't talk about visual appearances in what they want in a guy. That's more a guy thing than a girl thing. And so are "shot gun" approaches to life and so on.

I could go on, but there are plenty of guy-centric things in the profile. Bottom line is, it was very easy for me to tell this profile is a guy's profile. I don't think any woman will have any problem getting that. His "guyness" shines through just fine.