What about disabilities and dating?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
pixychic is offline pixychic Post #1  February 22,2010, 4:50pm
pixychic's Avatar

sees nothing but sunshine!

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Whitehouse OH

Posts: 8

See profile

When do you mention you have a disability...in your profile, during email chats, at the first, second or third date? Some disabilities are quite obvious while others can be hidden until the dating process has started.
Last edited by pixychic; March 4,2010 at 6:42am. Reason: My disability is my vision. I can't see details and distance. I also read with a magnifying glass. I aslo can't drive. I am c
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  February 22,2010, 5:56pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

I think anything that would or could possibly have an impact on the other person for any reason should be revealed sooner rather than later.

I dont know how many responses you will get here, but you might want to do a search for dating and disabilities to see what some of the responses have been in the past.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  February 22,2010, 6:17pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

It really depends on what the disability is. If it is a disability that affects your everyday life and prevents you from doing things that your matches would consider normal then it should probably be in your profile.

Something that is not obvious and you usually keep hidden then it may not need to be revealed until you begin dating. However, the longer you keep it a secret the worse it will be when you reveal it.
 
  Reply With Quote
Spider is offline Spider Post #4  February 22,2010, 6:27pm
Spider's Avatar

got 174 new students this year

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2007

Posts: 1,919

See profile

What others are saying:
If it's an obvious disability - something that is visually apparent or which severely limits mobility or communication- then I think you should disclose up front. (at least by the time you get into open communication)That will weed out those who wouldn't be able to accept you before you've invested too much effort, time, or emotion.

Something that isn't so apparent, say a chronic but not constantly debilitating condition, could wait until later.

The Sweetie was very upfront in his profile about his condition. I think he phrased it as 'having a visible and obvious physical difference', and that did help me decide to go ahead and contact him. Of course, it was in the basic information anyway - there's no way to get around being 4'5"!
 
  Reply With Quote
storyteller123 is offline storyteller123 Post #5  February 23,2010, 5:48pm
storyteller12…'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2010

Illinois

Posts: 61

See profile

I used to keep my being Deaf out of my profile. On another dating site there were a few men who communicated with me (once they got past the kids part, which meant I had to do the initiating).

Then I'd tell them I was Deaf and had near perfect speech. But I'd be honest and say I did depend on sign language whenever possible.

And that's the last I'd hear from them.

So now I put it in my profile. No one has shown interest but I'd rather find out now that they can't deal than later. I was married to someone who couldn't accept it and later dated someone (from this site!) who also wasn't willing to go the extra mile.
 
  Reply With Quote
pixychic is offline pixychic Post #6  March 4,2010, 6:41am
pixychic's Avatar

sees nothing but sunshine!

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Whitehouse OH

Posts: 8

See profile

My disability is my vision. I can't see details and distance. I also read with a magnifying glass. I aslo can't drive. I am currently blind in one eye but that is temporary or so they tell me.
Do I tell people in my profile I have visual issues but am not blind?
Thanks for all the responses so far
 
  Reply With Quote
pixychic is offline pixychic Post #7  March 4,2010, 6:43am
pixychic's Avatar

sees nothing but sunshine!

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Whitehouse OH

Posts: 8

See profile

My disability is my vision. I can't see details and distance. I also read with a magnifying glass. I aslo can't drive. I am currently blind in one eye but that is temporary or so they tell me.
Do I tell people in my profile I have visual issues but am not blind?
Thanks for all the responses so far
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #8  March 4,2010, 8:51am
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

I have a female friend in that situation- she is legally blind and doesn't drive, but otherwise her vision issue doesn't hold her back much.

We discussed this and decided that the time for her to bring it up was when she was going to meet someone and could explain that she doesn't drive and that's why, so she would need some input on where to meet.

If she were totally blind she might want to mention it sooner since that's a bigger lifestyle issue, but her condition is hard to explain in a few words on a profile, and other than driving does not really affect her lifestyle.
 
  Reply With Quote
eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  March 4,2010, 9:05am

Moderator

Joined: Sep 2008

Pasadena, California

Posts: 1,814

See profile

Hi Pixychic,

Welcome to eHarmony Singles and eHarmony Advice!

I’m really glad you’re asking – I do agree with those who have said that if it’s obvious, you may want to put it on your About Me page. The way you present the information can make a difference, too.
There’s nothing wrong with simply presenting the information in a straightforward way. You may want to consider, however, adding how your condition has actually enhanced your life in some ways. This way, matches who value what you’ve experienced and what you’ve gained from it will be more likely to contact you. Just an idea.

All the best,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
  Reply With Quote
Phantom_Rose is offline Phantom_Rose Post #10  March 4,2010, 11:27am
Phantom_Rose's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Knoxville

Posts: 18

See profile

I know where you're coming from. I'm visually impaired & have limited mobility but the only thing that my disability effects is transportation b/c I'm unable to drive. My vision places some minor limitatins on my life but I'm mostly able to function as a normal person.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« What happen to simple manners? | Using eHarmony | Getting Married after two months »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Dating and Disclosing Disabilities Megalopsuchos Ask a Dating Expert 3 January 27,2010 3:30pm
A lesson in relaxing preferences and dating with disabilities eHA_Admin_Lori Dating 6 September 4,2009 6:46pm
Dating and disabilities outlaw1 Talk to your Community Team 29 July 21,2009 9:55pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:52pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0