Profile review; reaching the 1 year mark!


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jpass16 is offline jpass16 Post #1  March 9,2010, 6:33pm
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Hello everyone! Like most people I've been lurking for a while and with my eHarmony running out in a month, I'm still unsure whether or not I want to keep paying, so I thought I'd sign up and have my profile looked at.

I've been on eH for almost a year now, with only 2 meet ups and no 2nd dates. I don't know if that's exceedingly low but there have been plenty of times I up and ignored eH because I was either too busy (bad excuse) or perusing someone else I had met in person, and opted to stop checking the website. Either way, the past few weeks I've invested heavily into eH and am seeing no results.

I want to make sure my profile is strong enough and isn't holding me back, so I'm craving some criticism here. I know one thing that looks REALLY unattractive is my job. I'm a college grad but it took me forever to land something decent. I start a new Software Analyst job monday pending my background check, but I'm going to hold off on changing that until I get the formal offer.

During the two dates/meetups I had I was living at home, another thing I know held me back. The girls seemed cool about it, given the economy and all, but in the end they had jobs that they could live off of, why would they want a guy without that? Well a few months ago I moved out on my own, so there's another problem solved.

So after straightening out a few things in my life I'm ready to start focusing again on other things, namely finding a partner.

So anyways, here is my profile. I wrote the bulk of it a year ago and haven't changed it too much since. I'll try to include the pictures I have posted.


Basic Information

Occupation: Assistant to online retailer Age: 23 Height: 6' 7" Wants Kids: Maybe
Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic Religion: Christian Drinks: About once a week Smokes: Several times a week

1. What are you most passionate about?
I'm passionate about forwarding myself. Whether it be in a job, or in my studies. I always strive to better myself because I know I will always have room to grow.

2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
My college education
My health
My loving family

3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
My roommates in college. I really lucked out by being able to room with 3 guys who have become my best friends. Having people to count on makes life's obstacles so much easier.

4. The four things your friends say about you are:
 Creative
Happy
Easy-Going
Good Listener
5. What are three of your BEST life-skills?
 Being a good friend and companion
Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings
Achieving personal goals
6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Someone who is positive about most things in life; not having every day be a bad day, not doubting themselves extensively, and able to handle affection and compliments.

7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
That I'm pretty quiet until you get to know me. A lot of people mistake my quietness for apathy, but I'm actually interested in people's stories.

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
That I care about most things more than I seem to.

9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Weekdays I like to relax, watch TV, play my guitar, or sometimes write. Weekends I love getting out and doing as much as I can with my friends, be it seeing a movie, hanging out at someone else's place, or going to the bar.

10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"
Computer
Car
Guitar
Friends
Family

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
I'm finally getting around to reading the Lord of the Rings. I just recently finished Fellowship.

12. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
N/A




I went ahead and attached my photos as well. I only have 1 more uploaded that's me holding my niece. Lord knows I can stand to loose a few pounds; I'm sure that couldn't hurt my chances. I may start going to the gym again once this job starts and I have a little more structure.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!
Attached Images
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redcats is offline redcats Post #2  March 9,2010, 6:37pm
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Look into other sites. I am subscribed to two sites, or a singles club in your area.

jpass16 wrote :
Hello everyone! Like most people I've been lurking for a while and with my eHarmony running out in a month, I'm still unsure whether or not I want to keep paying, so I thought I'd sign up and have my profile looked at.

I've been on eH for almost a year now, with only 2 meet ups and no 2nd dates. I don't know if that's exceedingly low but there have been plenty of times I up and ignored eH because I was either too busy (bad excuse) or perusing someone else I had met in person, and opted to stop checking the website. Either way, the past few weeks I've invested heavily into eH and am seeing no results.

I want to make sure my profile is strong enough and isn't holding me back, so I'm craving some criticism here. I know one thing that looks REALLY unattractive is my job. I'm a college grad but it took me forever to land something decent. I start a new Software Analyst job monday pending my background check, but I'm going to hold off on changing that until I get the formal offer.

During the two dates/meetups I had I was living at home, another thing I know held me back. The girls seemed cool about it, given the economy and all, but in the end they had jobs that they could live off of, why would they want a guy without that? Well a few months ago I moved out on my own, so there's another problem solved.

So after straightening out a few things in my life I'm ready to start focusing again on other things, namely finding a partner.

So anyways, here is my profile. I wrote the bulk of it a year ago and haven't changed it too much since. I'll try to include the pictures I have posted.


Basic Information

Occupation:Assistant to online retailer Age:23Height:6' 7"Wants Kids:Maybe
Ethnicity:White, non-HispanicReligion:Christian Drinks:About once a weekSmokes:Several times a week

1. What are you most passionate about?
I'm passionate about forwarding myself. Whether it be in a job, or in my studies. I always strive to better myself because I know I will always have room to grow.

2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
My college education
My health
My loving family

3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
My roommates in college. I really lucked out by being able to room with 3 guys who have become my best friends. Having people to count on makes life's obstacles so much easier.

4. The four things your friends say about you are:
Creative
Happy
Easy-Going
Good Listener

5. What are three of your BEST life-skills?
Being a good friend and companion
Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings
Achieving personal goals

6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Someone who is positive about most things in life; not having every day be a bad day, not doubting themselves extensively, and able to handle affection and compliments.

7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
That I'm pretty quiet until you get to know me. A lot of people mistake my quietness for apathy, but I'm actually interested in people's stories.

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
That I care about most things more than I seem to.

9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Weekdays I like to relax, watch TV, play my guitar, or sometimes write. Weekends I love getting out and doing as much as I can with my friends, be it seeing a movie, hanging out at someone else's place, or going to the bar.

10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"
Computer
Car
Guitar
Friends
Family

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
I'm finally getting around to reading the Lord of the Rings. I just recently finished Fellowship.

12. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
N/A




I went ahead and attached my photos as well. I only have 1 more uploaded that's me holding my niece. Lord knows I can stand to loose a few pounds; I'm sure that couldn't hurt my chances. I may start going to the gym again once this job starts and I have a little more structure.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!
 
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jpass16 is offline jpass16 Post #3  March 9,2010, 7:10pm
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Oh thanks for the tip. I've started asking a few people I know who are signed up for match.com how well that works. What are some others? This sounds like an expensive option...

Oh wow it says I 'maybe' want kids. I definitely do want them. I wonder if it's said that the entire time :/
Last edited by jpass16; March 9,2010 at 7:12pm.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  March 9,2010, 7:41pm

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Hi Jpass16,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice!

I’m glad you’ve passed from being a “lurker” into being a “poster”. I do have a few ideas that might spark some more interest from your matches.

First, I just want to say that I think the photos are great. I think they show a lot of personality and fun. That will go a long way.

I’ll just make some suggestions on a few sections. First, what you’re most passionate about: Bettering yourself is a good sign – it shows that you’re self-reflective (in a good way) and ready to learn and grow in the context of a relationship. What you may want to add is also something outside yourself that you are interested in. If you don’t know exactly what that is, you may want to add a few sentences about fields that you’re currently exploring, and why you are interested in them.

For who was most influential: again, I think this shows healthiness about your relationship abilities. You may want to mention a few details about what positive things you have picked up from them that you didn’t have in your life before.

For the quality you’re looking for in a match: You may want to look at the negative phrasing of this (e.g. what you don’t want) and just turn it around to something positive – for example, that you appreciate someone who does have a lot of happy days and is confident. This way, you will be more likely to attract the types of matches you’re looking for. You want the ones who will see themselves in your description to respond!

For what you do in your leisure time: Personally, I think you could create some interest by just adding a word or two to describe what kinds of TV shows you like to watch, and what you write. One little detail on your page could be the “bait” that reels in the right kind of “fish”.

And just a note on the book – maybe stating why you liked the Lord of the Rings will add some more interest.

Personally, I think it would help if you did add a little more information in the sections you left blank. Each one of those slots is an opportunity to reveal one little that you have to offer that your match wouldn’t be able to guess.

Good luck, Jpass16. I hope this month goes really well for you.

Sincerely,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #5  March 9,2010, 7:46pm
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No bathroom mirror shots. The one with the glasses on, ditch it.
Where is the part of what you want in the other person? You didnt leave that blank did you?
The maybe on the kids thing? Not a reason your not getting anywhere. Your young not an unreasonable thing to maybe want at your age. But realize most girls will want children and you wont be matched with them.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  March 9,2010, 7:51pm
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jpass16 wrote :
*snip*
1. What are you most passionate about?
I'm passionate about forwarding myself. Whether it be in a job, or in my studies. I always strive to better myself because I know I will always have room to grow.
The word forwarding got me. I find it weird. I think I understand what you mean, but there is a better word. Maybe improving or upgrading? (even that sounds weird)
jpass16 wrote :
*snip*
6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Someone who is positive about most things in life; not having every day be a bad day, not doubting themselves extensively, and able to handle affection and compliments.
Come up with a more positive way of saying this.

Maybe say, who sees the glass half full and enjoys every day without doubting themselves.
jpass16 wrote :
*snip*
8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
That I care about most things more than I seem to.
Give an example. This answer is so vague.
jpass16 wrote :
*snip*
11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
I'm finally getting around to reading the Lord of the Rings. I just recently finished Fellowship.
And you liked it because? It was good how? Expand a bit.
jpass16 wrote :
12. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
N/A
Never put this. Think of something, anything.
 
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jpass16 is offline jpass16 Post #7  March 9,2010, 8:08pm
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Wow thank you guys! Those are great suggestions. Yea I guess a lot of my answers are sort of vague and in need of expansion. I'll definitely use yalls suggestions.

The book thing is kind of hard for me. I read a whole lot of fantasy because I'm a nerd I just feel weird putting them in there I guess, but I'll find a way to make that work.

I'll get rid of those two pictures too and find some better ones.

Thanks again
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #8  March 10,2010, 5:06pm
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jpass16 wrote :
Hello everyone! Like most people I've been lurking for a while and with my eHarmony running out in a month, I'm still unsure whether or not I want to keep paying, so I thought I'd sign up and have my profile looked at.

I've been on eH for almost a year now, with only 2 meet ups and no 2nd dates. I don't know if that's exceedingly low but there have been plenty of times I up and ignored eH because I was either too busy (bad excuse) or perusing someone else I had met in person, and opted to stop checking the website. Either way, the past few weeks I've invested heavily into eH and am seeing no results.

I want to make sure my profile is strong enough and isn't holding me back, so I'm craving some criticism here. I know one thing that looks REALLY unattractive is my job. I'm a college grad but it took me forever to land something decent. I start a new Software Analyst job monday pending my background check, but I'm going to hold off on changing that until I get the formal offer.

During the two dates/meetups I had I was living at home, another thing I know held me back. The girls seemed cool about it, given the economy and all, but in the end they had jobs that they could live off of, why would they want a guy without that? Well a few months ago I moved out on my own, so there's another problem solved.

So after straightening out a few things in my life I'm ready to start focusing again on other things, namely finding a partner.

So anyways, here is my profile. I wrote the bulk of it a year ago and haven't changed it too much since. I'll try to include the pictures I have posted.


Basic Information

Occupation: Assistant to online retailer Age: 23 Height: 6' 7" Wants Kids: Maybe
Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic Religion: Christian Drinks: About once a week Smokes: Several times a week

1. What are you most passionate about?
I'm passionate about forwarding myself. Whether it be in a job, or in my studies. I always strive to better myself because I know I will always have room to grow.
Pretty nondescript as far as passions go. Every profile I see has this or some version of it. You either need to state it much more originally, or come up with something specific you're passionate about. This is kind of the hook ... it's the one that determines if I keep reading about you, so it's kind of important to catch the interest here and to stand out from the crowd.


2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
My college education
My health
My loving family
OK


3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
My roommates in college. I really lucked out by being able to room with 3 guys who have become my best friends. Having people to count on makes life's obstacles so much easier.
fine


4. The four things your friends say about you are:
 Creative
Happy
Easy-Going
Good Listener
5. What are three of your BEST life-skills?
 Being a good friend and companion
Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings
Achieving personal goals
6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Someone who is positive about most things in life; not having every day be a bad day, not doubting themselves extensively, and able to handle affection and compliments.
take out the negative statements about what you don't want. Make this only about the positive things you do want. Negative statements conduct Attitude and/or Baggage ... and that's a deal breaker for most women.


7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
That I'm pretty quiet until you get to know me. A lot of people mistake my quietness for apathy, but I'm actually interested in people's stories.
it never works to claim that what a lot of people mistake about you is just not true in this section of the profile. I usually think when I see such statements that the person really is what other people think, and that the profile writer is just deluded, otherwise so many people would not think so. Pick something positive and memorable about yourself that would make someone want to get to know you.


8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
That I care about most things more than I seem to.
See above.


9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Weekdays I like to relax, watch TV, play my guitar, or sometimes write. Weekends I love getting out and doing as much as I can with my friends, be it seeing a movie, hanging out at someone else's place, or going to the bar.
Rather than bar, I would just put going out. Otherwise it seems fine.


10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"
Computer
Car
Guitar
Friends
Family

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
I'm finally getting around to reading the Lord of the Rings. I just recently finished Fellowship.
And what do you like about these books?


12. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
N/A
Well if you're not going to answer it then put nothing at all. N/A tells me nothing but brings attention to the fact you didn't really answer this. Personally, I suggest putting something distinctive and memorable that will invite contact rather than blowing the question off. If I remember this is the last statement in the profile, so it's your last shot to convince someone to open communication with you.



I went ahead and attached my photos as well. I only have 1 more uploaded that's me holding my niece. Lord knows I can stand to loose a few pounds; I'm sure that couldn't hurt my chances. I may start going to the gym again once this job starts and I have a little more structure.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!
i am sorry to say but I don't really like any of your photos. The one of you smiling on the fireplace is about the best shot you've got. I would suggest having someone take some pictures for you that are more flattering or that at least show you enjoying life a little more.

Good luck.
 
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