Who needs to send the first messages?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
oldfashionedgirl22 is offline oldfashionedgirl22 Post #1  February 22,2010, 8:23am
oldfashionedg…'s Avatar

Joined: Feb 2010

Posts: 1

See profile

I have only had an EH account for about a month, so still new to all this...

I am old-fashioned and still want to ultimately be pursued. I feel like this is quite a stretch for me to pay for online dating, so obviously my old-fashioned thoughts are not that rooted and are not prohibiting me from trying something new. My question is... now that I have several matches that seem interesting, is it too forward for the girl to be the one sending the first "icebreakers" or questions? Do guys actually like that or prefer the girls to step out first? Or should I just sit and wait to see what happens?

I am shy at first and this is way out of my comfort zone. I would appreciate any advice or thoughts on this. Thanks!
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  February 22,2010, 11:42am
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

It is not too forward of you to send the first communication. You are paying for this service as much as they are. Use it to your full advantage.

Be aware, though, that many of your matches can be non paying members and you may not hear from them at all. Don't be discouraged tho. It can take time. Also, don't use your ice breakers. They are 1x use only per match and are the only way a non paying member can communicate with a paying member.

Good luck. Us more traditional girls need to stick together.
 
  Reply With Quote
ZakJuan is offline ZakJuan Post #3  February 22,2010, 11:58am
ZakJuan's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 74

See profile

As Andiels said, whomever you find interesting just go ahead and contact him eyes closed. Dont miss any oppurtunity and most importantly dont waste time waiting...Go Crazy.
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  February 22,2010, 1:26pm
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

Geez, it's just a matter of pressing a few buttons on your screen.
 
  Reply With Quote
bretagne89 is offline bretagne89 Post #5  February 22,2010, 1:32pm
bretagne89's Avatar

wants to go back to Paris...

Pacesetter

Joined: Nov 2009

Fredericksburg, VA

Posts: 332

See profile

mrflyer wrote :
Geez, it's just a matter of pressing a few buttons on your screen.
But we are frail, timid women!

And nothing personal, OP, but we get a lot of questions like this. If you are paying for the service, use it.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #6  February 22,2010, 1:48pm

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

mrflyer wrote :
Geez, it's just a matter of pressing a few buttons on your screen.
but that means i have to put down my mint julep and my fan!
 
  Reply With Quote
MicMan is online now MicMan Post #7  February 22,2010, 2:52pm
MicMan's Avatar

is living life to 83% of its normal capacity.

Board Leader - Sports

Joined: Feb 2009

Posts: 2,964

See profile

scarlet13 wrote :
but that means i have to put down my mint julep and my fan!
Just be close to your fainting couch when you do.

But seriously, it is five questions, not a marriage proposal.

Also, do not send icebreakers. That's a classic indicator that you are a non-paying member.

If you are paying for the service get your money's worth.
 
  Reply With Quote
krohnan is offline krohnan Post #8  February 22,2010, 3:58pm
krohnan's Avatar

destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow.

Board Leader - Music

Joined: Jan 2010

Rockvile

Posts: 294

See profile

scarlet13 wrote :
but that means i have to put down my mint julep and my fan!
Fear not! I have smelling salts on standby in cas you're overcome by the vapours!
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #9  February 22,2010, 5:15pm

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

*swoons
 
  Reply With Quote
JSlater is offline JSlater Post #10  February 22,2010, 7:34pm
JSlater's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Irvine, CA

Posts: 25

See profile

I'd have to say it's kind of exciting when a girl I'd actually be interested in initiates contact, I don't know who would ever consider it wrong in any way. Maybe I just like more aggressive women. Shy or not, just click, you have absolutely nothing to lose.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« New Member Needs Advice | Using eHarmony | eHarmony Profile Workshop Question 13: Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Should I Send Her Flowers???? rmb83 Ask a Dating Expert 9 February 13,2010 7:29pm
HELP!! Send His Mom a Card or NO?? jussmile Relationships 12 January 15,2010 6:37am
Dating site advice - guys using 'flirts' instead of real messages... MazarineSunset Dating 9 October 6,2009 6:34pm
Can non-paying see messages? Rules? JoeB1901 Using eHarmony 6 June 24,2009 2:27pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:52pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0