AngelaH is offline AngelaH Post #1  March 15,2010, 9:25pm
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Hello all.

I don't like form letters. Here's the latest:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hello,
How are you today?, just given a trail searching for a companion with the same interests, values morals and goals as myself,.. Going beyond just physical attraction.I would like to meet someone that is very realistic and understands the Importance of Communication in a Relationship I am tired of all the nonsense and would like to meet someone that really wants and understands what it takes to have a relationship..and is willing to do what it takes. I have found that very few have the understanding and ability that it takes to, listen and understand,.when it is really important. I guess the reality of all of this is that I am not on here to play games; I am very sincere about finding a true soulmate,companion...and hopefully a true relationship, Honesty, Trust, Dedication and Respect..and knowing how to Respect Each Others Feelings and Concerns is so important.I am a very easy going fun loving person with a very realistic but optimistic view on things with many wholesome interests and values, i will like to know more about you, can u tell add me to your yahoo messenger list so that we can talk ore about ourselves. my id is (***obviously, I deleted this. AngelaH) .... hope to hear from you soon.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Personally, I am not interested in contacting this individual at all. He seems to be using the buck-shot method of bagging a wife - firing a million identical pellets in one general direction and hoping he hits something. That doesn't work with me.

I want a man who actually bothered to read my profile and genuinely saw something interesting or lovable or attractive. I am not interested in someone who pounces on any warm body of the correct gender. And call me crazy, but I'd like him to actually TELL me what was interesting/lovable/attractive to him. (You know, that whole COMMUNICATION thing. Crazy, eh? )

Of course, I've heard the argument that it makes no sense for a man to put time and effort into chasing a woman he doesn't know. Hence, the form letter. My response is to ask him, "Are you trying to show your disinterest as efficiently as possible to as many woman as possible, or are you trying to attract your perfect match as EFFECTIVELY as possible?"

I suggest that instead of spending 10 seconds on each of a thousand woman, you'd have better luck filtering the list to the top 3 and spending an hour each. Isn't it better to KNOW three woman than to have a list of 1000 screen names?

That's my take on it. For myself, when I make the first move, I always send a personalized note and mention what attracted me to that gentleman's profile and what I think we share in common. From my perspective, that is simple courtesy and a much better conversation starter than a form letter!

AngelaH.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  March 15,2010, 9:33pm
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You do realize that this is probably a sc ammer

Asking and providing another way to contact them is usually a dead giveaway. Once they have you outside the service they are not violating any terms of use.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; March 15,2010 at 10:13pm.
 
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Jesisi is offline Jesisi Post #3  March 15,2010, 9:35pm
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It sounds like a generic letter, and the request for you to add him to yahoo messenger, especially if this is the first message he has sent is very odd! Basically he is requesting for you to give him personal information (which comes with your online messenger profile) before you have even had a chance to get to know anything about him. I find this very iffy! They can get your full name and friend lists from your profile. That is too personal way too fast!

You made a good choice in avoiding this sort of message (person). Good luck with your search and future communications!
 
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talldrinkowater is offline talldrinkowater Post #4  March 15,2010, 10:19pm
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That sender would be reported then deleted - cuz they are a scammer.
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #5  March 15,2010, 10:35pm
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When someone gives out a yahoo id in their first communication, it's usually a red flag that they're not legit.

To me, that's the bigger issue than simply being a form letter.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #6  March 15,2010, 10:53pm
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Dear Angela H:

Thank you for your insightful thread. I've been waiting for someone to raise this topic, as I find it to be one of the many important topics pertaining to online dating. I share your opinion concerning this interesting area, and I hope to hear more from you in the future. This forum needs more shared input like yours, particularly on this subject. Good luck!

Last edited by lacedwithhope; March 15,2010 at 10:57pm. Reason: Sorry y'all -- couldn't resist! See how it was shorter and didn't request $ ...
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #7  March 15,2010, 11:58pm
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Usually when i get them they're from Nigeria and a sob story requiring a western union transfer won't be far behind, although i did once have a very long conversation with a woman in Las Vegas who needed to marry an Englishman to get some unspecified surgery over here on the NHS that's either unavailable or too expensive in the US.

Form letters aren't always so bad, sure it's nice if an email references my profile often enough to show that it was actually read but a mission statement does give you a lot to talk about, so long as the things it lays out aren't massively incompatible.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #8  March 16,2010, 12:15am
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lacedwithhope wrote :
Dear Angela H:

Thank you for your insightful thread. I've been waiting for someone to raise this topic, as I find it to be one of the many important topics pertaining to online dating. I share your opinion concerning this interesting area, and I hope to hear more from you in the future. This forum needs more shared input like yours, particularly on this subject. Good luck!


HAW !!!!
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #9  March 16,2010, 1:27am
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It was nicer when spam mail came solely in the mail box ... then at least you could use it to warm your house in the Winter.
 
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angloaustralian is offline angloaustralian Post #10  March 16,2010, 5:01am
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AngelaH wrote :
"Hello,
How are you today?, just given a trail searching for a companion with the same interests, values morals and goals as myself,.. Going beyond just physical attraction.I would like to meet someone that is very realistic and understands the Importance of Communication in a Relationship I am tired of all the nonsense and would like to meet someone that really wants and understands what it takes to have a relationship..and is willing to do what it takes. I have found that very few have the understanding and ability that it takes to, listen and understand,.when it is really important. I guess the reality of all of this is that I am not on here to play games; I am very sincere about finding a true soulmate,companion...and hopefully a true relationship, Honesty, Trust, Dedication and Respect..and knowing how to Respect Each Others Feelings and Concerns is so important.I am a very easy going fun loving person with a very realistic but optimistic view on things with many wholesome interests and values, i will like to know more about you, can u tell add me to your yahoo messenger list so that we can talk ore about ourselves. my id is (***obviously, I deleted this. AngelaH) .... hope to hear from you soon."

Even the content is scattergun in approach, isn't it ? All the right things are said, or at least all the conventional sentiments which the writer believes the reader wants to hear. And yet it is flat. The only parts which convey any emotional expression are the shoutey bits.
 
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