looking4him is offline looking4him Post #1  March 15,2010, 4:48pm
looking4him's Avatar

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 1

See profile

I came across a post with a topic of interracial dating. The person expressed that some/ a lot of people on here aren't open to interracial dating. Just to test this theory I opened up my match settings in the race department. I dont mind dating a guy who is outside my race. As soon as the new matches started rolling in they were instantly closed with other being selected as the reason for closure. What a shame because to me the reason you sign up for a site such as EH is to meet people you would not normally talk to, but if you are closing some one based on their race you might as well save your money and just stick to the people you would normally date.
 
  Reply With Quote
VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #2  March 15,2010, 6:24pm
VB_Girl's Avatar

is working hard for this vacation!

Power Poster

Joined: Feb 2009

Chicago

Posts: 6,946

See profile

You are assuming it was based on race without any basis in fact. I believe the other party also has to have similar settings in order to match (although not positive about that).

Since you opened yourself up, there are more men who can close you for whatever reason.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #3  March 15,2010, 6:30pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

Closed "Other" = don't feel like doing this anymore; I don't like his/her pic; I'm in a bad mood; I don't like his/name; This match's height is all wrong; I don't like his/her occupation; I was hoping for someone younger; He/she doesn't make enough money; His/her taste in music s*u*c*k*s, etc. etc.

 
  Reply With Quote
Jesisi is offline Jesisi Post #4  March 15,2010, 6:48pm
Jesisi's Avatar

is HAPPY!

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2010

AL

Posts: 185

See profile

In EH you set the races of people that you are willing to communicate with. You will not get matched with someone outside of your racial preference for dating. If you picked out a race what was not your own, then you might have been called on it, especially if you picked Asian and are obvioulsy Latino or something else.
 
  Reply With Quote
KuKu is offline KuKu Post #5  March 15,2010, 7:36pm
KuKu's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 92

See profile

I hope your never on a jury where i'm being tried for a crime I didn't commit...b/c i'll be doomed. : ) As others stated, your assumptions are very premature and while that may be at least one of the reason for a small percentage of the reasons you were closed under "other"...i'd doubt it was the main reason. And as stated, allowing for other races creates more potential profiles your way.
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  March 15,2010, 8:08pm
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

looking4him wrote :
I came across a post with a topic of interracial dating. The person expressed that some/ a lot of people on here aren't open to interracial dating. Just to test this theory I opened up my match settings in the race department.
Why the need to test a theory, when it's well known that many people have racial preferences in dating?

If they didn't, there would be no need to let people specify which race(s) they're interested in.

If you don't think these preferences are valid, then neither are preferences based on height, weight, hair, age, religion, or just about anything else.
 
  Reply With Quote
coffeeaddiction is offline coffeeaddiction Post #7  March 15,2010, 8:16pm
coffeeaddicti…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 44

See profile

Yeah I don't understand the point of this little experiment either. You might have achieved as much if you put up an ugly pic of some stranger and then gone "ITS TRUE UGLY PEOPLE DON'T GET DATES".

People won't date people outside their race. So what? That's understandable.

At least you managed to occupy yourself for a good hour or so.
 
  Reply With Quote
uniquegurl is offline uniquegurl Post #8  March 15,2010, 9:40pm
uniquegurl's Avatar

Motto to live by...Breath in, Breath out, move on.

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 69

See profile

looking4him wrote :
I came across a post with a topic of interracial dating. The person expressed that some/ a lot of people on here aren't open to interracial dating. Just to test this theory I opened up my match settings in the race department. I dont mind dating a guy who is outside my race. As soon as the new matches started rolling in they were instantly closed with other being selected as the reason for closure.
My match settings are set for all races and the only men that either initiate communication or respond to me are white (except one). I get closed a lot with "other" and I often use "other". "Other" for me may stand for: to short (I'm 5'10), boring profile, etc. Statistically and surprisingly more black men (almost all of my African American matches) have closed me with "other" extremely quickly. Go figure.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMeAdvice Member-Moderator Post #9  March 15,2010, 10:17pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

I don't see your little experiment proving anything except the few men who you were matched with didn't see you as a good match for them.
 
  Reply With Quote
ClarifyClarity is offline ClarifyClarity Post #10  March 15,2010, 10:50pm
ClarifyClarit…'s Avatar

Joined: Mar 2010

N/A

Posts: 2

See profile

Real quick:

Would you REALLY want to date someone who dislikes you for your race anyways? I know it's a shame, I get that solely for my age, military occupation (which is sad because I was sent home for good after getting FUBAR and they won't have to wait or watch me ship out), the area I live in, the fact that I live on my own and raised myself before I met my mother... The list goes on.

You want to know how I deal with it? Simple, I feel minor reluctant to being judged, but mostly I just feel relieved I won't become attached to one day find my heart on the sidewalk when they say they were "giving me a chance."

Whether or not race WAS their reason, you are better than to be with someone or invest time into someone who makes presumptions based on your skin color.. Or really anything other than "do you make them content or happy."

I apologize for rambling, it's nearly 3am and I just got home from work, but I hope that you alreadyknow what I am saying to be true, and that a reminder of it is all you needed.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder...Is this true? perrfektlyflawed Relationships 21 March 3,2010 2:54pm
Settling...Do Your Profiles Match Your TRUE Self? reddecorator Intelligent Conversation 22 November 16,2009 4:11pm
tell me a true ghost story that happened to you txbubba Chit Chat 14 October 28,2009 9:11pm
True or False! oooh! some things I just can't overlook! What about you? Ladyjuju Dating 36 August 6,2009 1:44pm
True or False question passat1 Using eHarmony 15 July 24,2009 8:50am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:55pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0